Suicidal Love
by Anorexia
Summary: After Kohaku is released from a Suicdal Teens Hospital, problems begin and it seems that some things in his life are going from bad to worse. Ecspecially when he finds the woman he loves is killing herself and not even knowing it. Warning: May trigger ED
1. Chapter 1

Author's note - I've had this story for a little over a year and I'm highly unsatisfied with it. For a long time I was pending on wether or not to delete it. But then, as I re-read the story I decided to re-write it. So, after I finish re-writing all the chapters I will finally post a new one. Thank you for putting up with my long hiatus. (It's still the same, I've just added, removed, and edited a few parts.)

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

I stare out of the car window as the rain softly beats upon it. I place my headphones on, it would be the last time I used them for a while. Turning it up as far as it would let me, I turned to my favorite song and slightly shook my head to the beat.

At the stop of a red light my sister, Sango took my headphones off and turned the volume down. "You'll go death if you don't keep it at a certain level."

I glared at her for turning down the music, I was mad at her for several reasons. She was sending me away to a Hospital for some therapy thing, I never did pay attention to what she was saying about it. All I remember her saying was something about me having a therapist and that I would be able to see her every Saturday...something like that.

"I called the doctor last night, he said your consular will be a girl, so be more polite to her." Sango said in her usual controlling tone.

I rolled my eyes and placed my headphones back on and turned the music up, making sure the music was at a decent level for her, I went back to nodding my head to the beat, occasionally looking at the wet damp streets, and people who walked on them.

An hour slipped by and we still weren't at the Hospital. "Are you lost?." I ask, getting tired of having my ass on this chair.

"No, it's an out of town Hospital, I told you that. It'll be another thirty minutes." She snapped.

"Whatever.." I placed in a new CD and close my eyes, tilting my head back so I'd be able to get my last couple of minutes of peaceful sleep.

Thirty minutes later, I felt Sango waking me up.

"Kohaku, we're here."

I slowly opened my eyes, in front of me was a large white three-story building which bare the words "Tokyo Hospital for Troubled Teens" across the entrance. I'm not "troubled" I don't even know why she was sending me here in the first place. It's a mother's job to worry if her son is harming himself, not the older sisters.

Reluctantly, she walked me up to the entrance. "You know...if you weren't harming yourself, you wouldn't be here...I'm so sorry it had to come to this." She sighed softly. "I'll come by with Miroku next weekend to see your progression." Sango bent over slightly and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm going to miss you Kohaku...good-bye."

As Sango left me in the entrance, a tall Nurse dressed in plain white, carrying a clipboard came to my side.

"I'm Miss, Taka. I'll be your Nurse while you're here Mr..." she glanced at the clipboard, "Anberu. Come with me please. I'll address you to your room and consular."

Miss. Taka grabbed my hand and guided me through the Hospital. In the hallways were several teenagers, all with the same dead look on their face. At the end of the long hallway was a door that looked no different from all the others. When she opened it there were two Doctors and a girl with long black hair.

"Mr. Oroshi, Mr. Takai, and Miss Sakaru, this is Kohaku Anberu, you're newest patient." Miss Taka said formally.

The two Doctors took a quick look at me and then continued back to their conversation, pointing at papers and writing down notes. The woman, Miss Sakaru, stood up and faced me. She seemed to be no older then seventeen, with bright brown eyes, a flashy smile and a curvy figure.

"Hello." She said, sticking out her hand. "I am Miss Sakaru. Your consular, if you feel uncomfortable calling me Miss Sakaru, call me Rin."

I took her small hand in mine. "Okay...Rin."

Rin pulled out a seat for me and alerted the Doctors that I was "ready." The Doctors sat down and began explaining things to me. What pills I would be taking, what was and was not allowed here, my schedule, what my meals would be for the next week and the daily group activities. Finally, after about an hour, they handed a set of white clothing to Rin.

"Alright Miss Sakaru, he's all yours."

She took the clothing and bowed. "Thank you Mr. Oroshi." She turned her head and smiled. "Come along Kohaku. I'll show you to your room."

I sighed and followed her. We went up a set of stairs and then to the end of the hallway.

"Room 220." She said brightly. "Here you go."

Inside was white. The walls, the utilities, the bed sheets...everything was white.

"It's white..." I said in disapproval.

"Most of the hospital is. Very few rooms are actually colored...well...it depends on what you call color..." She handed me the white clothing. "I'll give you time to change. Though I'm not scheduled to work with you today, I thought I'd take the time to get to know you better."

I quickly removed my clothing and placed the new ones on. It was highly uncomfortable and itched my skin every now and then.

Shortly, Rin returned to the room. "Kohaku? Are you changed yet?."

"Yes." I replied, sitting down on the lumpy bed.

She smiled as she walked into the room. "Mind if I sit next to you while we talk?."

I shrugged. "If you want."

She smiled once more and sat down next to me. "So, let's start." She paused for a minute, trying to think of something to say. "I know! Do you have any pets?"

I nodded. "Yeah, a cat named Kilala...she's more my sisters though."

"A cat? How adorable! I'd love to get a cat but my Dad is allergic to them. What about your parents? I told that it was your sister that dropped you off, I thought it would be your parents unless they were to busy at work."

"My parents are dead." I said stiffly. I didn't like talking about them at all, not even with Sango. "I live with my sister and her fiancé."

Her cheerful expression left.

"Oh, I am so sorry...do you mind if I ask how and why? It'll help me while I counsel you." She placed her right hand on mine.

"My mom died while giving birth to me, and my dad..." I wasn't going to tell _her_ how he died. She really doesn't need to know. I'll be out of here in no time and I don't want her to know much about my personal life. Thankfully, she understood.

"That's alright, you don't have to say. Most patients of mine don't feel comfortable telling me." She was back to her cheerful self. "So you said your sister has a fiancé? When is the wedding?"

"Middle of October, shortly after I start school again."

She then became giggly. "How sweet," was all she could say.

I stared at her for a minute, watching her giggle about Sango's wedding before I gave a weak cough, letting her know that I was here and wanted her to shut up.

"Oh! Right, I'm sorry." She thought for more questions. "What do you do for fun? What's a regular day for you?"

"Nothing really...since it's Summer I have a lot of time to myself. I now just lay on my bed listening to music until Sango calls me for dinner. I then eat with them and once I'm done, go back up to the bedroom and listen to music some more until ten or midnight. Then when I know that Sango and Miroku are finally asleep, I come downstairs and watch a bit of tv, go on the computer...things like that."

A few more questions went by before Rin finally stood up. "Well that's all the time I really have to talk to you. I'm sorry it can't be longer."

"No problem." I said, thankful she was finally going.

"We'll have our first visit..." she mumbled to herself trying to remember, "Monday! Good-bye Kohaku." She grabbed my "regular" clothing and walked out the door with her cheerful smile and waves.

I laid down on the bed once she was gone and let out a heavy sigh.

_Why would Sango place me in the hospital anyway? I've only done it a few times. If she just left me alone and wasn't always bothering me I'd be able to live a 'normal' life. Besides, it's not like she hasn't done it either. I know what things she does when Miroku leaves for his business trips._

The bed was hardly even comfortable to sit on and now laying on it made it worse.

_There must be some way to get out of here early...

* * *

_

**_Rin's POV_**

After my session with Kohaku finished it began to pour. The rain was beating heavily on the building, cars, and road. I grabbed my umbrella out from one of my inside jacket pockets and opened it, placing it over my head as I searched for my mom.

Soon enough, my moms car pulled into the parking lot. She honked the horn a couple of times, letting me that she was waiting.

"So how was work today?." My mom asked in her usual cheerful voice.

"Good, there's a new patient today. His name is Kohaku Anberu. He's around my age, maybe older." I set my soaking umbrella on the car floor.

Mom raised an eyebrow. "Is he cute?."

I turn a light pink and stare out of the window. "I-I..wouldn't know, I'm focusing more on my job, not how cute my patient is!."

She gave a small laugh. "So, what is he in for?."

"He cuts himself..."

"Another?" Mom replied in disbelief. "He's the fourth one that's been admitted this month."

"His mother died during his birth, and his father was killed for some reason he didn't say. He now lives with his older sister and her boyfriend...He says that it just gives him relief." I stopped talking and placed my hands closer to the car heaters.

Mom and I didn't talk much after that. She had turned on the radio and we sang a few of the songs that played on it together. Laughing every time one of us messed up on a line or word. She then took me out for American. It was something we did every other Saturday to just talk about what had been going on in our lives lately. Since it was Summer time and I always told her about work when I finished my shift it was normally gossip and updates in the lives of Celebrities, "glamour world" as we called it was what we normally talked about.

When we finished our food it was another hour before we were home. The streets were busy as usual and it was dead into rush-hour. By the time we were home it was near seven at night.

"I'm not going to bother with supper," mom called to me as I headed up for my room, "so if you get hungry again just snack on whatever you can find."

I wasn't hungry. American food always filled me up so fast.

After quickly dropping off my purse and books that I read while I waited for patient, I headed to the computer room. I knew no one would be online. It was either too early or too late. My friends either slept all day and weren't on until Midnight or stayed up all night and wouldn't get off until noon.

I decided to write in my online journal. In my opinion it wasn't as private. If they wanted to, my parents could easily go in and read it, but thankfully they respected that. It wasn't like my journal entries were personal. Most of them held information and my patient and their progress. Rarely I'd talk about my secrets and life. Why would I write it down? It's not like anyone would want to read it.

_August 1st, 2005._

_A new patient came in today; Kohaku Anberu._

_Name: Anberu Kohaku_

_Age: Sixteen_

_Hair/Eye color: Brown_

_Kohaku is more of a 'loner' type boy'. He's not very talkative and it seems that he tries to avoid anyone out of his comfort zone. He seems to have a highly bad attitude and if he wasn't always locked up in his room, I'd say he'd make terrible crimes. He's highly negative and isn't all that friendly._

_Like many of the people I counsel, Kohaku commits self-injury to his body. I've seen a few scars on his wrists from where the older cuts have been made. Since no new ones seemed to appear, I believe his sister made sure all the things that can be used as a knife were hidden from him. From what I've seen, his health seems perfectly fine. The doctors gave me notes explaining part of Kohaku's life before his Fathers death. For some reason of belief, I think that it is his death that maybe caused Kohaku to become this way. It is just a theory, I have yet to figure out why he does it._

I finished up the entry about Kohaku and checked my messenger. No one was online still. I wasn't going to wait for the next several hours so I signed off. It was only a quarter after eight by now. I shrugged and walked into the living room to finish watching the movie she was watching with her.

* * *

Author's notes - Hm, still to my disapproval, but it's better then the original version. 

Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes - Alright, I finally finished re-writing the second chapter, personally, I think it's much better then my first.

Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha

* * *

_Why can't time go any faster?_

I paced along my bedroom, anxious for it to be two. My dad would be home for the first time in six months. He was called away to the war, and we were unable to mail things to him. Mom had to ask one of her friends who has a spouse in the war to send a message to my dad if they saw him. Two weeks ago we were received a call from where the war was taking place at. They told mom that dad had been in a bombing, but thankfully survived. We were devastated that he was in the bombing, yet thankful at the same time he survived. They then informed us that once he was well enough, he would return home to us. We've been counting down the days since that phone call came.

"What do you think, Rin?."

Mom came out from my closet wearing a pair of skinny jeans with a regular plum top. She always tried to keep up with the latest fashion.

"Nothing to fancy, but still nice enough to wear at a homecoming. Right?." She placed her hands on her hips like the models and began walking around my room. "I'll then wear a pair of dress sandals and do my hair up really nice." She said, modeling her way out into the hallway. "You should get ready to. We have to leave in an hour."

Laughing, I closed my bedroom door and began rummaging through my clothing. I had never been to a homecoming before. What would I wear? Is it just like every other day or would that show little respect? I debated over several clothes. Everything was inappropriate, to short, to baggy, etc. It wasn't until I had pulled out every last piece of clothing before I found the perfect outfit.

It seemed to be perfect. A pair of my best jeans and a white tee with the old Japanese flag on it. I'd then place chopsticks in my hair. The perfect outfit to an occasion like this.

I quickly applied some make-up, slipped on my shoes, grabbed my purse and raced out of my bedroom.

"Don't you look all grown up." Mom said, laughing a little as soon as she saw my appearance.

I smiled. "Thanks mom. You look a _lot_ younger in those clothes."

We laughed together and drove down the busy roads of the city. Since dad left it became a habit for mom and I to act more _girly_ then usual. I suppose that was one of the very few things I liked about having my dad gone. I was able to act more like my gender.

It was eleven forty-five when we reached the place of the homecoming and I was anxious. Most of the people there where in large numbers. There was the spouse, the children, and the brother and sisters of the people. Some even had the grandparents and parents come. Our group would've been bigger if my uncle Inuyasha and aunt Kikyou came. But ever since my uncle was born, him and my dad have been rivals. Mainly over stupid things. I can't see why they just don't make up.

A large bus then pulled into the area. The windows were tinted, which made it hard to see where dad was. One by one the men and women came out of the bus, hugging and kissing their loved ones. It was nearly empty and I was beginning to wonder if they gave us the wrong date.

"Rin! There he is!." Mom grabbed me and hugged me tightly.

The very last person to come out was my dad. Unlike the other men and woman who came out of the bus, he showed no emotion of happiness to see us again.

"Dad!." Ran up to him and hugged him tightly around his waist. Mom came up to the side and wrapped her arms around his neck and began kissing him all over the face. Dad returned the motion and wrapped his own arms around my mom and kissed her back. I had pulled away by then and began to giggle. When mom was finished, dad bent onto his knees and gave me a hug.

"You've grown so much, Rin." He said in my ear, hugging me tighter.

The drive home was interesting. Full of stories of the war he was in. He told about his night raids, missions and training that he had to do. No one said anything about the bomb. I'm glad they didn't, it would've been highly uncomfortable to discuss it.

When we got home, my mom began to make dad his favorite dish. I could never remember how to pronounce it, all I knew was that it was a dish from China. Dad and I decided to start up a conversation while we waited.

"Rin, how have things been here with you?."

I thought for a minute on where to start. There was so much to tell him. "Well the start of the year - when you left - was a little boring. School was always flooding me with homework, so I didn't have a lot of time to do go outside and do my usual activities. I passed the grade with straight A's though! Of course mom was thrilled with that, so she took me and Souten, Kanna and Shiori out to a really expensive restaurant. They also got straight A's!" I paused for a minute, trying to gather some more breath to talk. "And then in the beginning of summer Souten went to camp, Kanna went away to the America's for vacation and Shiori went camping on another one of the islands. Of course I got really bored so I decided to get a job."

This raised my dad's eyebrows. "A job?"

I nodded. "Yeah, you see, since for the past three years I've received nothing but perfect grades. Since I'm a few months shy of being sixteen it was really iffy, but somehow mom was able to get the paperwork I needed to work in a situation like this."

"What situation would that be?."

"I'm a consular. At the hospital for troubled teens. About two hours out of town. A lot of the patient are really nice, some aren't really willing to tell me their problems and everything like that but the ones who do will make a faster improvement, and will be able to go home faster. That's what I've been doing for the past two and a half months. Two weeks before school starts again they're going to have to let me go though. I really don't want to leave. I really like counseling these people."

Dad didn't say anything. He just stood up and walked to the dinning room where mom had just set everything up for supper.

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

I laid on my bed, staring at the white ceiling above me. It was the only thing to do in here.  
_  
I swear I'm going to kill myself of boredom if they don't let me out soon!. I'll just fake good behavior and pretend to stop what I am doing and once I get out and then once everything is back to the usual, I'll go back to the cutting!._ _Why do I cut myself?...It seems to bring me relief...and it calms me dow-_

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my door.

"It's Rin!."

As she opened the door, I turned my body around so my back would be towards her.

"So...it's been a week, and I'm seeing much improvement. Do you feel safe here, Kohaku?."

I didn't answer her.

"Kohaku?."

"I guess. There isn't anything to do here except think so it gives me a lot of time to go over what I've done."

A smile grew on her face. "That's good. I talked to the doctors this morning. They said if you kept up this behavior and progress they'll let you out next Saturday."

_Just one more week? _

I didn't want to spend another week in the hospital, but if it was going to get me out early, I was willing.

"Why don't we do something different...let's go outside to talk."

Immediately, I stood up. "Anything to get out of this room."

The thought of going outside seemed nice. I hadn't been out once since I arrived here and it was starting to annoy me. The scent of medicine and blood was now common in my sense and it didn't bother me as much as it usually did. I still longed for fresh-air though.

When we walked outside the scent of pine filled the air. Not my favorite but better then what was in the hospital. It was also nice to see some color, even if it was now all green and grey. We didn't get to far away from the hospital when Rin sat down on a bench.

"We'll talk here today."

I shrugged at sat a fair distance away from her.

"So, Kohaku, what was life like before your dad passed away?."

I thought for a minute. "Not much different really...things were done faster when he was around and there was a lot less fighting going on..."

"You fight with your sister?." She tilted her head with a confused look upon it.

"Yes...well...I mean not fight in that way but verbally. There will be times when we'll have a big argument. You know, just the regular sibling fighting."

She blinked a few times.

"I see...well your sister is getting married soon you said. Does that make you happy that you'll have a family growing once more in your house?."

"Not really. Her fiancee' is a pervert and if he wasn't so committed, would be constantly cheating on her. I told her that he's an un-trusting person at times but Sango just says that he's changed from when they first started dating. I can't say if it's true or not."

Rin then pursed her lips together tightly as though she was lost for words.

"You don't seem like a very social person...did something happen when you were younger that made you this way or do you have a controlling girlfriend that won't let you be social?."

She must've dealt with people with controlling girlfriends before, why else would she ask?

"I was teased a lot, but that's not enough to all of a sudden make me cut myself, and no, I don't have or controlling girlfriend, nor did I have one previous to me being here."

Her eyes then traveled to my scared wrists, I noticed them study my scars as if she was trying to figure out something.

"It's going to be time for lunch soon, do you want to head back now?."

I shrugged. "Why not, it's not going to get me out of here any faster."

We ate lunch together, in the Hospital cafeteria, but it didn't last long. One of the other patients began to have an episode, and they needed her help to calm the patient right away. I finished my lunch alone like I normally did when she wasn't asking to eat with me. Once I finished, I had a nurse named Mrs. Shima come and guide me back to my room. She wasn't as relaxed as some of the other women who worked there, she was more tense and highly strict about everything in sight.

Once in my room, I laid back down on the bed and stared up at the white ceiling to think once more.

* * *

Author's notes - It's still a bit shorter... 

Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha.

Author's note - Okay! I finally finished chapter three.

* * *

"I can see my sister today?." I asked. It was my third week in the hospital, and I was anxious 

Rin nodded her head. "Yes, she'll be here soon."

I looked at her eyes. They were fixed on my wrists, obviously she was staring at the several scars that were inflicted upon them. I quickly cover them up and stutter. "S-so...do you have any siblings?."

She shook her head and looked up to my eyes. "No...I'm an only child. I'm adopted, and they say my Mother can't have children." She then glanced at her watch. "Fifteen more minutes until you can see her again."

We stayed silent for a few more moments before I asked her another question. "Do you have a Boyfriend?."

Why the hell did I ask her that?. She wasn't _my_ type, and I was pretty sure that suicidal boys weren't her turn-on.

"Oh..." The color in her cheeks raised. "...no. I don't have a Boyfriend, and my parents are way to strict to let me have one anyway."

I turn a light pink with her.

_Why am I asking the questions? She's the consular!_

Her watch beeped a few times. "Oh, it's time to see your Sister!." She stood up and took my hand to lead the way.

Shortly after going down a few halls we reached a large set of doors with the words. "Visitors." on it. "I'll help you look for her when we get in." She pushed open the doors and walked me in.

"Kohaku!." Sango's voice rang throughout the Visiting room as she rushed over to me and gave a bone-crushing hug to my body.

"S-Sango!." I choked out, gasping for air as she let go.

Miroku quickly followed after Sango and smiled at me. Miroku must have noticed Rin standing behind me, since the next thing he did was wrap his arm around my neck and bring me closer to whisper; "So...who is that pretty Lady?."

I raised an eyebrow and laughed. "My consular..."

"I don't think we've met before." Rin said, sticking out her hand. "Even though I'm his consular, I'm normally not the one who takes the patients to see family members. My name is Rin Sakaru."

Sango and Miroku shook her hand with cheerful smiles.

"Have you hit on her yet?." Miroku leaned in again after shaking Rin's hand.

I shook my head. "Not unless I want my ass kicked by her Parents or the Staff."

Miroku grinned as we sat down at the nearby seating.

"Well do you want to-.."

"How are the Wedding plans going?"

If there was one thing I didn't want to talk about during their visit, it was about my thoughts on woman or anything related to them.

Miroku frowned. "It's going great, I guess. Sango always has Kikyou and Kagome come over so she can talk about the _Perfect Wedding_ she wants."

I glanced at my sister. She was now showing Rin pictures.

_Why is she showing her pictures?_

"You know Kohaku...Sango isn't the religious type, but she's started praying everyday and night for your safety and that you come home soon." I glanced back at her, now she was pointing at one of the photos.

"Really? Sango is one of the _last_ people I see praying."

Miroku nodded. "Yeah...she won't let me in the bedroom while she does it, but I always hear what she says."

I looked down at my scared wrists this time. "She misses me that much?."

Miroku nodded again. "Yeah...the first night she left you there, she spent the whole night crying in my arms and all she said was 'I want my brother back.' She acted as though you died."

_If she acted that way when I go away to a Hospital...I'd hate to see what it's like when I do die..._

I sit up properly. "You can tell Sango that I'll be coming home soon!." Miroku smiled and patted my back.

"Good."

Sango and Rin walked over to us. "Can I have Kohaku to myself for a little while?."

Miroku nodded and took Rin to another nearby seating area.

"Do you like it here?." She asked, her head down.

"Yeah, I guess it's okay...Rin is probably the only thing good about this place."

She stayed silent. "So...what were you talking to Rin about?."

Sango then picked up her head. "Oh... I was just asking her some questions about how you are and showing her pictures from before..." She stopped as a few tears dripped down the side of her face. I wasn't sure what to say next. I patted her back, hoping it would make her stop.

"It's okay..."

She stopped crying and hugged me. "I miss you at home..."

"Yeah...I'm aware...Miroku says that you started praying for me."

She nodded and held me tighter. "It's because I want you to stay safe...and come back home."

I glanced back to Miroku and Rin. She had a huge smile on her face as she rushed out of the visiting room.

"Come back really soon...and not start the cutting again...please?." I stayed silent. "Please?." She hissed in my ear. "Yes...I'll come back soon..."

"Um, I'm sorry to interrupt..."

We looked up to see Miroku towering above us."Rin says she's going to talk to Kohaku's doctors if they think he's ready to leave."

Sango stood up, nearly knocking me to the ground. "Really? He can come home? Today maybe?."

"Really, I can go home?."

Rin nodded again. "Yes..." She seemed sadden by this news.

"What's wrong?."

She twirled her foot around. "Nothing, things like this make me sad because it's a happy moment."

_It makes her sad because it's a happy moment?_

I shook it off. "Maybe I can ask Sango if I can give you my number and you can come over for dinner one day with your Parents?."

She picked up her head and smiled. "Oh! Yes! That would be fun!."

Several moments later, I was back into my regular clothes.

_Much better!_

I thought as I slipped into my jeans and black Tee-shirt.

I walked out of the front doors with Rin. "You're the first Patient we've had that has leaved in three weeks."

"Really?" I said in disbelief.

"Yes...some of the Patients have been here for Three years...it's sad..."

She forced a smile on her face. "Your sister already gave me your number and address."

I shoved my hands into my pockets. "Oh...okay...well I'll expect a call from you soon then?." She frowned as we reached the car.

"Well, bye Rin."

She wrapped her arms around me. "Bye Kohaku."

_W-what? She...she's hugging me!_

I turned red as I hugged her back. "Don't worry...I do this when I say good-bye to someone.."

I tightened the hug and pulled her closer to me.

"Smile!." The flash of a camera blinded me for a moment. Rin and I pulled away, rubbing our eyes from the light impact.

"Argh...Miroku...why are you taking pictures?." I say in annoyance.

Miroku smiled and took another. "Because it's fun!." I would have rolled my eyes but they were in pain from the flash from the second photo taken. I never did understand him anyway.

Sango shortly afterwards came out of the Hospital and got into the car. "Come on Kohaku!. It's a two hour drive home."

I see Rin wave good-bye to me one more time, as our car speeds out of the drive way.

I pulled out my CD player, which seemed to have been in the same spot where my sister left it the day I left. "Ah...music..." I set the sound to an appropriate level. For a change my mind wasn't focused on the Music, it was focused on something else. I shook my head and turned up the music louder, hoping that would drown out the thought.

Sango took my headphones off. "Come on...you just got out of the Hospital..."

"So?." I was lost from her point.

Sango smiled and ran her fingers through my head like she used to when I was younger. "Take it easy..."

I was more confused. "Um...okay..."

_I'll never understand girls..I am taking it easy to what I could do!..._

She ran her fingers through once more before turning around.

I placed my headphones back on and closed my eyes. Softly once again, banging my head to the beat of the music. In the middle of the next song I heard a faint.

"Miroku! Watch out!." And then an impact.

It felt like my body was being pushed together and I couldn't breath. I then felt as though our car was rolling over. The car seemed to be upside down, as the feeling of blood rushing to my head gave me that thought. I kept my eyes shut, in horror of what I might find. I struggled and moved my arms around to stop the surviving CD player.

"S-...Sango!." I coughed out, hoping she would answer me.

"Kohaku...?." Miroku answered me, not Sango.

"Are...you okay?." I coughed out again.

"Yes!...I'm fine...what about Sango?."

Shortly after I said her name, she gave a sharp moan of pain. I sighed with relief. The pain of the blood rush to my head was unbearable, I undid my seatbelt and fell to the roof with a loud thud. "Ah!..." I looked down at my legs. The right one felt to be broken.

Sango and Miroku undid their seatbelts and fell with a thud shortly after, they both screamed in pain as well.

"S-sister, what happend?."

Once again, Miroku answered me. "We were driving...and it...seems like someone purposely tried to make..."

I didn't hear the last of his sentence. I closed my eyes and fell asleep, hoping that when I woke up, I'd be back in that Hospital and Rin would be coming to take care of me.

* * *

"Take them to the nearest Hospital, these wounds are bad!." 

"But Sir, the nearest Hospital isn't a Hospital that wi-."

"Just do it!."

"Sir!."

I heard voices and the sound of people running around. I slowly opened up my eyes and coughed out for my sister.

"Don't worry, your sister will be fine. She's in an Ambulance that will take her to the nearest hospital." A young woman's voice filled my ease a little. I winced in pain and grabbed onto the woman's hand.

"It's going to hurt yes. Can you tell me your name?."

I breathed heavier. "Kohaku...Anberu."

She nodded as we both entered the back of an Ambulance. "Alright, Kohaku we're taking you to a Hospital."

I nodded my head as far as it would let me go.

The nurse cut open my jeans and examined my right leg. She gave a small gasp and grabbed some water.

"This might hurt..." She then poured some water onto my leg, washing off the lose blood. I wince and bite on my lower lip.

"I'm going to mend your leg...try to do whatever you can to bare with the pain."

I clenched my fists and bit my lip as she then began to work on me.

"I've done all I can, Kohaku." She said a few moments later as she dried her hands off with a towel. "Take these pain killers...they'll help in a big way." She hoisted up my head and helped me intake the medicine. She smiled at me and put the medicine away.

"Don't worry, we'll be at the Hospital soon."

I close my eyes and tilt my head back. "When...we get to the Hospital...can...you call Rin Sakaru?..."

She turned to face me. "Who?."

"R-Rin Sakaru. My consular at the hospital I just came from..." I felt the medicine working in. She nodded.

"Yes, I'll find her number and let her know where you are."

* * *

**_Rin's POV_**

"Hello, Sakaru residence?." I answer the phone, just barley making it before the answering machine did.

"Hello, is Rin there?." A woman's voice on the other end replied.

"Yes, speaking."

"I'm a nurse from the North Tokyo Hospital and I'm calling to inform you that your friend, Kohaku Anberu was recently admitted in."

The smile I had on my face was immediately went away.

"I-is he alright? When can I see him?." I frantically replied back to her

"Tomorrow afternoon. I have to get back to work now, nice talking to you Miss Sakaru."

She hung up the phone and left me with the blank face.

"Rin, hunny, what's wrong?." My mom asked, walking into the sitting room.

"It's nothing...um...I'm going to my room...please don't bother me." I hung up the phone and rushed to my bedroom.

I made it seem like I big deal. Why did I worry about him in a way that I felt like I was going to cry?. I grabbed my nearby stuffed animal and held it close to my chest, falling limply to my side I fell onto the bed and clutched the animal tighter and buried my face into it's head.

_Kohaku..._

I looked at the clothes in my closet.

_What do you wear to the Hospital when someone you care about is near death?._

I flipped through my bright colored clothes and came across a short black dress. The sleeves barley went past my elbows and the bottom part just went past my knees.

_Black will do..._

I slipped into the dress and grabbed my jean handbag.

"Daddy, will you take me to work?." I wasn't in the mood to search for my Mother today. I wanted to get to the hospital as soon as I could. I wasn't working today but if I told him I wanted to go to a hospital just to see a boy, I knew it'd be out of the question.

"Alright." He stood up and grabbed his keys.

"Do you normally wear a dress to work?."

I looked down at the rim.

"No..."

We didn't say anything else until we reached the correct hospital. "I'll call you when I need to be picked up. I might have to stay longer then usual."

"Alright, but make sure you call before four, your mother and I have plans later."

I nodded and jump out of the car.

I walked up the front desk, there was a small plaque that read. Dr. S. Suikotsu. "Dr Suikotsu...can you tell me where Kohaku Anberu is?."

Suikotsu looked down at his papers. "Oh, of course, room ten."

I thanked him and rushed down the hall to his room.

"Kohaku?" I push open the door and screamed his name out.

"Uh..Rin...what are you doing here?." I saw Kohaku sitting up, reading a magazine. While his sister and future-brother-in-law slept peacefully.

I rush over to his side and pull up a chair. "Kohaku! Are you alright? What happened?."

Kohaku smiled at me. "I'm fine...and I don't remember much except for the car flipping over a few times."

I sighed with relief. "Well as long as you are alright!."

He set the magazine down beside him and stared at my dress for a while. "What's with the dress, are you going to funeral or something?."

I looked down at his wrists again, for some odd reason I thought the scars made them more beautiful. "No, I felt like wearing a dress..."

He smiled. "You look nice in dresses."

It was off topic completely. He's in the Hospital and all he could think about was how nice I looked in a dress.

"Thank you." I smile as a blush appears under my eyes.

He smiled once more. "No problem."

_Eek, Rin stop flirting..blushing...or whatever it is you're doing!. You could lose your job and have your butt kicked by Daddy!._

I look up at him. "So...do you know when you'll be getting out?."

He shook his head. "No, sorry."

I glanced at his sleeping sister. "How bad are your wounds?."

I then looked at his leg. "Um, I broke my right leg. I have a large cut in my left arm...um..and my left leg seems to be pretty badly injured, it's also broken...but I slept through what they did."

We stayed silent for a little while before he spoke. "Could you turn on the T.v? I want to watch the news."

"The news? You don't seem like that type of person."

He laughed. "I wanna see if they mentioned our crash."

I frowned at him and turned on the television.

Changing it to the correct channel, I turned up the volume and sat back down.

"...and in other news. A family of three were in a car accident in mid-afternoon. All three of the Family members survived, and were sent to the Northern Tokyo Hospital with serious injuries. No one is unsure who caused the accident, since the person who caused it fled. If you have any information please contact the Authorities."

A few images of the wrecked vehicle flashed by, including one of Kohaku being taken out of the backseat.

"Oh...Kohaku, didn't that hurt?." He smiled and shrugged.

"Yeah for a moment...but I lived, didn't I?."

_You nearly died! And all you can do is joke around!._

I shook my head, I wasn't going to argue with him.

_I guess you have a point...you lived..._

_

* * *

_Author's note - Yes yes, I kept the cheesy car crash... 

Thank you for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha, or Chicken Soup For The Soul.

Author's note - Alright, it took me a while, but I finally have Chapter Four re-written.

**_

* * *

Rin's POV_**

"Could you stop staring at my scars? It annoys me when you do that." His voice rang with with high irritation and broke my gaze.

"Oh, I'm sorry..." I smiled in apology.

"I have no idea why you even take an interest in them."

I grabbed his left arm and went back to my stare. "Because, they tell a story about you." I could tell he was confused, because he snatched his arm away from my grasp.

"Rin...do you have any scars?." His eyes quickly studied my body, looking for even the smallest scar.

I nodded. "Well...I have this one..."

Slowly, I pulled down the right shoulder of my dress. He must have been thinking impure with the size that his eyes grew. I pulled it down right before it showed to much of my right breast."I know, it's really big..." It wasn't that big, but to me it seemed to be.

"No...not really. How did you get it?."

I pulled my dress back up. "I fell."

Kohaku raised his eyebrows, he knew I was lying and thankfully didn't push it into further discussion. He pulled up his sleeve on his shoulder was a thin scar.

"I didn't put that there." I looked closer at the scar.

"Oh...How-

"Did it get there? We were on a family trip an-

"Rin?." I was startled to her my dad's strong voice fill the room.

"Oh! Daddy, hello!." Dad stood in the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Rin, your mother and I are going out tonight. We have an important meeting, so I'm bringing you home early." My dad wasn't dressed as if he was going to an important meeting. He was dressed in one of his finest suites and his hair was done neatly, the way he used to do it when I was a little girl. I smiled. Knowing what this "important meeting" really was.

"I'll see you tomorrow Kohaku." I waved good-bye as I quickly dashed out of the room.

"Who is that boy?" Dad asked as soon as we reached the car.

"Kohaku Anberu...he was one of my patients."

Dad unlocked the car and opened the door. "Oh, yes. Your mother was telling me about him."

I hopped into the vehicle. "Yeah, I figured she would beat me to it."

* * *

"...and here are the emergency numbers." My mother handed me a large piece of paper. "Our cell phone numbers are on there as well. Also Inuyasha and Kikyou's home and cell phone number."

For a 'meeting' my mother sure was dressed up nice. Her hair was in it's usual bun, but this time she added white feathers to it, and she wore a long black dress with shimmers, similar the ones actresses would wear.

She placed a matching black shawl around her shoulders and grabbed her purse. Dad came rushing to the front room, as if he was in a hurry to leave.

"Now Rin, we won't be back till midnight or later, so we expect you to be in bed by then."

I nodded. "Don't worry. I will be."

Kissing my forehead and closing the door with a soft slam, I was left home alone.

I had never been home alone for more then a simple few hours. But it was only five, I had several hours to do whatever I wanted with the house. Rushing to my bedroom, I slipped into my favorite summer pajama's and grabbed a few of my favorite DVD's. I placed some popcorn in the microwave and set the first disc in the player.

Once I knew everything was ready I set down on the couch and wrapped a light blanket around my shoulders, and snuggled deeper into the couch. For a once in several weeks I felt relaxed.

* * *

When I awoke the next morning I was still on the couch and I had a heavier blanket over my body.

"About time you woke up." My dad's voice came from the other end of the room. I sat up and looked around.

"Oh...I'm sorry. I must have fallen asleep during the movie."

He flipped to the next page of the newspaper and continued reading.

"Where's mom?"

"She's in the bedroom. She said something about vomiting when she woke up."

I blinked several times. "I'm going to check on her and make sure she's doing alright..." I walked into the large bedroom, over to my mother's side of the bed. "Hey mom, how are you doing?."

She rubbed her head. "I think I had to many drinks." Mom then gave a small laugh. "Your dad will take you to the Hospital, don't worry."

I gave her a hug and rushed out of the room to change.

_Since I don't want this visit to be to depressing or preppy..._

I flipped through my clothes and pulled out a pair of fading jeans and a faded blue top that had been worn one to many times. Slipping into my clothes and brushing my hair, I walked by my make-up counter.

_Do I...?_

I grabbed my cherry lip gloss and shoved it into my pocket.

_It doesn't hurt to wear fancy lip gloss at a visit..._

"You don't mind driving me to the Hospital, do you dad?."

He stood up and grabbed his keys. "Alright. But don't you have to do work and not visit this boy though?" Dad's eyebrows raised a little.

"Yes, but I only have two patients. So I have the rest of the day off to see Kohaku."

The whole car ride there was in silence, except for the blaring stereo I turned on.

"I'll call you when I'm ready to leave."

He turned of the stereo as soon as I undid my seatbelt. "I'll be here at five. Be ready."

I wave good-bye and walk into the Hospital, itching to get to Kohaku's room.

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

"I talked to the Doctor, he said at the rate we are healing we'll be out of here in no time." Sango said, out of no where.

"Eh, that's good." I continued reading the teen magazine, when a title caught my attention. 'Unsure if you like them or** like** them?. Take our quiz and find out._'_ It was a crappy way title, but I was interested anyway.

The questions were rather stupid, as though they were written by someone who never experienced love.

'_Last question- How are you mostly likely to tell this person that you like them?_.

_A- A note_

_B- Just flat out tell them._

_C- Toss out hints.'_

I thought on that one for a moment.

_Hm...flat out tell them. _

I circled the letter and tallied up my scores. Reading my score, I tried not to say it aloud.

_You don't like this person; You love them. Though you may not know it and you may be in denial, it's true. Maybe he/she is a close friend or the most popular person in school. Either way you are desperately in love._

"Shitty result." I mutter under my breath. I toss the magazine on the floor.

Miroku stared at the magazine and laughed. "Didn't like your quiz result?."

I shot him a nasty glare. "No."

"What was the quiz Kohaku?." Sango now became a part of the conversation.

_It's just a quiz for teenagers who are stupid and believe in this crap._

"Oh, a quiz on if you like someone or _like_ them."

Miroku picked up the magazine and studied the quiz for a moment. "So...Kohaku, who's the lucky lady that you _love_?."

My eye twitched for a moment.

Sango giggled. "I bet it's Rin!." I gaped at my sister, she was acting like a little girl!.

"Oh come on Kohaku, we see the way you look at her!"

I glared at her and rolled over on my side, making my back face her.

A few minutes later a knock came at the door. "Rin's here." I say, hoping Miroku and Sango wouldn't giggle or do some crap like that when I _looked_ at her in _that_ way.

"Hey Kohaku! Sango. Miroku." Rin smiled and pulled up a chair. "Sorry I'm so late...work kinda went an extra twenty minutes."

I sat up to face her properly. "I talked to Dr, Suikotsu earlier. He said you can be released tomorrow morning!"

She then reached into the handbag she carried and pulled out a wrapped package. "Here, this is for you!." She placed it on my lap and gave me a once more, innocent smile.

"What's this for?." I pick it up and shake it around.

"Um, it's just a gift for no reason."

Sango's giggles grew a bit louder as I pulled off the silver ribbon and black wrapping.

"Chicken soup for the Suicidal Soul?." I asked. "Oh, these are those books when people go on about their problems and stuff like that, right?."

She took the wrapping and shoved it back into her bag. "Well..yes, but I think you might like this book!."

I opened the first page and began to read a little bit of it. "Er, thanks Rin." I toss her a fake smile and set it to my side.

She bowed her head. "You're welcome!."

Sango was now going to fall off of her bed in a huge fit of giggles that she was in.

"Sango are you alright?."

She stopped her giggling enough to answer Rin. "Y-yeah...hehe...I'm fine." She buried her face in Miroku's shirt to stop more giggling.

Rin shook her head and looked back to me. "So, how are you enjoying your stay here?"

I shrugged. "At least I have a t.v for a change."

She laughed and ran her fingers through her hair, bringing her perfect teeth into a toothy grin.

After an awkward moment of silence, Sango giggled a bit more.

"Rin, would you like to come our wedding?"Sango then asked. "After taking care of Kohaku and coming to visit us everyday, it's the least we can do."

She nodded furiously. "Thank you! I would love to go!."

Sango smiled this time. "Alright...don't worry you'll receive an invitation close to the date."

She thanked my sister and turned back to me. "I've only been to a wedding once! This will be so much fun!." She whispered.

"Oh, who's wedding?." As long as there wasn't an awkward silence, I was good. "My aunt and uncles. Kikyou and Inuyasha... Have you been to a wedding before?."

I shook my head. "Nope, my sister's will be my first one."

She squealed in delight. "You'll love going to weddings! They bring such a good feeling in yourself."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh really?."

She moved her hands with nearly everything she said. "Yes!"

The conversation of Sango and Miroku's wedding went on for several hours. In fact, her _entire_ visit was about Weddings.

"I can't wait till _I_ get married! It'll be so magical!."

I gave her a smile. "Yeah, I bet it will be."

Rin glanced at her watch and stood up. "Oh my dad will be here soon...I better go. Bye Kohaku." She bent down and gave me a little hug and rushed out of the room.

Once she was a fair distance from the room Miroku yelled out. "Wooo Kohaku and Rin! Sitting in a tree!."

I gave him a even more of an evil glare then the last time. "Shut up Miroku!." He smiled and whispered the rest in a low voice. "K-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage-."

Sango covered his mouth, knowing I was ready to tick. "Hehe, that's enough for now Miroku darling."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, grabbing the book Rin gave me, I rolled over to my side and began reading.

**_

* * *

Rin's POV_**

"Hey dad...how is mom doing?." I put on my seatbelt and turned on the AC.

"She's doing alright. She went to the doctor shortly after you left to see what's wrong. So we're going to pick her up."

I nodded and looked out the window as we drove away. "Oh...okay."

_I don't want to lose this mother as well..._

A few minutes later we pulled into the East Tokyo Hospital parking lot.

"Are you coming in, Rin?."

I undid my seatbelt and jumped out. "Yes."

We walked through several hallways and went a few feet up in elevators to get to her room.

'Room 10 D.'He knocked and waited for a short bald man who answered the door.

"Oh, Mr Sakaru!. Come in." When we walked in we saw my mother wearing a Hospital gown and sitting on one of those beds.

"Are you alright mom?" I rushed over and hugged her tightly. She placed her hand on my head and rubbed it.

"I'm fine."

Daddy talked to the doctor for a while. I was only able to make out a few of the words.

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yes sir, keep her away from smoking, drugs, and alcohol."

"We don't do any of those..."

They lowered their voices as the conversation grew.

Shortly afterwards, my mother changed into her regular clothes and walked out of the Hospital.

"Why did you go to the doctor?" My mother pulled out a fan and began to cool herself off. For some reason the summer heat was always murder for her.

"Oh, I wasn't feeling good...worse then I do every summer."

When we reached the house my mother immediately went to the computer room and looked up Baby names.

"Are you helping Aunt Kikyou chose names for her baby?." My Aunt was six months pregnant and she and my Uncle and no idea's for any names.

"Yeah...yeah I guess. What do you think of the name Kaze?."

I thought on it for a moment. "Wind? It's pretty!."

She looked at more names. "Or Yuki?. I like the two of those."

We looked at all the possible names. She smiled. "Yes I like that wi...I'm sure aunt Kikyou will like them."

The phone suddenly began to ring.

"Rin, could you get the phone?." Mom asked, still scrolling at baby names.

"Yes." I picked up the phone, hoping it wasn't another call telling me Kohaku would be in the Hospital longer or something like that.

"Hello, Sakaru residence?"

"Hey? Rin?" Kohaku's voice rang through my head.

"Oh! Kohaku! Are you out the Hospital already? Dr Suikotsu said that you wouldn't be let ou-"

He interrupted me and talked himself.

"No...well yeah. I'm out of the Hospital. But Sango wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow?." He seemed a little shy and his voice drifted off while he talked.

"Oh I would love to! Let me ask my dad!" I set down the phone and rushed to the Library room of our house.

"Daddy?" I knocked on the door and walked in.

"What is it Rin?" He didn't look up from his book.

"Um, Kohaku asked me to come over to his house tomorrow night. Is it alright if I go?"

Dad stayed silent for a moment. "His sister will be there right?"

I smiled. "Of course."

He turned the page of his book. "Alright."

I thanked him and rushed back to the phone.

"Yes! I can come over." I said in a near scream.

"Oh that's great.. We'll pick you up around five. The hospital was kind enough to give us your address."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and skipped to the bedroom, pulling out my Diary that was usually kept under my mattress.

_Dear Diary. _

_After Kohaku was released from the Hospital, he was in a terrible car accident. I was so worried about him! I almost thought he was going to die for a moment!._

_I visit him everyday, and even bought him a book. "Chicken Soup for the Suicidal Soul" it seems to suite him well. His sister even invited me to their wedding while I saw him today. I can't wait._

_He was supposed to be released tomorrow morning, but for some odd reason he was let out today. I'm not going to complain, since I'm happy that he is finally out. And tomorrow I'm going to see him at his house. (He invited me over for dinner.)_

_I'm not sure if I should dress up or wear a pair of jeans? Maybe a skirt? I don't want to look so fancy, when all he might wear is a old tee-shirt and jeans._

_Also in other news; My mother is now looking at baby names for my aunt. (Who will be due in a few months.) We decided either Kaze or Yuki,.Maybe also Aki? That's a pretty name to! (Kaze is my favorite though. And for some reason Mother acts as though it's her baby!.)_

_I'm off now._

_Rin.'_

Once I was finished with the diaryI shoved it under my bed and walked over to the closest. I always take so long to chose clothes. So I may as well do it the night before.

"Plan...to fancy, to short, to long..."

I pulled out a knee-long jean skirt and a lose black top that had three blue stars on them.

"Perfect!."

I set the clothes on my desk and walked out of the room.

Mom was _still_ looking for baby names when I walked out.

"Still, Mother?." She nodded and flipped through some more.

"What would _you_ want the baby named Rin? If it was yours I mean."

I thought on it for a moment. "Um. Well there is Yuki, Kaze, Aki, Kyoshi, Ai, or Asuka."

She stared at the computer screen for a long time. "Hm...those are so pretty..."

I hugged her. "You could always ask Aunt Kikyou and or cousin Kagome?." I walked out of the room and shut the door.

_Poor mom...she must want a baby really bad..._

When I entered the living room, my dad was looking out the window, thinking of something like always.

"What are you thinking about today dad?." He sighed and pulled me into a close hug.

"Just thinking about your mother."

I glanced back to the computer room. "Yeah..I'm worried about her too."

My dad seemed almost near tears as he spoke to me. "Your mother found out some news that's shocking and a little scary to her."

I freaked for a moment. "Is she alright? Is she going to die?."

He laughed a little. "No, she's fine..."

A moment of silence came between us before he coughed. "Your mother has some news she wants to tell you. And don't worry. It's nothing bad."

I nod and walk around to house looking for my mother, since when I checked the computer room she wasn't there.

When I entered my bedroom, I saw her. There she was, sitting on my bed holding the first stuffed animal she ever gave me. Tears brimming her eyes.

"Mom! Is something wrong?." I rushed over to her and sit down next to her.

"Everything is fine Rin."

I thought on what could make her so sad. "Are you upset because Aunt Kikyou is going to have her baby soon?"

She sniffed and shook her head. "No."

Not knowing what bugged her was driving me mad.

"Mother, please tell me what's wrong."

She brushed her eyes and smiled.

"Rin, would you like a baby brother and or sister?."

I nodded. "Yes. It would be wonderful! Are you going to adopt again?"

She shook her head.

"No Rin, I'm pregnant. I'm going to have my own baby."

I smiled and gasped in joy. "Are you serious mom?"

She nodded once more and pulled me into a warm hug.

"I can finally have a child of my own..."

I hugged her back, knowing how much this was going to mean to her, since she always wanted a child of her own to have.

She let go as more tears brimmed her face.

"You can help us design the baby's room...even your friend Kohaku can help."

We hugged again, both sitting in tears of joy.

* * *

When I first wrote this chapter, I was actually unaware that my own mom just found out she was pregnant.(Laughs) Well, what an improvement. This chapter went from seven pages to almost ten.

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha

Author's note- Once again, I am sorry to all of the Anti-Kikyou fans who read my story. But for once, just once, I'd like to see Kikyou be Inuyasha's lover. (Don't get me wrong. I am a _huge_ Kagome fan. I just thought that Kikyou needed some love.) Anyway - Here's the re-written chapter five.

* * *

**_Rin's POV_**

_No Rin, I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby of my own._

It was so hard to believe that my mother was going to have a child of her own. She was always online looking up stuff on what to do during your nine months. I didn't realize that you could do so much. My dad was also very happy about the news. Judging from whenever he was looking up baby stuff, he wanted it to be a boy. It seemed fair, two girls and two boys. Mom even made one of our guest rooms become the baby room and we would start working on it next weekend.

I was excited, yes, but I have other things on my mind for a change. I was to excited for dinner with Kohaku and his family. It wasn't until five, giving me a whole afternoon to get ready. Deciding that choosing my clothes would probably take the longest amount of time, I stared into my closet once more. I pulled out a jean skirt that went just barley above me knee.

_This will do._

I reached back into the closet and pulled out a white button up tee.

_Perfect!_

I tossed the clothes onto the bed and grabbed my robe.

Taking a long hot shower I came out with the clock reading Two Thirty.

Sighing, I dried myself off and slipped into the my clean clothing. Twisting my hair into the towel, I rushed over to the make-up counter.

_Other then daddy's home arrival, I actually have a reason for putting this stuff on!_

I glanced through the different shades. Placing a deep blue I had that matched my skirt, I lightly placed that on, before adding a deep cherry red lipstick color. I added some pink blush to my face then, making it look colorful and not pale white like always.

Deciding to let my hair run down and stay curvy, I quickly blow-dried it and pulled a brush through it. "There we go."

I smirked at my looks in the mirror. For some reason, I wasn't satisfied with the way I look. I felt a little over-weight and uncomfortable with the way I looked.

_I shouldn't worry. I'm fine. In shape and healthy..._

Hoping time would have gotten any further it read Three thirty. It was driving me crazy that I had to wait so long for something to happen.

_But still..._

I glanced back into the mirror. My pale body seemed to be a tad over-weight..it never hurt anyone to exercise and diet. I shook my head.

_No! What the heck...why...'_

I twirled around looking at different areas of my body.

..._come on, I know I look fine...or do I?_

I slapped myself mentally.

_Come on Rin! You know what happens to those girls who start doing that stuff...Anorexia...then again, they are thin...No! God. I'm not going to start!_

I placed a small blanket over the mirror, hoping it would stop me from thinking anymore things.

I decided mom was the best way to go in asking her questions about my body and looks.

Searching everywhere, I finally found my Mother. In the future baby room reading through a Magazine on new born's.

"Hey...Rin, what do you think of this crib?."

I looked down at the picture she showed me. There was a beautiful white crib with light blue stars on the polls and base as a design.

"Pretty."

She smiled. "If the baby is a boy, I think that's what I'll get him."

I smiled back and looked at the floor. Different pictures of different baby clothes, toys, and other things littered it. "This is probably a bad time. I'll come back later." I began walking out of the room.

"Oh no, it's alright. I have to learn to give my children equal share. I may as well start now."

I walked back to her and sat down. "Mom...I-"

The phone rang, interpreting my conversation.

"Sutsura, Miroku?" She said confused, handing me the phone.

"It must be Kohaku." I answered the phone, only to be half right.

"Hey Rin, it's Sango. I just called to tell you we're coming to pick you up!"

I could hear Kohaku and Miroku fighting over something since Kohaku was yelling.

"_I don't love her! I hardly like her!_" And Miroku's overpowering laughs of. "_Suuure Kohaku._"

"Oh, alright. Thank you, Sango. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and set it back down.

"Let me guess, they are on their way?." Mother said, picking up a new magazine and flipping through it. I nodded.

"Yeah."

"So what is it you wanted to talk about?"

I chewed on my lower lip. "Mom...am I...er, never mind." I kissed her forehead and walked out of the room before she could say anything to me.

Shortly after I had settled back down in my room, the door bell rang. I rushed the front door, hoping dad didn't get there before I did.

I was a second to late. There stood Kohaku, eyes wide and obviously a little freaked of him.

"Rin. This is Kohaku, right?"

I nodded. My dad stared at Kohaku once more, with an almost evil look in his eyes. Kohaku backed away a little, letting Sango come into the door way.

"Oh you must be Mr Sakaru. Sorry I don't know your first name." She stuck out a hand, ready for a friendly hand shake.

"Mr Sakaru will be fine." He didn't return the hand shake.

Sango frowned a little and placed her hand down. "Is there a certain time you want her back?"

"Nine at the latest."

Sango nodded and grabbed my hand and dragged me to the car with Kohaku shortly behind us.

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV _**

_Knowing Miroku he's going to make some perverted joke..._

I slowly make my way to the car. Knowing somehow, just somehow this thing would be screwed. I tried to stay silent through the whole car ride, but it was a little hard when Sango and Miroku started asking her questions.

"So Rin, how is your family?" Sango asked, turning her body to face the two of us.

"Oh my dad is good. He just got back from a Mission last week...so it's good to see him. And my mom is going to have a baby." She clasped her hands together and smiled.

Sango raised an eyebrow. "How old were they when you were born?"

I knew she had upset Rin with that question, since she turned her head away from me and looked out the window. "I don't know."

Thankfully that gave them a hint that she didn't really want anymore questions asked and they went on about more wedding stuff.

The car ride seemed short since we arrived there shortly after Rin stopped talking.

We pulled up to our house. It was much smaller then hers.

"Oh Kohaku, it's a pretty house." She looked at the flowers Sango grew, the freshly mowed lawn, and the sparkling white fence.

_It's only pretty because Sango woke me up to do all those chores... _

I rubbed my lower back, remembering the pain.

When we entered the house, Sango asked me to give her a tour.

"Yeah...uh...Living room, dinging room, kitchen, bedroom, bedroom, bedroom...guest bedroom..bathroom." I stood in the same spot and pointed to the directions of the rooms. This must have ticked Sango, since she had her hands on her hips and she was tapping her foot furiously.

I gave her a smile and grab Rin's wrist, dragging her across my house.

"...And that's Sango's bedroom.." I pointed to the first door. "I wouldn't want to go in if I were you."

She gave me a confused look.

"Never mind. Then here is Miroku's bedroom...well before he gets Married to my sister, Sango _insists_ he sleeps here."

This only made her more confused.

"Just forget what I said...this is my room." I pushed open the door, knowing she would want to see inside.

"It's so...black."

Everything was black, my walls, my roof, the windows were covered with black curtains. Every inch of my room was black. It seemed as though everything colored was covered up. Which was true. She walked into the room, looking around everything that was in it.

"What's this?" She bent down and picked up a blue book. "Something not black!." She waved it in the air and tried to open it. "It's lo-...your diary!"

My face became so pale as she pulled out a Hair pin from her pocket and tried to pick open the lock.

I raced over to her and tried to grab the book. "Come on Rin, there is nothing in there you would want to read!"

She backed away into the corner of my room and held it up high. "Aw come on Kohaku. Just a quick peek?. Besides, what do you have in here that I don't already know?"

She had a small point, most of the things in that book were things I told her already. But one page was supposed to remain a secret, something Sango and Miroku shouldn't ever know. "Well yeah, but one page is really personal."

She lowered her hands and frowned. "Oh." She gave over the book.

"Thank you."

I shoved the book under my mattress and sat down on it. She sat down next to me, red from embarrassment of her previous act.

"No need to be embarrassed."

She smiled and twirled a piece of her hair. "Oh, alright."

Miroku shortly afterwards called for us to come downstairs and that dinner was ready.

"I think Sango over did it..." I looked at the large choices of Sushi, Squid, Octopuses, and Miso soup that she placed on the table. Sango grinned at her 'masterpiece'.

Dinner started in silence, no one said much until Rin spoke.

"You have such a lovely home, Sango."

She smiled. "Thank you Rin, but it's actually Mirokus. Kohaku and I have been living here with him for quiet some time." Sango then turned a light pink and stuck another Sushi piece in her mouth.

Rin stared at her food for a moment, frowned and pushed the plate away.

"Something wrong?" I asked, setting down my chopsticks.

"Uh...I'm just feeling a little sick."

Miroku got up and headed to the kitchen. " I could give you some medicine."

She shook her head furiously. "Oh no, I'm good. It's just a stomach ache."

He sat back down.

"Oh.." I looked at her suspiciously. Something was up, she was perfectly fine just a few minutes ago.

Shortly after we finished our meal, Sango came out carrying a large cake. Rin bit her lip and clutched her stomach. "It's alright you didn't finish your food, if you want we can send some of the cake with you?"

She took a large knife and cut the cake slowly. I never was a fan of sugar foods, but Sango always made the best.

As Sango passed out the plates of cake, Rin screamed.

"Ah! What the?" Shooting up and sending her chair to fall backwards. "Oh, it...it's just a kitty."

She turned a deep red and pulled her chair back up.

"Yeah, this is Kilala." I scratched behind her ear, causing her to purr loudly.

Rin stuck her hand out to pet the animal herself. "Oh...she's so cute.."

Miroku and Sango were laughing their heads off from Rin's silly freak-out. When Sango finally calmed down, she picked up the cat.

"Come on Kilala, you can play with Rin when we are done dinner." The cat let out a soft '_mew'_ as she was carried away.

Rin was still breathing heavy, which caused me to start laughing.

After dinner it was reaching eight and I was running out of idea's to keep her occupied.

"You have a cute cat...when it's not jumping on tables!" She laughed, petting Kilala softly behind her ear.

I reached my hand across and patted her head. "Yeah, I guess."

Rin seemed to be entertained by every little thing that came into the room.

"School starts in a month...which one are you going to?" She asked after a few more minutes of petting Kilala went by.

"Um, I think it's Shikon High. Why?"

She clasped her hands together. "I'm going there too!. Do you think we'll be lucky enough to be in some of the same classes?"

I shrugged. "Dunno."

She held Kilala closer. "I hope so! It would be fun!"

She leaned closer towards me.

"Don't you think so, Kohaku?"

I felt the color rise in my face. She was in a inch reach of my face. I felt a little sweaty and numb in my legs. "Y-yeah Rin."

She blinked a few times and smiled.

I glanced at the clock. "Oh look at the time! We better take you home now!"

I got up and rushed over to get my sister. Leaving Rin confused on the couch.

"Uh, it'll be another ten minutes." I said, sitting back down next to her.

She sucked on her lower lip. "Did I scare you when I got to close? You just had to tell me so."

I shook my head. "No no. Just didn't want your dad to kick my as-butt. That's why I rushed to tell my sister." I decided to use better language around her for some odd reason.

* * *

**_Rin's POV_**

_Maybe I was to close to him...he turned a brick red when I did...and panicked..._

I smiled and stretched my arms up into the air. "Sorry, just stretching." I mumbled, trying not to embarrass myself to much.

He laughed a little. "It's alright."

"Er, not now! God Miroku you always are so hor-...Oh! Kohaku! Rin!. I thought you guys would be upstairs." Sango flustered, turning a bright pink from what she just said. I giggled, knowing what she was going to say. Poor Kohaku, his eyes were wide. He to must have known what she was going to say too.

"Er...you two ready to go now?"

I nodded and brushed off my skirt. "Yes. Bye Kilala!" I patted the cat once more as she mewed me a good-bye. Kohaku followed behind me, still a little red.

The car ride wasn't to talkative, but Kohaku and I carried on a low conversation and Sango asked a few questions.

"So did you enjoy your stay?"

I nodded. "Yes, it was nice meeting everyone personally and getting to see your home."

She laughed a little. "We'll we enjoy having you over. And Kohaku seems to enjoy your company."

I smiled. "Yes, I noticed he talked a lot."

Glancing over at Kohaku, I saw him sink into the seat.

"Here we are." Sango pulled into our drive way at two till Nine. "Kohaku, will you take Rin up?"

He nodded and got out of the car. "I should invite you and your family over for dinner one night at my house!" I exclaimed. "Maybe next weekend?"

He nodded. "Sure..."

We reached the front door.

"Well I'll see you...um, soon I guess." He got a little closer to me, almost as close as I was to him in the house.

"Yeah..."

I looked up at him, his eyes were full of a romantic look. He bent down and kissed my cheek.

"Good-night Rin." He waved good-bye and walked back to the car.

_Oh...d-did..he just kiss me?_

I placed my palm on the spot were his lips were pressed. And walked into my house, still a little shocked.

My mother greeted me. "Hey Rin, how was dinner?"

I still had a dazed look on my face. "Good...it was good...I'm going to bed now." I stumbled to my room and fell onto my bed.

_He kissed me..._

I clutched my blankets.

_I never thought he would ever show any emotion of love...especially towards me_.

It seemed to be so much at once. I liked him, I was sure of that. But then out of the blue...he kissed me.

_I wonder what made him do that? Just a few minutes ago he was dead scared to even be within an inch of my face..._

I squealed silently to myself and took out my Diary, this was something I needed to write about.

_Dear Diary,_

_This passage will be a tad short and quick, but the most exciting thing happened to me..._

_Kohaku kissed me!_

_It wasn't on the lips...just the cheek, but it was still amazing and it sent shivers through my body. I wonder why he did it though? I'll have to ask him, or call up Souten who knows all about love._

_Anyway... I'll write about dinner with his family later..I just needed to write this down._

_Rin._

I rolled back onto my back and closed my eyes, leaving my diary in the open beside me. Picturing the kiss a few more times. Every time it seemed to get more romantic. First going to the kiss he did give me, then moving to a breezy day in a field with his arms around my waist, our eyes closed our lips pursed tight together.

A knock at the door disturbed my daydream.

"Rin, I'm coming in." My dad's voice boomed as he pushed open my door.

"Oh hey Dad!" I shot up and covered the book with a pillow.

"Did you have a good time with that boy?"

I nodded. "He's really nice, so is his sister, and his sister's Fiancee'. I was wondering if we could have them over for dinner next weekend?"

Dad stared at my attempt to hide the Diary. "I see...well I'll talk it over with your Mother." He kissed my forehead and left the room. Leaving me to finish my little fantasy of Kohaku and I.

Waking up the next morning I heard my Mother and Dad arguing over something.

"She's sixteen! She is old enough to date! So what's wrong with a boy kissing her cheek?" Mom protested.

"I don't care! She's still not old enough in my opinion!"

"Come on, Sesshoumaru, when we were Sixteen, do you remember what _we_ did? Way worse stuff then what Kohaku did to her!"

"Yes, but we didn't know any better! Kagura all boys want is-"

"I know! But it was just a simple kiss!"

I covered my head with a pillow.

_They found out...they know what he did to me. And now because of that my parents were fighting_.

Mother's soft footsteps headed my way. She opened my door and sat next to my laying body.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that."

I pulled the pillow that was up against my body away.

"But I really like him...Dad can't stop me from seeing him, right?" Mom frowned.

"I dunno, but I what I want to know is why didn't you tell me?"

I closed my eyes and tried to hold back tears.

"Because I thought you'd tell dad and then you guys would start arguing about it! And I hate it when you fight!."

Mom picked up my body and held me close.

"I know your dad is a little overprotective. But he just doesn't want you to start doing things."

Tears seeped through her shirt.

"I'm not going to start doing _that_ if that's what he thinks."

She rubbed my back as she held me. "I know I know...but your dad just doesn't want you to get hurt."

I stopped crying and pulled away. "Can I still see him?"

She nodded. "I'll bend things with him...don't worry about it, alright?"

She planted a soft kiss on my forehead, where Dad did the previous night.

I stayed in my bed, not wanting to move, in fear that if I came out Dad would yell at me and tell me I couldn't ever see him again.

_They must have seen through the front window...how else would he have known?_

I pulled a blanket over my head.

_Even if he did ban me from seeing him, it wouldn't stop me!_

Mom came into my room once more, with a tray of food and old looking book.

"Here, I understand you don't want to come out...your dad's not here anyway." She set the food beside me.

"What's that." I pointed to the old book.

She placed it on my lap. It was purple and red with a Feather sketched on it baring the words. 'Kagura's Diary'

I looked at her.

"You can read that thing...maybe you'll understand some things. I'm not totally sure. But it talks about the day we met, our lives and when we adopted you..."

She ran my fingers through my hair and kissed my temple. "If you need to talk about anything, just let me know."

She walked out of the room.

_Why would she give it to me? She could just tell me...or is it that hard?_

I opened the book to it's first page, out fell and old photo of my parents.

My mom's arms were wrapped around my dad's neck, while his hands were around her waist, they were embracing each other tightly and on the back it read. '_To my Darling Kagura, I want you to look at this photo whenever we are separated. Sesshomaru.'_

I was confused for a moment.

_This must have been when mom was still living with Grandpa...and she wasn't allowed to see him?_

I stared at the photo a while longer before setting it down, as I began to read the first page.

* * *

Ugh, still really crappy...

Thanks for reading


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha.

Author's note- This chapter will most likely suck since it's a little rushed and random in ways, it only took forever to re-write, lol. (Oh this chapter will start out from shortly after Kohaku kissed Rin, in his POV, also a little bit of detailed cutting will be in this chapter...so you are warned!)

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

After I knew she was in her house, I slowly walked back to the car. I knew Sango saw us and when I opened the door I expected a loud squeal from her, going on about how she saw us kiss and things like that. Something I wish she wouldn't go on about. As I reached the car I took a deep breath, ready to take in her excitement.

_Three...two...one..._

I opened the car, only to be right.

"I saw you kissing Rin!" Sango squealed loudly.

I looked away from her. "Hm..."

She giggled loudly as she pulled out of the parking lot. "You like her! Admit it! You think she's so cute and you wanna go out with her! Am I right?"

Maybe if I said No, she'd shut up? "No..." I said, with dullness in my voice.

"What? Why not?"

"Dunno..."

Sango sighed and focused back on the road. "You're really ignorant sometimes Kohaku."

"Hm..." I closed my eyes and crossed my arms, wishing I was home right now.

"Oh come on Kohaku, don't be that way." She let out another sigh. "I called Kagome when you were dropping Rin off...she said that while Miroku and I were on our Honeymoon she'd take you..."

I groaned. I didn't like spending that much time with Kagome. She was nice, but she always treated me like I was five, ever since she took in a Foster Care child.

"Yay...I can't wait." More dullness filled my voice.

She shook her head. "I worry about you a lot Kohaku..."

We didn't speak much after that...or really at all. She would murmur a few things every now and then, but not something I would worry about.

Once we got home, I went to bed. I didn't say anything to Miroku and Sango. I just went to bed. For some reason I was once again depressed.

_Tomorrow..._

I kicked off my shoes and fell onto the bed.

_I'll do it again tomorrow, there's so much I need to release.

* * *

_

"Kohaku, I'll be out in the garden for a little while. I'm just going to water it." Sango yelled up the stairs, waking me up from my sleep.

_Why the heck is she telling me this?_

"If Kagome calls please let me know!" She yelled again. Shortly afterwards the sound of the front door shutting filled the quiet house.

When I knew everything was clear I reached under my mattress and pulled out a long cutting knife.

_If I do a quick one, I can clean up the mess before she comes back._

I sat on the floor and held out my right wrist. I was unsure why I was evening cutting again, it just felt so good to slice my wrist up and see the blood spill from me. Shrugging if off I placed the blade over my wrist, pressed hard and ran it up my arm.

_Better..._

Setting down the knife I reached for a cloth to cover up the wound. "Shit..." I held my bloody wrist and looked around for a cloth. Where was my cloth? The blood was now spilling down onto the floor. My head began to feel dizzy and my vision was a little black. The last thing I remembered was hearing the door open and falling to the ground.

"Kohaku? Oh Kohaku! God please wake up!"

I felt Sango's arms around my body, holding me close to her chest. Opening my eyes a little I saw Miroku bring in some water and a cloth, while talking on the phone.

"Suicide attempt! Yes, that's right!...Su-I-Cide! What part of that don't you get?" He walked out of the room, still yelling at the operator of the phone.

"Kohaku?" Sango screamed again.

I let out a little groan, letting her know I was alive.

"Kohaku!" She smiled, tears brimmed her eyes as she laid me on my bed and delt with my wound. "Why did you do it again? We spent all that money sending you to the Hospital and for what? So you can do it again?"

I rolled my eyes. "Scars are cool..." I lied, but it seemed like a pretty good, yet cheesy one. Sango bit her lip, trying to keep in her anger.

"Scars are cool? So you are going to risk your life fo a bunch of scars?"

I nodded. "Yeah..."

She let out a sigh and rested her head on my stomach. "You're a little ass..." She then laughed a little.

"I called the Hospital...we can take him in to get that fixed. For now, take his this and wrap it around his wrist to stop the bleeding." Miroku walked into the room, trying to avoid the pool of blood and handed Sango a long cloth.

Sango sat up and wrapped my wrist as carefully as she could. "Mm...I'll be right back..." Grabbing the phone Miroku left on my dresser she ran down the stairs. Miroku sat on the foot of my bed.

"I swear Kohaku..." He trailed off and shook his head. "Teens today..."

* * *

**_Rin'_s POV**

I closed the diary mom had given my earlier that morning. I only found out a few things that I wanted, but it satisfied me enough. Hearing the phone ring I got out of my bed. "Mom, phone." The phone kept ringing and ringing. Just as the fourth ring finished I picked up the phone.

"Hello, Sakaru residence." I said, not as bright and cheery as I usually would have.

"Rin? Is that you?" Sango's voice came frantically from the other end.

"Sango? Yes it's Rin. Is something the matter?"

"K-kohaku! He cut himself again...I found him unconscious on his bedroom floor laying there in a pool of blood..." She spoke fast and was letting out light hiccups as she tried to breath.

"I...is he alright?" My legs and arms felt numb.

"Yes, he's fine now. We're going to take him to the hospital in a few moments...can we pick you up after we drop him off? I have a feeling Kohaku would like to see you."

I looked into the sitting room. If I could find mom and ask her... "Yes, I'll be ready."

"Alright...we'll be there as soon as we can..." She hiccuped a few times before hanging up.

I dropped the phone, and let my body slip down onto the floor. The beeping of my call ending and I should hang up was the only noise as the phone swung on it's cord.

"But...we did all that therapy..." I let out a small scream and buried my hands into my face. My body felt numb and I wanted to stay in that position forever. I just wanted to help people recover from their problems, and it would have seemed that I made Kohaku's worse.

"Rin?"

Mom voice soon filled the room. She sounded confused, unsure why I was bawling my eyes out.

"Mom..." I stood up and hung up the phone.

"Kohaku. Am I right?"

I nodded. "He..." I made a motion of someone slashing their wrists open.

She pursed her lips together. "Rin..." She walked over to me and then wrapped her arms around me and pulled it into a warm hug. "It's alright...Can you see him soon?"

"As soon as Sango comes over to pick me up..."

She brushed some damp hair away from my eyes and smiled. "Well you better get ready..."

More tears brimmed my eyes as I walked back to my room.

_We did all that therapy. He seemed so happy to go back to his sister!_

I rubbed my eyes.

_Unless he was only using good behavior to get out!_

I frowned. "So he was pretending to be cured and act as though I made some effect on him?...Low..." Then again, maybe that wasn't the reason he did it?

Shortly around three, Sango's car pulled into the driveway.

"Sango's here...mom." I slipped into my shoes and was ready to answer the door. Peering outside through the window, I saw Sango still had Kohaku's blood on her pants, shirt, and hands. Just as she reached her hand out to ring the door bell I opened it. "Hello Sango."

She beamed a small smile at me.

"Hey Rin." Mom came up behind me.

"Is there a certain time you want her back?" Sango asked, placing her hands behind her back.

Mom smiled. "No, whenever you feel it's necessary to drop her off..."

Sango nodded a few times. "Alright...bye." I smiled at my mom one last time before shutting the door.

We were about half way to the Hospital before either of us spoke.

"You have a lot of blood on you..." I pointed out.

Sango rubbed her face, most likely unaware that she smeared blood all over her face. "Yes...I was in such a hurry to get him to the Hospital I forgot about the mess..."

"Will he bet out soon?"

She smiled. "Yeah...just a few stitches..should do it..."

I smiled back at her. "You have a really nice brother. I'm sure in time he'll stop this silly problem..."

_Cute Rin, real cute. And you were planning on starving yourself this morning now weren't you?_

Sango let out a small laugh. "Yes, I'm sure in time..."

When we arrived at the Hospital, Miroku was sitting on a bench near the fountain. He looked tired as though he hadn't slept in days.

"Miroku. Which room is Kohaku's?"

He looked up at his Fiancee'. "Room 8 C."

Sango kissed Miroku's cheek, took my hand and took me to the elevator.

"How many times has Kohaku been in the Hospital anyway?"

Sango pressed the button for the Third floor. "Hm...five-six times...not as bad as it could be, right?"

Once we reached his Hospital room, I didn't hesitate. Pushing open the door I yelled out his name and rushed over to his side. Sango followed shortly behind me.

His wrist was bandaged up and an IV was running through the other. "Rin...?"

I shook my head furiously and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

He laughed a little. "Like shi...crap..."

Sango sat on the other side of the bed. Brushing some of her brothers hair out of the way. "Kohaku if you keep this up, there isn't going to be any money for the wedding..." She tried to make the comment a little funny by laughing to it.

I couldn't stop staring at his wrists though.

_Does an IV hurt? Kohaku must be used to them. What about cutting? I wonder if that hurts a lot. Do you grow into it?_

So many questions about Suicide raced through my head. It was something I knew I was never going to attempt, yet I wondered so much about it.

A few moments of silence slipped by before Sango stood up and smoothed out her stained shirt. "Um...this room is a little dull. I'm going to go buy some flowers..." She quickly left the room, leaving me in my silence and worries over Kohaku.

"Why did you do it again? After all that therapy and time we shared together, you throw it all away?"

At first he looked at me with confusion, like he didn't know what I was talking about.

"I don't know, I just felt like it."

I was becoming more and more furious with him for every second he didn't tell me the truth.

"So you're going to waste your life away? Even though you have your sister who loves you, her Fiancee' and me?"

I pursed my lips together. Still hoping he'd tell me the truth _why_ he did it again.

"Rin...people do things without a reason. Some kill, others steal, I...cut." He seemed so calm and collect about this, it was driving me wild.

"So that's your reason? Because you don't have one? You risk dying when you have so much ahead and in-store for you?" This topic was hard to comprehend, everyone has a reason for doing what they do. "Kohaku, please just stop? Make your sister go a day without worrying what she'll do if you die." I was now standing out of my chair and towering over him. "When you kissed me, did you feel any reason that you should stop? The feeling of love, happiness, anything." My face was hot now, and it was gleaming a bright red.

"I was just being polite." He smiled at me. "And I think you need to calm down a little..."

I sat back down in the chair, my fists curled up tight that my knuckles where near white.

"I'm not going to argue about this with you anymore Kohaku..." My voice stood strong. "...if you want, I will ask Sango or Miroku to take me home..."

He smiled and shook his head. "You can stay. I just think you should calm down a bit."

Sango arrived back at the room a few minutes later. Neither one of us said anything for a long time.

"Sango...do you know when Kohaku will be released." Sango nodded her head slightly. "Yeah, I think they let him out tomorrow...why."

_Why did I want to know? I should make up an excuse instead of "Just wondering" how about..._

"Oh I was just curious."

_Close enough..._

More moments slipped by and no one said a word. Kohaku's eyes would shift from his sister to me, then back. Sango and I had our eyes fixed on Kohaku, making sure nothing went wrong.

It was now seven at night, and my stomach was starving for some food. "Sango...um, I was wondering if you could take me home."

She nodded. "Just let me tell Miroku where I'll be going." She rushed out of the room to find her Fiancee'.

"Leaving so soon? But I thought you liked it in this Hospital." Kohaku laughed.

"Hm...no, I'm really hungry, sleepy..." I made sure I had anything and walked to the door. "You better get well soon...then I can have you come over for dinner..." I waved good-bye and opened the door.

"You know, when I kissed you I did feel something, I felt...happy. Like I had no reason for suicide."

I quickly turned around. "What did you say?"

He shrugged.

I smiled and walked out of the room.

_When I kissed you I did feel something, I felt...happy. Like I had no reason for Suicide._

That line seemed to race through my head the whole way home.

_Do I dare tell Sango what he told me? It would make her happy to know her brother didn't have those thoughts...but would Kohaku want her to know?_

"Rin, you alright?" Sango pulled into the driveway of our house. "You look all fidgety..."

I took a deep breath and turned to her.

"Sango...Kohaku told me in the room, just after you went to find Miroku...that..When he kissed me. He felt...happy. Like he had no reason for Suicide."

* * *

Author's notes - There, I finally re-wrote chapter six...only took me forever. I kept putting it off...

Thank you for reading.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha or "Moments" Those belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Ayumi Hamasaki

Author's note- Alright, here's the re-written chapter seven. I actually took a lot more out then usual...

* * *

**_From previous chapter_**

I was expecting Sango to squeal loudly and wrap her arms around my body into a huge bone-crushing hug, and was surprised she didn't.

"Sango? " I leaned a bit closer to her, she wasn't pale or in a state of shock. "Sango?" I called out her name again, this time I received a reply.

She shook her head out of possession and smiled. "I see...well...I'll act as though I don't know...Thank you for telling me."

I smiled. "Anytime.."

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

Shortly after Rin left, a young nurse walked into the room. "Hello! I'm here to check your IV and make sure everything is hooked up correctly."

I sat up and laid out my wrist. I knew at one point she would have to look at it She was quick about her work and didn't seem to notice I was even there.

"Alright. Everything seems to be in order here..." She read down a chart full of information about me and skimmed through the IV one last time. "I'll be back with your dinner and medication soon." Before I could react to the word _Medication_ she left.

_Sango never told me I would or had to take Medication. _

Shortly afterwards the nurse brought in a medium dinner tray and sat it down on my lap. She pointed to the medication and began explaining them. I didn't really pay attention. I just nodded me head and looked a little scared of taking them before she'd leave and I'd throw them away.

"...and I won't leave until you finish them. Doctor's orders!"

I smacked myself mentally. I didn't know _when_ to take these. It was probably after dinner.

Unsure, I picked up my meal and began eating it. The nurse smiled when I did, meaning I must have been right. It was annoying me to have her right next to be, so I ate quickly.

"Which pill do I take first again?" I stared at the four pills on my palm.

"Red, then the blue, then the red and orange and finally...the white one."

I sighed as one by one I took a sip of water and placed a pill in my mouth.

"Good. When your parents take out of the Hospital tomorrow I'll be sure they know when you take the Medication!" She patted my head and walked out of the room.

_But that's the thing...my parents can't take me out of the Hospital..._

I rolled over on my side and decided to get some rest. One of the pills must be to help me get some sleep, since I began a bit drowsier every minute.

Close to my short eight hour sleep a loud entrance at the door awoke me.

"Hey Kohaku! You'll never believe _what_ survived the crash!"

I didn't roll over, I just let out a small groan.

"The Police were even nice enough to give me Double Prints!"

My eyes were wide open now. I knew what he was talking about, the camera from before.

"Most of them are Sango...man...she's so hot..."

I rolled over now, hoping that I could take the two photo's of Rin and I away. Miroku showed me the prints. Sango cooking, Sango cleaning, watching tv, reading, petting Kilala, walking, driving her car and things similar to that.

"Do you think you have enough photo's of her yet?"

Miroku was gawking at the prints, mumbling to himself about how attractive she was in this pose or that.

I let out a small cough, letting him know I was still here.

"Oh sorry...here we go. The pictures of you and Rin! I must say I like the first one more." He shoved the first photo of us in front of my face.

I actually thought it was rather well..._cute_. Our arms wrapped around each other tightly and her sadden face, making it seem like it was the end of the world.

"Uh-huh...where is the next?"

Miroku showed me the second photo. I had to agree, this one wasn't as good. Her hands were rubbing her eyes and I had a drugged out look on my face.

"Hm...I like this one more." It was a lie, but thankfully he didn't catch on.

Miroku shook his head and decided a new topic would be better.

"Well...are you excited to go back to school?"

I looked at him with eyes of disbelief. "No. If Sango wasn't always so busy I would ask her to Homeschool me!"

Miroku placed the photo's back in it's package and smiled. "But Kohaku, why wouldn't you want to go to school! All those attractive young girls in those _mini skirts_! It's a good time to be young."

_Yeah, if you're a Horny doctor who might get his licence taken away because of that._

"And what if Rin goes to that same school? Neh Kohaku, then what will you think?"

I felt my face go a tad pale. Rin in a mini?

"Well Kohaku, then what will you think?"

I shook my head. "Uh..."

Miroku let out a small smirk. "If you want, I could give you some good tips?" He leaned a bit closer, whispering it in my ear, just in case Sango was nearby.

"And if you want. I'll tell Sango and she'll smack you upside the head." I whispered back.

"I'd be fine with that. She's at least touching me!" His smirk grew larger as he spoke.

I felt the medication really kicking now. I was finding it impossible to stay up and argue with Miroku. Letting out a soft yawn I laid back down and closed my eyes. I gave him a motion that I wanted to go to sleep now and rolled over.

Thankfully he got the hint I was tired and left.

* * *

_**A few weeks later in Rin's POV  
**__**  
**Dear Diary, _

_It's been a few weeks after Kohaku last hurt himself. I wonder what made him stop all of a sudden? Maybe it was Sango's comment about having little money for the wedding if he kept the whole thing up? Yes, that would have to be it. _

_Why haven't I posted anything about him coming over for dinner you ask?_

_Well...Dad found out I went to see Kohaku in the Hospital and wasn't exactally please with me. So I had to wait... He said the Saturday before school started we could invite him over! I'm really excited about it, since the Dinner is tonight. I've already showered and wearing some of my best clothing. I'm not sure if I should add make-up though..._

_My weight is now stuck at 115lbs, I think dad is catching on as well..._

_When dad took me shopping last week, I hadn't eaten anything for such a long time I felt faint and almost fell on the floor. I told dad it was lack of sleep...I don't think he believed me though...but this diet has it's benefit, I've lost ten pounds because of it. I know I could lose more with a proper diet and exercise...but those take time...which is rather scarce for me, ever since I started going back to work..._

_I also have some quick news on mom and Aunt Kikyou's pregnancy._

_Well Aunt Kikyou called me up the other day and told me the babies (Yes! She's having twins!) Are most likely to be born around the end of September or early October! Mom is starting to get a little larger. She is only one month but her stomach is already pretty big. What if she is having more then one child as well? Only eight more months until I find out...well I better go, Kohaku and the others are going to be here soon. _

_That's all for now, _

_Rin._

Finally satisfied with my long journal entry, I shoved the Diary back under my mattress. I moved over to my make-up table. I never did visit it much anymore

_Maybe a hint of blush. I don't want to look to fancy..._

The outfit I wore wouldn't look good with to much make-up either. It was a simple pair of jeans with a navy blue button up top. Yes, to much make-up...or let alone any would look stupid.

I walked to the door, waiting for when he'd ring the door bell and enter my house. I didn't have to wait long, only a short minute or two before I heard footsteps and a ding at my door. Without any second thoughts I opened the door. "Hello!" I gave him a sweet smile as I moved out of the way to let the guests in.

Mom quickly rushed to greet them as well, drying her hands off with a dishtowel, but dad on the other hand stood in the kitchen way, glaring at Kohaku as though he was a murder. "Dad, this is Miroku, Sango, and...Kohaku." I pointed to each person as I said their name allowed. Dad didn't say anything. His eyes were still glaring at Kohaku.

"Um, Rin dinner won't be ready for a few more minutes. Why don't you show Kohaku around?" Mom was already sitting down Miroku and Sango, starting a wonderful conversation about the schooling here.

"There aren't many rooms in my house, so the tour will be quick!" I smiled, grabbing his hand and dragging him down the Hall. It was true, though my house was big, it still didn't have many rooms.

"Well...here is our computer room. My parent's study. The bathroom, oh here is the new babies room! A-."

Once I said "_New Babies_" Kohaku interrupted me.

"A new baby?"

I nodded. "Yes. I'm really excited!"

He looked around the half painted room. "I thought you said your mom couldn't have kids."

I smiled. "Well, somehow she was able to have children! Lucky how that is huh?"

He shrugged and moved on. "I guess. I just hope one day Sango doesn't come up to me saying she's going to have a baby...or adopt one either."

The smile on my face faded at that comment. "Hm...well here is my parents room...we don't need to go in there..and here the Nursery...and the play room. We had to get rid of a lot of guest and extra rooms just so the baby could have more space!" He didn't reply to me this time. He just looked around the house.

"Where's your room?" He walked over to the next door we hadn't stopped by and began opening the door, luckily I was able to get there and shut it back before he could take a look.

"You wouldn't want to go in there...so _girly_."

He laughed. "You've been inside my depressing room, so why can't I go inside your girly room?"

I bit on my lip. He had such a good point and if I said something like "_It's a mess._" He'd just say it was ok, and walk in anyway.

"Fine...go on ahead." I decided to satisfy him, he _was_ the guest and I did want to be polite.

When he opened the door and entered, his eyes were rather large as they raced around the room.

"Girly, huh?"

He nodded. "A little..."

It wasn't that girly though. Not everything was pink or purple with princess crowns or things like that bearing "_Drama Queen"_ or_ "Princess_" on them. No, it was better then what it could have been. Everything was a light blue...maybe a bit to light for Kohaku's liking though. I shrugged. The most girlish things I probably did have was my CD collection, which thankfully he hadn't spotted yet. My make-up dresser, and the many posters that covered the wall of my favorite actors and bands.

"Oh you like Ayumi Hamasaki as well?" He stared at the poster I had of her for the longest time.

"Yes, I'm a big fan. One day mom and dad even let me go to one of her concerts...well..I had to bring my friend Kagome...but still."

_Hm...Ayumi wasn't exactly what I wanted to talk about with him...but..he is a boy...and she's a pretty pop-star...bad mix..._

"Do you have any of her CD's?" He moved to my CD player and began flipping through my large collection.

"Oh you like BoA and Do As Infinity as well?"

I nodded. "Yeah..." I looked at his rummaging, I ordered all my CD's in Alphabetical order, it must be why he didn't find the one he wanted. "Here, I'll help...is there a certain one you want?"

He shook his head. "No, I was just looking."

"What's your favorite song done by her?" I asked, ready to flip out that track and play it for him. "Hm...Momentshas been a favorite of mine for a while." I smiled and in no time I had the CD out and pressed play on the track.

"_Kokoro ga kogatsuite, vakeru nioi ga shita. Sore wa yume no owari, subete no hajimari..._"

I had no idea Kohaku was into this type of Ayumi's music, his eyes looked highly passionate with the song as if she was a Siren.

"_Hana no you ni hakanai no nara. Kimi no moto de sakihokoru deshou soshite egao mitodoketa ato, sotto hitori chitteyuku deshou..._"

The song had perfect ending with dinner. Mom had called us a minute or so after it ended.

"Rin, Kohaku. Dinner's ready."

When we arrived at the table, Miroku and Sango were already sitting down. Mom was bringing fresh dinner rolls to the table and dad was fixing up some drinks. Kohaku took a chair next to Miroku, while I took the empty one beside him.

The begging of dinner was quiet until Mother began talking to Sango.

"So when you get married to Miroku...do you plan on having any children?"

Sango shook her head. "Well...after Kohaku told us that Rin was adopted, I decided that it would be fun to adopt one as well!"

I heard Kohaku cussing under his breath, obviously the idea of him being an Uncle at the age of sixteen wasn't on his list of things.

"Um, Rin are you gonna eat anything? You haven't touched your food." Kohaku pointed out after he swallowed his food he recently placed in his mouth.

_It's so tempting...but all those unwanted calories and carbs...there is another way to get rid of them..._

"Rin? Are you gonna eat?" He asked me again, this time poking my arm.

"Er, yes. Sorry I was distracted..." Reluctantly I picked up my chopsticks and grabbed the noodles from my bowl and ate them. They were a little cold from sitting for so long, making me wish I ate them sooner.

Shortly after dinner was finished, Mother cleared the table and said Kohaku and I could do whatever until it was time to leave, treating us like four-year-olds at a big fancy dinner gathering.

"Is there anything you want to do while we wait?" I wanted him to feel at home, though my large home and luxury items weren't helping.

"Hm...just go back to your room and wait?" He didn't even wait for my answer, he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked to my room. Once again, when he arrived back he stared at that Ayumi poster.

_Just because she's so beautiful and has a perfect singing voice..._

I sat on my bed, crossing my arms and glaring at her, envying everything about her.

_If I was that pretty boys would like me..._

Odd, I had never envied her before, and now here I was, wishing I could be the woman in the poster Kohaku was gawking at.

"I can see why boys like her..." I snorted, looking away.

"Because she's pretty?" Kohaku broke his gaze and looked at me for a change.

I laughed. "Yes. It's probably the only reason why boys go to her concerts and buy her CD's..."

He knew I was jealous and laughed at it. "I like her music. Sure, she's really pretty...but not so in my taste of looks."

I let out a small laugh, only a small laugh. Nothing more.

I wanted to talk about something besides Ayumi, and the only thing I could think about was why he stopped cutting all of a sudden.

"So Kohaku...why did you stop cutting all of a sudden? It obviously wasn't the therapy..." I scooted over a bit, making more room for him so he could sit on the bed.

"Um...because..."

I knew he was making up a lie as we went. Otherwise there wouldn't be so many pauses.

"...Sango told me...she'd run out of money from her Wedding Savings."

"I see...how sweet that you'd stop trying to kill yourself so your sister can get married." He gave a weak smile and looked around my room some more.

More awkward silence came, and it irritated me so much.

"I know you live far...but do you want to ride the bus with me for school?"

It came out of no where. Kohaku asked me if I wanted to go to school with him, something _I_ would ask _him_.

"Sure...is there a certain place you'd like to meet?" I was still stunned when I replied.

"Um...there is a bus sation in the middle between our homes...we could have our guardians drop us off there and right the seven forty bus to school together?"

He was blushing, actually blushing when he spoke to me. I was even more stunned. "Sure! It'll be so fun."

* * *

Author's notes - Yes, I kept the same crappy ending...but I don't feel like writing a new one out.

(And no offence to Ayumi. I'm a huge fan of Ayumi and I apologize if I come off a little rude to here in this story.)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha

Author's note- I am sorry about cutting it off like that in the pervious chapter. I pulled an all nighter to write it, and then when I finally had the energy I posted it. (Also, I sorta got the idea of Rin and Kohaku's school uniform from the Inuyasha Game, The secret of the cursed mask...I really couldn't think of a design to put them in.) I also kept this chapter still only in his POV. I hate this chapter with a passion and was dead on idea's to think of anything for it.

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

I couldn't believe we had to wear such a ugly school uniform. It wasn't like Sango and Miroku's old uniforms, which I'd much rather have. Mine was a pair of brown pants, a white button up shirt that would go under my ugly light brown jacket with our school logo on it. It _was_ the ugliest thing I had ever seen in my life, though Sango thought I looked "Absolutely handsome," and went on and on about how the girls will crawl over me because of it.

"Kohaku, are you ready yet?" Sango called for me, holding her car keys impatiently.

"Yeah...I am, give me a few seconds." I finished brushing my hair and pulling it into it's tie like I always did for the past ten years of my life.

"Kohaku! You don't want to keep Rin waiting!" Sango yelled, this time jingling her car keys as she waited.

_I just had to ask her, didn't I_?

"Ready!" I called out, shoving my text books into my bag. Storming down the stairs, I raced to the front door, hoping we could leave before Miroku caught me and gave me a short lecture.

Thankfully we were able to leave without him even noticing it.

I was hoping this car ride would be quiet and peaceful, but no. Sango went on and on about not getting into fights and pay attention to the teacher. Stupid things like that.

"And _please_ when the teacher calls on you, _reply_ to them! I don't want to go to the principals office and talk about your behavior again!"

I was tempted to turn on the stereo to drown her out, but she'd turn it back off and continue blabbing.

"And be polite to Rin and any other girl you see, don't make rude comments or say anything about their bodies. Rin and the others are at an age when weight and looks is all what matter..."

_Why are girls so paranoid about their weight anyway? I think she looks fine the way she is now and one word about her body could make her go on a dumb ass diet? And I know how Rin would take that..._

"Kohaku! Pay attention!" Sango snapped her fingers.

I looked her, pretending to pay attention.

"As I was saying. Try not to get in any fights this year, you were almost suspended because one and I don't want that to happen again!"

I nodded, acting as though this was serious.

She smiled back. "Good. I'm done."

_Thank god, her lessons and lectures drown on and on..._

The next couple of minutes in the drive was silent, which I knew I should enjoy. Seeing as I wasn't going to get any until I came home. Though I didn't get much rest, my mind went straight back to what Sango said about girls and their bodies.

_Would Rin actually believe it if another girl or boy said she was over-weight? She seems vulnerable enough to do it...but what kind of diet would she go on?_

My thoughts were interrupted by Sango calling out.

"We're here!"

I opened my eyes, seeing Rin. Standing there, leaning against a tower that held up the roof of the bus sation. Her uniform was similar to mine, the same ugly brown, yet this looked good on her. The mini skirt that just went above her knees was blowing in the slow wind. Her raven hair moving with it, and her jacket ruffled a little, seeing as her hands and book-bag were on top of it.

"Oh she's so pretty." Sango exclaimed, handing me a envelope.

"What's this for?" I shook out of my possessive glance.

"The photos, you didn't bring them on Saturday, so you can give them to her at school." She tucked the envelope in my bag and gave me a small push. "Go on, your bus leaves in five minutes."

I couldn't complain, she had pushed me out of the car in a fit of giggles before driving off.

"Kohaku! Hey!" Rin's voice was loud and I could hear her footsteps chasing towards me.

"Oh, hey Rin..." I wasn't completely out of my daze, the image of her standing against the tower was still in my mind.

"Are you ready? The bus is leaving soon...if we get on now we can get a good seat." She grabbed my hand and dragged me into our bus.

"I always like sitting by the door." She chirped as she sat me down next to the window.

_Now I remembered why I regretted doing this...her constant talking..._

Rin spoke about her mom's pregnancy the entire time, even when the other students began arriving on she managed to fit a quick hello in between. I felt weird, seeing as a group of boys were together, going on about the 'Hot babes in school', while the girls were giggling on about the latest Gacket CD. No were on the bus did I see a boy and a girl together, making me feel uncomfortable.

_Shit...we look like a couple..._

"Kohaku, what's this?"

I glanced down at her. She was pointing to the envelope in my bag, that was barely sticking out. I pulled it out.

"I forgot to give this to you on Saturday..." Handing her the envelope she looked confused.

A smile crossed her face when she realized that they were the Pictures. "I like the first one more." She giggled, holding it out, smiling broadly at it.

"That's what everyone says." I mumbled.

"I think they're cute..." She placed the photo back were it belonged and gently stuck it into her bag. I looked out the window, wondering if she had noticed we were the only boy and girl sitting together.

"Rin! Who's your boyfriend?" We both turned around at this comment, blushing like mad.

Two girls were smiling at us and another with a content look on her face, the first had long black braided hair and big eyes, if weren't for the earrings I might have called her a boy. The second girl was a little shy looking, she had light brown hair the just barely passed her shoulders. And the third girl had dark black hair and pale skin, she didn't give any look of emotion, freaking me out a bit.

"B-boyfriend? No! This is Kohaku, I was his consular at the Hospital during the summer." Rin mumbled, looking away.

"I see...I'm Souten!" The first girl said. "And that's Shiori and Kanna!." She pointed to her friends when their name was called.

Shiori eyed me. "Are you sure he's not your boyfriend? We saw that photo of the two of you hugging in your hands."

Kanna let out a mere nod.

"Yes, I'm sure!"

Souten and Shiori let out small giggles.

"And where are your boyfriends?" Rin looked around. "Over there, at the end of the bus." Kanna finally spoke, raising her pale hand and pointing at three boys laughing.

_They're all dating and not sitting together?_

I turned back around, hoping that we'd be at school soon or something that would avoid them talking about girly stuff.

Shortly after they went on about something, Rin turned back around. "I'm sorry about that. It's been three months since I last saw them."

I looked out the window. "It's okay."

She leaned a bit closer to me. "Are any of your friends going to this school?"

I shook my head. "No."

She bit on her lip. "Where are they going?."

What would be my reply? I had friends, but that was all before the accident... "They live in a different city, and I don't keep in touch with them." I faced her this time.

"Why don't you stay in touch? I'm sure they miss you."

I let out a small laugh and shook my head. "Beca-"

"Arriving at the Hikari Gakkou!"

The bus driver called, saving me from my excuse of why I didn't keep in touch.

Rin excitedly stood up, brushing down her skirt and fixing her hair. "Do I look good? I want to make a nice impression for my first day!"

I raised an eyebrow at her and shook my head. "You look fine."

She ran her fingers through her hair a few more times. "Alright."

I hardly paid attention in class. All we did was introduce ourselves, go over what we will be learning this year and spent a few minutes talking to other students. I thought I was going to die if one more girl came up to me giggling. Thankfully the girls left for a while when Rin's friends, boyfriends came over to me.

"You're dating Rin, right?"

They had my attention. "No. Why?"

I examined them one by one. The first had long hair like Shiori, though his hair was a hint darker and his eyes seemed to have an evil bad boy look. The second, like Rin, had dark black hair only much shorter. The third on the other hand you could see a mile away. His long hair was bright orange and his eyes were a sea-green.

"Oh...no reason. We just thought it was weird that you two were sitting together and things like that." The boy with light brown hair said, smirking a little.

"I only went with her because..." They had me. I _was_ the one who asked her. "...because...it's a way of thanking her when she did some Therapy with me." It wasn't the best lie, but it would work.

"Therapy? What the hell were you in Therapy for?" The boy with brown hair continued.

I rolled my eyes, rolled up my sleeve and showed them my wrist. The three boys stared at my many scars before walking away without any other words.

_At least it drove them off..._

I was hoping that no more people would bother me, though I didn't get my way. Rin came bouncing over to me, going on about her new friends and how excited she was.

"...and you might like Koharu! She's really pretty, nice, and has freckles like you!" Rin gave pointed to the girl.

I didn't bother shifting my eyes to the girl, I'd have the whole year with her.

After the bell rang for Lunch and we bowed out, Rin went on about the new people. "...have you met Hakudoushi, Souta, and Shippou yet? I'm sure you have. I think I saw them talking to you in class." Did she ever shut up? Non-stop talking, it was driving me nuts.

When we arrived in the Cafeteria I noticed she didn't grab a tray.

"Are you going to eat?" I asked, picking up my own tray, noticing she seemed to be avoiding to school lunch.

"Oh...no...maybe a beverage but I had a huge breakfast!"

I raised an eyebrow at her. She was horrible at lying. "Hm...fine." I finished gathering my select food and sat down at a far table, only to hear her talk more.

"I hope we start our lessons soon. Sure I enjoy meeting new students, but I want to start learning. I forgot to ask you, what do you have for extras?" She pulled out her class listening and scanned it. "I have Drama...isn't that exciting? I might be able to do plays!"

_We even have drama together? It's like Sango went behind my back, called Rin and made sure we had every class with each other._

"So what's your extra Kohaku?" She leaned closer, hoping I would say it soon.

"Drama."

She squealed. "Are you serious? That's great! We have every class together! It's a shame we don't start it until a few weeks after school starts!"

I looked away. "Yeah...wouldn't you know."

She stopped her squeals and smiled.

_Thank god she's shut up now..._

I quickly finished my meal. Wanting nothing more then this day to end.

* * *

I was relieved to hear the bell rang. I didn't want anymore giggling girls come up to me and get into my personal life. It was amazing I let Rin in during my Therapy.

Bowing out, I quickly rushed out of the room. Hoping I could take the first bus out of here home with Rin at my heels.

"So did you meet any new people you want to make friends with?" She held tightly onto the strap of her book-bag.

"No." I shoved my hands into the pockets in my pants.

"No? I would have least figured you'd make friends with Hakudoushi, Shippou, and Souta!"

I shook my head. "Nope."

Rin let out a tiny gasp. "I see, you made friends with some of the girls!. I bet it was Koharu, or Satsuki!" I

let out a small laugh. "Hell no."

She frowned. "Well...I'm your friend, right?"

My mind stopped for a minute. What do I say? Yes? No? Not sure? I did have mood-swings on how I felt about her, depending on what she was doing but I couldn't tell her that. Some days I figured to be a close friend and didn't want to lose her, others I just wished we had never met.

"Of course you are," was my reply. It seemed to work since she grabbed onto my arm and hugged it.

"I figured I was, why else would we spend so much time on the phone together?"

I felt a tiny blush appear.

_A blush? Why the hell are you blushing? You don't like- _

_...Or do you? She is very pretty...and kind... _

_-but to preppy for my likings! _

_-Who cares if she's preppy? You can grow to love it, can't you?_

My mind argued with me, determining what I truly though about Rin.

The bus drive was a bit quieter from our first, we didn't start talking until we were fifteen minutes away from the station. And shockingly _I_ was the one who started the conversation.

"So...since your Mom is having a baby, what do you hope it is?" I didn't look at her when I spoke, my eyes were still fixed on the outside.

"Hm...I want it to be a boy."

"Why a boy?"

She smiled. "I don't know. I just think a little brother will be cute!"

"Well what about you? Didn't your sister say that after she was married she wanted to adopt? What do you want?"

I thought for a moment. I didn't want a girl- There would be more rules around the house. And a boy? Hm...

"A boy."

She giggled. "And why is that?"

"I dunno...if she adopted a girl I think there would be more rules in the house."

She blinked, confused at my reply. "More rules? Like that?"

I shrugged. "I dunno...I have a good excuse but it be to personal for your liking."

I figured she knew what I meant, seeing as though she pursed her lips together and blushed.

"Arriving at the Central Tokyo Bus Station."

Once the doors were open we both rushed out to be greeted by Sango and her Dad, they were talking about the upcoming Wedding.

"...and I know Kohaku would just _love_ it if Rin was able to attend!"

Her Dad eyed us walking closer. "I see...well when you have a proper date give us a call and we'll arrange things."

We were a few feet away before he called for his daughter.

"Ready to go, Rin?." She nodded.

"Uh-huh. I'll see you tomorrow Kohaku!." She waved good-bye and headed off in the other direction, while Sango and I headed back to our car.

"So...how was your first day?"

I shrugged. "It was okay. All we did in every class was go over what we were going to learn and spent some time getting to know the other students."

Sango smiled. "So I guess you made new friends?"

I shook my head. "Nope...but Rin thinks I made friends with her friends, boyfriends."

She let out a little laugh. "I guess it's a start."

* * *

Author's notes - I really hate this chapter... 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha or any other thing in this story. (Just the crappy plot.)

Author's notes - Alright, only two more chapters to write and I'll be done re-writting it all.

**_

* * *

A few weeks later in Rin's POV_**

_Dear Diary,_

_Well it's been a month and a half since I have written in you and since Kohaku and I started school. He's doing quite well on making friends actually. After we get off the bus and arrive at the school he normally leaves (With a good-bye) and hangs out with Hakudoushi, Souta, and Shippou. I'm happy that he's made friends, but I can't help to feel a little jealous. Seeing as Kohaku and I would always hang around together...Don't get me wrong. I want him to make friends...I just want him to still hang around with me as much as he does with the guys... _

_On other news:_

_Aunt Kikyou and Uncle Inuyasha are on their way right now to visit. I finally get to see the Babies, it's only been a month since they were born. They're also brining Kagome with them! So I'll have someone to talk to while the adults chat about...whatever it is they talk about. Maybe Kagome can help me with my Kohaku problem..._

_  
And two weeks from yesterday Sango and Miroku are getting married! I'm really excited about it, I'm even amazed Dad said it was alright for me to go. Mother is planning on buying me a new dress! (Speaking of Mother; She's doing wonderful with the pregnancy!) Sango even asked me to be the Flower girl...odd...I thought that job was for younger children. Oh well, it's still going to be fun. I wonder if Kohaku will ask me to- Wait! Why am I even wondering if Kohaku would want to dance with me? I've noticed Koharu is hanging around Kohaku a lot...maybe they are going out and he's not te- Aiee, why do I keep mentioning Kohaku?...Oh there I go again... _

_I better go before I mention him anymore..._

_Rin_

I shook my head as I finished my passage. Why was I always mentioning Kohaku in my journal entries these days? I ignored it and headed to the living room, surprised to see them entering the door already. I didn't even hear the doorbell ring.

"Rin! Come look at the Babies, they're so adorable!" Mom called, ushering me to Aunt Kikyou and Kagome.

I rushed over to the two tiny bundles, one in Aunt Kikyou's arms and another in Kagome's.

"Oh...they're so adorable. You're right mom." I let a huge smile cross my face as I was lost in the cute-ness of the babies.

"What are their names?" Mom asked, taking the one in Aunt Kikyou's arms.

"The one you're holding is Inumaru. And the one Kagome has is named Kira." Mom kissed the Inumaru's forehead and played with his tiny hands, going on to Kikyou about how she couldn't wait to have her own.

Kagome smiled at me. "Do you want to hold her?" She held Kira out a bit.

"Oh...I don't know..." I wasn't sure how to hold a baby. I never had a sibling and in the Orphanage all the younger ones were taken care of by Nurses.

"Come on Rin. Kagura is having a baby soon, so you may as well learn now!" I reluctantly stretched out my arms, waiting for Kagome to hand the child to me. As she placed Kira in my arms it seemed like a bag of bricks was being placed on me instead.

I held her tight in my arms, smiling at her. She wasn't so heavy once I was use to it. "You'll make a great Big Sister!" Kikyou chirped, taking her baby boy back.

"Thank you..." The babies weight was becoming impossible for me to hold. "...c-can you take her back? She's starting to get a little heavy." I handed Kira to mom, rubbing my sore arms.

As soon as Kira was taken back mom and Kikyou started talking about the latest Baby items and what shows and music would be appropriate for them.

Since Uncle Inuyasha and Dad sat beside their wives, glaring at each other, I figured now would be my chance to take Kagome. Thankfully, she asked me if we wanted to go to my room. I nodded, and rushed to the room with her at my heels.

"So, what's up Rin?" Kagome smiled, sitting down at my bed and eyeing the new posters I had placed up.

"Oh...nothing really just a little...problem." How would I explain this one? Knowing her, she'd start guessing that Kohaku and I are _dating_ and that I was just having some regular teenage problems.

"Problem? Like what?" She tilted her head to the side, thankfully not saying "_A boy problem?_"

I sighed at sat beside her.

"Well I have this friend...and- Well I don't mean to sound rude or jealous- but ever since he started going to school and I've been ushering him to make new friends...he's sorta...not talking to me as much." I sighed and remembered that Kohaku _did_ still pay a lot of time with me. "I mean we still ride the bus together, and he'll eat lunch with me, and do projects with me when we do partners of two...but other then that..."

Kagome blinked her eyes a few times. "Well...the way I see it..." She started uncontrollably giggling. "...you like this boy! And want to spend all the time in the world with him! Why don't you just hang out with him and the guys?!"

My jaw dropped.

_Me? Like Kohaku? Well sure he was a great friend...but he is easier to talk to then most people I know..._

"That's silly. Kohaku is just my best friend." I laughed, hoping she wouldn't see the small blush on my face.

"Wait...Kohaku Anberu?" Kagome was now towering over me.

"Yes...do you know him?"

Kagome squealed. "Of course I know him, I'm his sisters best friend!"

I squealed with her. "Oh my god. Are you serious?"

She nodded furiously. "Yeah, we've been friends since I was fifteen. I can't believe I haven't mentioned her to you!"

It _was _odd, seeing as they've been friends for so long. "We'll if you know Kohaku, can you ask him what he thi-" I paused for a moment.

_Ask him what he thinks of me? Why would I want to know?_

"..I mean...ask him...how he's doing. I haven't talked to him in a while!" I blurted out fast, hoping she didn't get the wrong idea.

Kagome giggled. "Sure...Oh!...I nearly forgot." She rummaged through her purse for a few seconds. "Here!" She pulled out three tickets. "I have an extra one...so do you want to bring Kohaku to the Ayumi Hamasaki Christmas Concert? Sango and I planned to go together...and since I had the extras I thought I'd ask you and allow you to bring your own friend!"

I gawked at the tickets. They were something I had been trying to get for weeks. "S-sure. I'll ask him if he'd like to come."

Kagome smiled. "Great. I'll just leave you the extra tickets." She handed the two extras and smiled. "Think of it as my really early Christmas present to you!."

I laughed at her comment. "Thank you. I'll call Kohaku and ask him if he'd like to come."

I figured Dad would start fighting with Uncle Inuyasha soon. "Do you want to go back downstairs?"

She nodded. "Sure. They're bound to start fighting soon."

We laughed a little.

"So excited for your own sibling?"

I smiled. "Yes. I'm really looking forward about it. Mom makes us practice taking care for it all the time...with a doll I mean."

Kagome burst out in laughter. "Wow. When Kikyou was going to have Inumaru and Kira she never got that obsessed!"

I turned a little pink, embarrassed that I now knew not all parents did that.

When we entered the Living room again we didn't see mom and dad talking to Kikyou and Inuyasha. It was _only_ Kikyou and Inuyasha. It was a cute scene, his one of his arms was holding Inumaru while the other was wrapped tightly and protectively around Kikyou, who was holding Kira in her arms.

We both had little fits of giggles watching them snuggle together. They must have heard us, seeing as the pulled away from each other and went back on tending the babies.

The next couple of minutes was about Christmas and what everyone's plans were. I figured now would be my only chance to call Kohaku and ask him if he wanted to go. I quickly slipped into the Kitchen and dialed his number.

"Hello?" Thankfully it was Kohaku who answered the phone.

"Hello...it's Rin." I didn't want to see to excited what if he said no?

"Oh...hey Rin. Is something the matter?" His voice seemed dull and bored.

"No...everything is fine. What are you up to?" Maybe the boys were over, I didn't want to interrupt.

"...Sango is about to take me shopping for her wedding dress." That must be the reason why he seemed so bored.

"Well...before you go...My cousin gave me two tickets to an Ayu Concert...it's not until the twenty-third of December..but would you like to go?" God, I hope he says yes...

"Yeah, sure." His voice was a bit more enlightened.

"Great! Well...I'll see you tomorrow at school. I don't want to hold you from shopping." I laughed a little.

"Er...yeah...joy. See you tomorrow. Bye." He hung up the phone.

I hung up the phone and let out a small squeal, dancing around the kitchen floor I whispered, "Kohaku's going to the Ayu concert with me!" repeatedly, so excited that he actually said yes.

* * *

**_Two weeks later in Kohaku's POV_**

"Yeah, I think Sango's over reacting with the Wedding..." I held the phone close to my hear, holding it up with my shoulder while I polished my dress shoes. "I mean, she's making me polish my shoes..."

On the other end, Rin laughed. "Well...I mean, how many times does one person get married? I wouldn't blame her for over reacting. I would if it was my Wedding."

I pursed my lips together, pressing the polish harder onto the sleek shoe. "Well...she's not _your_ sister, and you don't have to live with it. Figure yourself lucky."

She laughed again. "Oh...I hear mom calling for me. Dad wants to go over the rules of what I should do and how I should behave while I'm there."

I replied with a small laugh myself. "Okay...well I'll have Miroku pick you up tomorrow morning around...nine. Bye." I hung up the phone and stared at my shiny shoes. "I'm going to be here all night..."

"Kohaku I need to order flowers for the Wedding, which would be better. Roses, and if so, what color? Daisies, or Lilies?" Sango held her Cell phone to her ear. "Hurry, make a choice!" I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind.

"Pink Roses...?"

Sango smiled and went back to her phone, going on about how many flowers she needed, while Miroku rushed around making sure that he had everything on his list done. Kilala and I seemed to be the only sane ones at this point.

"Talk about over reacting, huh Kilala?" I scratched behind her ear as she loudly purred.

With a few more minutes of polishing my shoes, I was finally satisfied.

"Hope they're Sango Worthy..." I carried my shoes and Kilala up to my bedroom.

I sat down on my bed, Kilala was still in my arms. My shoes were now by my dresser, blending in with everything else. "So...ready for tomorrow Kilala?" She purred again, rubbing against my stomach. I let out a small laugh, I seemed to be doing that a lot after Rin and I started hanging around a bit more. "So...what color do you think she's going to wear?"

Kilala purred more as I laid down on my back and began stroking her head.

"She doesn't seem like one who'd wear a Pink dress...though she's preppy...just not _that_ way preppy." I turned my head to my dresser and fell asleep, knowing I'd be awoken in a few hours by Sango telling me we'd be late if I didn't hurry.

* * *

The morning wasn't as bad as I figured it would be. I did hear Miroku and Sango rushing around at Six in the morning, but thankfully they let me sleep in until a quarter after eight. I wasn't rushed then. All what was left was to get changed, pick up Rin and drive back to the church.

"Kohaku, comb your hair a few more times, it's so messy! I want the photos to look perfect!"

She seemed to gripe at me about everything that didn't go her way.

"Why aren't you wearing your jacket yet? It's part of your suite! Put it on!"

I rolled my eyes and slipped into the jacket.

_I swear to myself and as god as my witness, I will never be this obsessive over my Wedding...or make sure my Wife doesn't get like this either..._

Once my jacket was on, Sango dragged me out of the house and shoved me into the car. "Stay there. I'm going to get my change of clothes and then we'll pick up Rin!" I sat in the backseat of the car blank-minded for a few minutes. Unaware I was dragged out of my own home.

"Oh Sango...if only you'd get this excited when I ask you to bear my child..." Miroku mumbled to himself, who was in the passenger seat in front of me.

"Hm...I expect on your Honeymoon that's the first thing she agrees to doing?" I snorted, crossing my arms.

Miroku let out a small laugh. "Not the first thing I had on my list...but I could always bump it up!"

I shook my head, mumbling to myself how much of a pervert my Sister was going to spend the rest of her life with.

A few short seconds later Sango tossed her dress into the car and went to the drivers side, speeding off before we even knew it.

We arrived at Rin's house a short few minutes later, thanks to Sango's speeding.

Reluctantly I was the one who had to get her from her house. I knew that if we weren't quick, her dad would pull me aside and give me a lecture of what I can and can-not do to his Daughter.

"Oh! Kohaku!. I didn't think you'd be here so soon. Let me just run and slip on my shoes!" I didn't even get a good look at what she was wearing before she rushed for her shoes. I knew she wasn't in the dress since the blue colored fabric looked like a pair of baggy pants. I waited patiently for the girl, wondering how long one women could take to find her shoes. To my luck, Sesshoumaru walked over to me for a lecture. I tried to pay attention through most of it, but was only able to get the last few sentences.

"...and _if_ you dance with her I do not want you to pull her into a close embrace. Keep a fair distance. And last, _No_ I repeat _no_ kissing!"

His voice was cold and it was rather disturbing, but I gave him a weak smile and stood up straight. "I-I'll be sure to follow the rules..." A hint of fear would increase his thoughts that I was actually _afraid _of him.

"Alright...I'm ready."

When I turned to Rin, I didn't see her in the dress. She was still in a pair of baggy jeans and a regular tee-shirt that draped over her shoulders. In her left hand must have been the dress, fresh from Dry Cleaning. While in the other a box, it must have been full of make-up and brushes, since her hair was pulled into a regular pony-tail.

"I'll see you after the Reception!" She chirped, giving her dad a quick kiss on the cheek.

"I figured you'd change before you we came to pick you up..." I watched the baggy clothing slip from her.

"Oh...well...I wanted a bit of advice for my Make-up and hair so I figured Sango would be much help." She gave a re-assuring smile. We were now in the car, which was speeding rapidly like before.

"So...you just tossed on whatever you could find in your closet?"

She frantically tried to pull up the shirt that was slipping down her shoulder. "Well...these _are _my regular clothes..."

_Regular Clothes? I didn't know girls wore clothes that were ten sizes to big for them!_

I didn't reply to her comment, I most likely would have blurted out what just came into my head. The rest of the drive was rather silent, except for Sango and Miroku's mumbling on what she had left to do.

Arriving at the Church was a rush as well.

Sango headed off to one of the Restrooms with Rin to change, while Miroku headed to the Reception Room to make sure everything was ready. Unsure what I had to do, I wandered aimlessly. I was about to enter the Kitchen to hopefully sneak a snack or something before a voice stopped me.

"So...how do I look?"

Turning I around I was sure my jaw dropped without being aware.

She was absolutely beautiful from top to bottom. Her black shoes matched perfectly with her Spaghetti strapped Midnight Blue gown, a matching jacket covered her shoulders. I noticed her large scar was hidden with cover-up, making her skin flawless. Looking at her shoulders and collar bone I was a little disturbed; They were so bony and visible as though a simple touch would make the skin break. As she inhaled more bones were visible. Making me wonder if she was always this skinny. Her hair wasn't much different from any other day. She didn't do much to it except curl the tips. Her lips were a deep cherry red and light blush covered her cheeks. The make-up blended in so well it was hard to tell if she was actually blushing. When I stopped at her eyes I felt funny inside. Her lashes were longer then usual and her eye-lids were covered with the same Midnight Blue glittering eye-shadow.

"Y-...you look beautiful!"

I gawked at her, not wanting to tear away, she was like a goddess.

"You really think so? I should have brought the jacket that went with this to cover up my arms...or at least tone my outfit down...I'm not going to Prom or anything." She twirled around, making the fabric swish with the sway of her very tiny hips.

"No...I think you look fine. Not over-bored at all!"

Her blush deepened. "Well...people have started arriving now...and Sango wants the photos taken."

Photos weren't as long as I thought they would take. A few pictures of Miroku, his Best Man, Bankotsu (a doctor he worked with in the E.R.) and I were alined up for our own Male Photos. On the other side Sango, her Maid of Honor, Kagome and Rin were alined the same way. When that was done a few group photos were taken.

After that was done we headed to the room where everything takes place. I was finally able to see her in the dress with everything done. Her dress was similar to Rin's design, only longer and puffier. Her hair was a lot similar to Rin's as well, only Sango's was brought up into a bun. Her vail covered most of her front face, making it hard to see what she looked like. Though I was able to tell. Her make-up was Light Red lip-stick, and her cheeks were the same color as Rin's. Her eyes were also similar, except instead of a Blue, they were a sparkling white. In her hands were the Pink Roses I chose.

"Kohaku, stand next to Rin. Alright, now Kagome behind them...Great! Now when the music starts playing start walking!"

Sure enough, as soon as she said that the Bridal March song started.

I couldn't stand holding out the Ring for so long, why did _I_ have to be the Ring barer

anyway? Rin didn't seem to happy about being the Flower girl either. She was mumbling to herself as she took a new step.

We were both relived when we stopped and Sango came walking down.

* * *

Sutsura.

That was Sango's new last name. It was so weird, They were now a Happy couple and I felt like some stranger who lived in their house. I supposed it was normal for an Orphan who lived with his Sister who was just Married to feel like this.

Rin and I sat on a bench outside the Reception Room, staring at people who walked in and out. I was amazed it was even a large Wedding, seeing as both Miroku and Sango didn't have any relatives and not many friends. When Miroku and Sango walked into a room, I could hear an announcer calling out.

"_May I present to you, Mr and Mrs, Miroku Sutsura_."

Once the clapping died down Rin stood up. "Do you want to go in?"

I stared at her for a minute before smiling. "Sure."

Without any hesitation I took her hand in mine and guided her to the Reception. "So...do you want to Dance or get something to eat first?"

She pursed her lips together. "I'm not very hungry..."

It took my a while but I finally spoke again. "Okay...so...you want to dance?"

She nodded.

"You know how right?"

I looked down at my feet. "I think so...Sango made Miroku and I take lessons before..." I guided her onto the dancing floor and held her hand properly.

_I'm supposed to place my hand around her waist...but..._

"My waist. The other hand goes on my waist." She took my free hand and placed it around her body. She was bony their as well.

We started out slow in the dancing but by the chorus of the playing song we were dancing as though it was second nature.

I was so tempted to pull her in to a tighter embrace but I knew somehow Sesshoumaru would find out.

"If I could have your attention please. The bride and groom are now going to cut the cake."

We were only in the middle of our second dance when the announcer began blabbing again.

Rin and I rushed to the cake as Miroku and Sango were now holding the knife together. As they cut into the cake, Kagome was with a camera taking loads of photos. While they were feeding each other she was still flashing her blinding camera.

"Oh Kohaku! Rin! Scoot a little closer together!" Kagome held her camera up to us, ushering us to get closer. "I need another photo of you both."

"_Another_?" Rin squeaked. "What do you mean another?"

Kagome smiled. "Well, I already have a few of the two of you dancing together. And the Photographer took pictures of you both walking down the Aisle. Now come on, scoot closer."

I knew if I didn't, Sango would beat me about it. Scooting closer many passing by couples went on about how cute we looked together.

"Okay. I'm done!" Kagome took her camera and rushed off to find Miroku and Sango for more picture-taking.

"The joy of Weddings." Rin laughed as she scooted away a bit.

"Yeah..." I looked at her face and smile. "Would you like to dance again?"

She smiled once more to me."Yes...Thank you." I took her hand and once again guided her onto the dance floor.

* * *

Okay...so I didn't write when they got married...I sorta skipped it, but the only Wedding I've been to took place in my Mom's best friends back-yard...lol. Before anyone asks "Why was Bankotsu the best man?" Because I couldn't think of another character and in this F.F Inuyasha and Miroku don't know each other. And I'm **_truly _**sorry about cutting it off like that...

Thank you for reading.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha or the Chicken Soup series.

Author's notes - I kept the crappy 'i love you' scene...you people seem to be suckers for cheesy love, lol.**_

* * *

_**

Rin's POV

I looked down at my Christmas shopping list, marking off another gift I bought.

"It seems I only need to buy Kohaku a gift..." I muttered to myself, unsure what a Suicidal Teen-age boy would want. I couldn't think of a simple gift. I already gave him a book, and I'm sure his sister would buy him clothing. But what else was there to give him?

"Rin, are you ready to go yet?" Dad's impatient voice rang.

I shook my head. "No, there's still one more person I need to buy for..." I chewed on my pen that I used to mark off each name.

"That Kohaku boy, right?"

I nodded, biting deeper into the tip. It then hit me like a bolt of lightening.

I rushed off to the music department before my Dad could ask any questions or stop me.

"H...H...where are you...Ah! Here we are. Hamasaki, Ayumi." It was the perfect gift. Kohaku didn't have an Ayu CD's and he was a big fan of her as well. I was now in another tough decision, what album would I get him? There were so many and I only had a certain amount of Christmas money left.

_I didn't think shopping for a boy would be so hard..._

I flipped through most of her albums and came across the "My Story" and "Memorial Address" track. "Perfect!" I grabbed the CD's and rushed back to my still dumb-stricken dad.

"I have his gift! We can go!" I set the CD in the shopping cart and marked Kohaku's name off my list.

"So what did you buy him?" Dad said out of no where.

"The My Story and Memorial Address Ayumi Hamasaki CD's." I said proudly. "Kohaku is fond of Ayumi and her song Moments. So I figured it'd be a great gift!"

He looked at the other items in the cart. "What did you buy your Mother?"

My smile grew. "Baby clothes! I could only find blue so..hopefully the Baby is a boy." I trailed off as I looked around the store some more. Dad didn't say anything after that. I figured it had something to do with my comment about mom having a Baby boy.

When we arrived at the house we quickly rushed into my bedroom and began wrapping all of Mother's gifts.

"So..Dad...if Mother does have a boy. What would you like to name him?" I finished wrapping the Baby clothing and picked up a Romance novel she had her eyes on for a while.

"I never really thought about it."

I handed him the next gift for him to wrap. "Well the Baby is due in April. I figured you'd have a name already."

He stayed silent for a moment. "Kaze."

I looked up at him. "What? Kaze? You mean Wind?" He nodded and set aside the freshly wrapped present.

"Your Mother wants to name the child Kaze." I blinked for a few time then understood. When my Mother was a Teen, her nickname at school was _Kaze_ seeing as she always wanted to be free from her dad.

"I think it's an adorable name!" I set aside the wrapped Romance novel and picked up a few more of mom's gifts.

We didn't talk to each other much after that. Shortly afterwards he left and mom came in and we began to wrap his presents. Since there wasn't that many it went by quite fast.

We talked about the thing mom was now obsessed over; Babies.

It seemed to be the only thing she wanted to talk about. "So...I was thinking Rin. Since I haven't started painting yet, that you'd bring Kohaku over some time after the Holidays and we could paint the room, put up the wallpaper, and things like that."

I smiled as I picked up the last gift. "Sounds fun. Next time I see him, I'll ask."

Our Christmas wrapping lasted a good hour. Seeing as I also gave out four extra gifts from my regular list.

"So what did you get Kohaku and his family?" Mother eyed the large bag in the corner of my room.

"Oh." I picked up the bag and brought it over. "Well, I got their cat some...well cat toys. Kohaku is receiving two Ayumi Hamasaki CD's, I'm giving Sango a book called "_Chicken Soup for the Big Sister's Soul_" and I'm also giving Miroku a Chicken Soup. His is for the Doctor's Soul."

Mom took a look at all the gifts. "So Miroku is a Doctor?"

I nodded. "Yes."

She flipped through Sango's book. "And what does Sango do for a living?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't even think she has a job."

She nodded and began wrapping the remaining gifts.

* * *

_Oh god I look so horrible in these! Why did I even buy them? _

_-These make my hips look ten times bigger!_

_-I'm trying to lose my stomach, not make it bigger. This has to go!_

Out of all of my clothes I couldn't find one thing that would please me. Everything was either to small or made me look larger. "Come on Rin, focus. The concert is in two-half hours. You still have twenty minutes to change!" I took a couple of deep breaths before grabbing a pair of jeans. "I suppose they look good...but if only my as-butt wasn't so large..." I sighed, knowing that I wasn't going to be thin enough in time for the Ayu concert and pulled a tank-top-blouse, even if my jeans were slipping off of me, I still wasn't satisfied. "This will have to do for now." I decided that since we were going to be in a dark concert room I didn't think much about make-up. A simple swing of lip-stick raced across my lips and a brush through my hair still made me seem and look beautiful.

I stood in front of the large mirror, still unsatisfied with the way I looked even if I could catch some eyes across the room.

_How does Kagome manage to stay so tiny? She's so thin and yet she eats so much. And Sango, Sango is tiny as well. And heck, even mom who is pregnant still looks th-_

A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

"Rin. Kagome called. She said she'd be here in five minutes." Mom voice was on the other end.

I sighed again and slipped into my shoes. "Alright. I just need to put on my shoes and grab a jacket. I'll be right out."

She didn't reply. I heard her footsteps walk away from my door.

I grabbed my jacket and stormed down the hallway, still furious that I wasn't thin enough in time.

Sure enough five minutes later Kagome, Sango and Kohaku arrived at the door.

In their hands were some presents. "Some of these are from Miroku and I..." Sango handed the three packages to mom. "And here are the ones from Kikyou, Inuyasha and I."

Kagome was now giving the gifts to dad. I then handed out my gifts. I didn't say anything when I handed them to Kagome and Sango. Just a simple nod and smile was all they received.

"Oh, and here are the pictures I took at the Wedding!" Kagome pulled out a small envelope and walked over to my parents. "Since you don't really know Sango and Miroku that well I'm just giving you the double prints of all the ones with Rin."

Dad flipped through the photos, his eyes narrowed more then they already were as he stared at each new photo. Knowing Dad, he wasn't pleased with the ones of Kohaku and I being so close in each one. When he finished he handed them to Mother and, in a furious state, pulled Kohaku aside.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw dad talking to Kohaku. They were whispering about something that made Kohaku look like he was fearing for his life. I heard some of the faint words he was telling poor Kohaku.

"You embraced her. Your hand was around _my_ daughters _waist_!" By the looks of it Dad was going to snap Kohaku in half.

"S-she, told me that my other hand would go around her waist, Sir..."

Sir? Now I was certain Kohaku felt like he was about to die.

When I looked at dad's eyes they seemed to be full of rage that a _boy _had touched me.

"So, are you ready to go?" Kagome asked, once mom was finished with the pictures. I nodded and gave my parents a quick hug and kiss on the cheek before rushing out into the snow with everyone else.

Once we were in the car and on the road again I decided to start a conversation with Kohaku.

"So. Any plans for Christmas?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm just staying home with Miroku and Sango. An old fashion Christmas with the family. What about you?"

For some odd reason he seemed a little _shy_ in front of me. "No, I'm not doing anything either. We're not even inviting my Aunt, Uncle, or Grandfather over."

He gave a weak smile before changing the topic. "So...what songs do you think she's going to sing?"

I glanced down at my watch. Two hours left. "Hm...I don't know. I hope she sings Moments. Though I'm sure she will...You?"

He shrugged this time. "Maybe Fairyland or something. I don't know."

It seemed to be an awkward silence after that, well, other then Kagome and Sango's random talk about Mistletoe.

We were lucky we even made it in time. The streets were packed with last minute shoppers and those who were trying to get to the homes of their loved ones. Other then that we had to wait in a long line to get in, though it was all worth it. Within a few minutes of us entering the Arena and we were in our seats Ayumi made her way onto the stage.

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

Once Ayumi made her way on stage all three of the girls I came with began screaming their heads off. Yelling random things like, "_We love you Ayu!_" or "_Yeah! Go Ayumi!_" I couldn't help but feel embarrassed with them now. When everyone calmed down Rin squealed again and grabbed onto my hand.

"She's going to start singing soon!" I

smiled back to the giggly girl. Wondering if she was aware she was gripping onto my hand.

When the music to her first song started more people cheered and silenced just in time for her to start.

"_Tachikomeru kumo sukima nuu you ni hoshitachi ga semegiau. Sakebi ni mo nita inori no you na kagayaki ga mune wo shimetsukeru_."

Rin's grip on my hand tightened. "This is Happy Ending. It's one of my favorites." She began softly mouth the words, tilting her head from side to side. Still with my hand in hers.

When that song finished it was followed with a Merry Christmas and a thanks for coming. She then sang a English song called Silent Night thankfully some Japanese subtitles were on a large screen above her. She even had Gacket come on stage with her as a guest for Silent Night and the next song she sang called Merry Christmas then a few of her love songs like Is this Love, Still alone, Dearest...a few more songs passed by and finally, Moments.

When Rin heard this song she began to scream her head off. "Kohaku! It's Moments!" I gave her a weak smile, noticing that several fans around us had the same reaction she did.

"_Kokoro ga kogatsuite. Vakeru nioi ga shita sore wa yume no owari. Subete no hajimari datta. Akogarete mono wa utsukushiku omoete. Te ga todokanai kara kagayaki o mashita no darou_. _Kimi no kudake chitta yume no hahen ga boku no mune o sashite wasurete wa ikenai itami toshite kizamareteku, hana no you ni hakanai no nara. Kimi no moto de sakihokorou deshou soshite egao mitodoketa ato sotto hitori chitteyuku deshou._"

I knew that not anytime time soon Rin would let go of my hand, so without any second thoughts I gripped back and smiled. Though my eyes weren't fixed on Ayumi like I wanted.

They were fixed on Rin. Her dim smiling face and jet black hair still beared a few snowflakes that should have melted in by now. The lights that would graze over her face made her seem more beautiful then she already was. I felt as though I was in one of the movies where when the boy see's the girl of his dreams and a certain love song is playing.

_Stop staring Kohaku! She's bound to notice soon_!

I did as my mind forced. I shook my head and looked back to the stage, just as she was reaching the chorus of the song.

"_Tori no you ni habatakeru nara. Kimi no moteo e tondeyuki deshou, soshite kizu o otta sono se ni. Boku no hane o sashidasu deshou. Hana no you ni hakanai no nara. Kimi no moto de saikihokoru deshou. Soshite egao mitodoketa ato. Sotto hitori chitteyuki deshou_."

When the song ended she announced it would that this would be her last song that she would preform this year.

"What song do you think it would be? Maybe another love song?"

I really had no idea, though I loved Ayumi's music I didn't know to many of her songs...let alone the title's of them.

"_Mata me atte soshite kotoba o kawashita. Mune ga takanatte egao de kakushita. Kimi o shiranakatta koro ni modorenaku narisou de."_

"Oh this is another one of my favorites! This one is called _Because of You_."

I listed to the lyrics and somehow was drawn to them in a different way Moments had grabbed me.

The line "I found I couldn't go back to the times when I had not known you." made me think of Rin again. I knew I couldn't. It would be impossible for me even if I tried. Everything changed after I met her, I was spending more time with Sango, I would actually carry a civilized conversation with her and I didn't start cutting myself again like I had planned.

_Kohaku! Pay attention! Stop getting sidetracked by her. She might get suspicions if not her then Sango or Kagome_!

Why was it getting hard to pay attention now? Every though that traced my mind was about her and I couldn't focus on everyday things as well as I used to.

"_Doushite tokidoki sunao ni jenai. Doushite tokidoki vasashiku narenai. Doushite tokidoki kizutsuke atteru. Doushite tokidoki tashikame atteru. Doushite tokidoki konnani kurushii. Doushite itsudemo konnani itoshii. Kimi ja nakya dame de. Kimi ja nakya dame de._"

When she finished she gave a quick smile, wave, told everyone Happy Holidays and New Year and bow before walking off the stage.

"Wasn't the concert amazing Kohaku?" Rin had finally let go of my hand while we walked out of the Arena.

Before I could answer Sango and Kagome began giggling and frantically talking about it. "Yes I know! Did you see her outfits? They were so cool!"

"Yeah I know! And the music! Oh my gosh she played almost all of my favorite songs!."

"I know! We should go to more of her concerts!"

The two girls seemed to carry that conversation all the way up to the car, when I was finally able to say what I thought about it. "Yeah...it was really good." What would I say? It was the best thing I could come up with at this point.

We arrived at Rin's house shortly afterwards. "Make it quick Kohaku! The snow is really starting to pick up!" Sango yelled across the drive way as we tried to make our way to her front steps.

"I'm glad you could come to the concert." She smiled, rubbing her hands together and blowing into them every now and then, hoping to increase the heat in them. "Yeah...I was pretty glad I could come." I let out a small laugh at the end. She smiled and bit her lower lip. "Um...well I'll call you Christmas evening...maybe dad will let you Sango and Miroku come over." I looked up at the rim of her house, my eyes grew. Hanging above us was a small piece of Mistletoe.

_Mistletoe? That wasn't there when we came to pick her up! And this is one family I thought would never hang Mistletoe especially in this place! It must have been hung here purposely..._

I let out a small cough. "Yeah. That would be great...um...does your Mom usually hang Mistletoe there?"

She lifted up her head and turned white as the snow. "No..."

I took a deep breath and moved in closer to her. "Isn't it tradition when two people are under a Mistletoe they must kiss?"

She let out a small noise as my frozen fingers were wrapped around her arms. I lowered my head and pressed my lips onto hers. I could feel at first she was unwilling to this but soon gave in and scooted into the lip embrace. When she pulled away her face was now a flaming red.

"Um...Merry Christmas..." She shyly mumbled as she tried to grab the door handle.

"Yeah...Merry Christmas."

When I knew she was safe in her house I rushed back to the car, really hoping Sango and Kagome didn't see what I did.

Opening the car door I beat them to a reaction. "I don't want to hear it. I'm sure you saw but I _don't_ want to hear it!." I was lucky, all they did was let out loud giggles and heard Kagome whisper in a low voice that she asked Kagura to place it there.

* * *

"Merry Christmas Kohaku!"

Sango stood over my bed, a huge grin on her face, my stocking in one of her hands and a cup of Hot Chocolate in another. I sat up in my bed and took the items from her.

"Thanks...so where's Miroku?" Sango was now sitting at the foot of my bed. "He's changing. Come on, open up your stocking gifts!"

Rolling my eyes and taking a sip of Hot Chocolate I opened up my stocking to find that most if it was the Candy I received every year and small pointless presents. Though in the stocking was a black Journal looking book that beared the word "_Kohaku_" on it. She obviously wanted me to write down my feelings in this book.

"Now hurry up and get dressed. And wear your nice Christmas outfit, we're going to Rin's for dinner." She didn't even bother to make sure I got the whole message, she was already heading back downstairs to the living room.

When I reached the living room, Kilala jumped at me and landed on my shoulder, mewing happily and licking my cheek between each mew. "Merry Christmas to you to Kilala." I smiled, noticing her Christmas bow was already on. Sango was curled up in a blanket by the tree, ready to hand out the presents. Miroku sat on the couch across from her also wrapped up in a blanket with a camera right beside him and a large mug of Coffee beside it. I sat down next to Miroku, with Kilala still on my shoulder.

"Alright, well here's Kohaku's first present! And guess who it's from."

I rolled my eyes as I took the small package and said a sarcastic voice, "Santa Claus?"

She glared at me before grabbing the next gift she was going to hand out.

_It's from Rin...who knows what she bought me..._

When I finished removing the wrapping paper my jaw dropped. There in my hands was My Story CD, I knew that had Moments seeing as it was in Rin's large collection. When I picked up the CD to take a better look at it I saw the Memorial Address CD.

"So what did she get you?" Sango leaned over, trying to get a better look.

"Oh...just some CD's, nothing big." I set them aside and moved on to watch Miroku open his first gift.

Since there were only three of us our Christmas morning didn't last two long. We were done in forty-five minutes not including the cleaning we did afterwards. Once the cleaning was done Sango heated up another cup of Hot Chocolate and began reading the book Rin bought her. Miroku sat beside Sango and began reading one of the few books he received this Christmas.

I on the other hand took all my gifts, rushed up to my room and began playing the tracks she gave me.

_Aw, isn't that just nice of Rin? She bought you Ayu! _

_-And all you gave her was a lousy-_

The phone ringing caught my attraction. "It's Rin!" Miroku called, rushing up the stairs to deliver me the phone.

"Hello?" I paused the CD player and sat on my bed, wondering what she could be calling me about now.

"Thank you for the gift! I love it so much!" She was squealing her head off again.

"Oh...your welcome...I mean it wasn't anything big."

"Nothing big? Kohaku I love it!"

"Glad you do...thanks for the gift as well. Just before you called I was listening to it." I could hear her giggle softly on the other end.

"Your welcome. Believe me, thank was nothing big." It was my turn to let out a small laugh.

"Well I better go, Mom and I are going to make some last minute Christmas cookies...I'll see you around four."

"Alright...bye." We both hung up the phone. I tossed aside and laid down on my bed, hitting the play button on my way down.

_Ugh...do I dare ask Sango or Miroku what love is?_

Odd, instead of looking at the girls in the movies or posters that all the other boys drooled over, I looked at Rin and would feel different. My heart speeds faster and I blush at a simple word she says.

"Hey, Kohaku done with the phone?"

Miroku knocked on my door, letting me know ahead that he was coming. I motioned the phone on my floor and asked him, "Miroku...what's love?" I heard him let out a faint gasp and shut my door a bit more so Sango wouldn't over hear us.

"Why would you want to know what it is?"

I shrugged. He frantically looked around the room, hoping he'd find something to talk about so he could stall this talk for a few more years.

"Aren't you a little young?"

I shook my head and sat up. "I'll be Seventeen in February." I could tell by his expression and constant need to stall that he didn't want to tell me.

"Is it when you think about that someone constantly and almost every second. When you see this person and you can't breath and your heart speeds up and your blushing like mad all of a sudden?" He sighed before brining his head up into a smile. "It's Rin huh?"

I gave a quick nod, hoping he wouldn't see.

"So when are you going to tell her?"

I thought on that one for a moment. "When I feel the time is right."

* * *

**_Rin's POV_**

_Where could Kohaku be? It's almost dinner time..._

_-His car could have been caught in snow? It is a blizzard out there you know._

_-Yes...but what if he decided to spend Christmas dinner with the boys?_

_-No, he wouldn't. Besides, those boys have family members and it's not Kohaku to leave you waiting like that._

_-And it's not like him to buy such a nice gift either now is it_?

I waited patiently waited by the door, hoping Kohaku would arrive soon.

"The roads are icy...maybe he's just having a bit of trouble." Dad said, not even looking up from his book. That wasn't helping. I wished he was here now and didn't make me wait so long.

To my luck the doorbell rang.

When I answered the door I saw all three of them shivering and trying to keep warm. "Merry Christmas." Sango managed to spurt out. "S-sorry it took so long. We couldn't get the heater in our car to work." Miroku finished, walking into the house, still shaking a bit. When Kohaku walked in I immediately grabbed onto his cold hand.

"I love the gift. Thank you!"

He gave me a weak smile. "You already said that."

I returned the smile. "I know, but I really love it."

"Oh your just in time. Dinner is ready!" Mom called from the Kitchen entrance.

Though there were only four adults and two...well three children dinner was loud. As if we gathered a huge family reunion together. Miroku, Sango, and Mother were laughing about some old things they used to do when they were younger for the Holidays. Dad, like every Holiday, just sat there eating his meal and minding his own business, making small eye contact every now and then. And though it was a little hard with the others laughing Kohaku and I managed to start a conversation.

"So...did you have a nice Christmas so far?" I started the conversation. Then again, when didn't I?

"Yes. It was fun I suppose. And yourself?"

I looked at Dad. I noticed his eyes were now fixed on Kohaku. It seemed that whenever he was over Dad was watching him like a Hawk. "Yes. It was fun as well."

A few moments of silence was between us. Even if it was because we were eating the food on our plates, it still bothered me.

"I see your wearing the Necklace..." His voice was quiet now.

"Yes. The moment I realized what it was I opened it up and put it on. Does it look okay on me?" I flaunted a bit towards him, showing off the three beautifully cut stones. Two Diamonds and one Sapphire in the middle of each Diamond that stood beside each other on the metal cord.

"I think it's beautiful."

"Thank you..." It seemed like a polite enough reply.

While mom took our dishes away she sent us off again like the first time Kohaku came over.

"I'm guessing you'd like to hang around my bedroom until my mom calls us?" We were already at the door by then and it seemed so obvious that, that was what he wanted to do. We both sat on my bed, spending the first few minutes talking about the items we received this year. When that was over it was just more silence between us. I hated it when there was always a long silence between us after we finished a conversation.

"Rin..." I looked away from the floor.

"Yes?" He wasn't looking at me as he spoke, it was though he was embarrassed for what he was going to say next.

"Um...oh shit...how do I say it?..."

I was now utterly confused. "Is something the matter?" He shook his head, still not looking at me.

"Rin..." He now grabbed my hand and held it tight.

"Yes Kohaku?..." I heard him take a deep breath, urging his body to say the words.

"I..."

He paused again, this anxiety was really getting to me.

"Kohaku. You know you can tell me anything. In a way I'm still you consular, am I not?" I took my free hand and placed it on top of the his that was holding my other. Though his face was still towards the ground I could make out a blush under his eyes. "Come on Kohaku..." I scooted closer to him, it was now killing me that he wasn't talking and telling me the answer.

"Rin ...I..._love_ you..."

I let out a small gasp in surprise. Here was a boy who is cold as ice at times now wanted to be my lover? It was all to much at first, true I had feelings for him that was different from any other boy I knew, but this was to sudden for me. When I came to my senses and looked back at him properly, I could tell he was waiting for a reply. I smiled and leaned my face closer to him, giving an honest to god answer;

"I love you too..."

* * *

Author's notes - Yes yes yes, I kept that crappy 'i love you' scene in...

Thank you for reading.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha...I think we all know that by now.

Author's notes - I'm warning everyone again. This will have Bulimia in it which is when a person vomits their food. If you are disturbed please just skip this entire chapter.

**_

* * *

Rin's POV_**

"Rin? A-...are you sure?"

Mom's frantic whispering woke me up early Monday morning. As much as I wanted to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep, before my alarm clock went off, I listened to what my parents were saying.

"I'm positive Kagura. Look at the symptoms." Dad cleared his throat and began to list the symptoms. "Loss of at least three consecutive menstrual periods, not wanting or refusing to eat in public, and her others symptoms include; Anxiety, weakness, brittle skin, shortness of breath, obsessiveness about calorie intake."

Mom let out a faint gasp in surprise. "But...what would make her start?"

I laid there in my bed, not wanting to move, afraid of if I left the room they'd corner me and beg me to tell why I started. What made them catch on? Was it my clothes slipping from every inch of my body? The fact that I would take smaller portions of food and skip Breakfast and Lunch? My parents continuing their small talk about my condition raided on.

"I bet it was that Kohaku boy. He must have made some comment." It wasn't a surprise to hear that from my Dad. He wasn't even aware though that Kohaku and I had been going out for a little over a Month and a half.

My mom didn't reply to that. Both of us knew it was pointless to argue with him when he mentioned Kohaku these days.

"Should I schedule an appointment?..." My mom timidly said. I didn't hear Dad say anything to her, his reply was silent.

In the time it took mom to call and make an appointment, My alarm had gone off and I had already pushed my body out of bed and forced myself to get dressed.

"Did you eat Breakfast?" My Dad's stern voice sent chills down my spin as I packed up my books. "Um...no, see they hold Breakfast at the school and...Souten, Shiori, Kanna and I always eat then!"

True, they did serve Breakfast at the school. Though the girls and I never did go and eat together, not even Kohaku and I.

"Hm...well your mom wants you to eat Breakfast here from now on..."

I sighed, there was no way I would be able to get out of eating with them. Pulling a Bulimia wasn't really what I wanted to do twice a day now. It left such a horrible after taste and made my throat burn to where I would be in tears. And why did it have to be my favorite dish? It was as though mom was purposely trying to make me eat so much. Even if I had missed the flavor in my mouth, I still hated myself for eating so much of it.

"May I be excused?..." I muttered bitterly as I finished the last of my meal. Thankfully mom allowed me to go, as well reminding me that I had to leave in seven minutes. "Two minutes is all I need..." I whispered to myself as I bent down in front of the toilet.

(Author's note- If you find Bulimia disturbing please skip the next paragraph)

I really didn't want to do it twice a day now. But seeing as mom and dad were going to make me eat Breakfast with them as well I knew I would have to start. Taking a deep breath I slid my index finger down my throat and threw up my delicious calorie filled meal. Flushing the toilet I let out a tiny scream the burn of the vomit caused me and began to furiously brush my teeth and rise it with mouth-wash.

"Rin, I'm ready to take you to the Bus Station." Dad banged on the door, startling me a bit. I wiped the tears from my face and picked up my book-bag, speeding out of the bathroom and rushing to the car, wanting nothing more then to see Kohaku and go on with our daily routine.

Our car drive wasn't silent like it normally was. It was actually pounding with random music that was being played on the radio and every now and then was a small conversation on "How is your book report coming?" or "How is Drama going? When is tryouts?" I honestly didn't mind the small chit-chat we had together. I felt much closer to my dad when we talked.

Pulling up to the Bus Station, I couldn't find Kohaku anywhere. I was a little disappointed, but waited patiently beside my dad. "Rin...you're mom and I are taking you to a Doctor's appointment shortly after your lunch period." I gave him a weak smile and headed out of the car, yelling back to him that I'd see him then.

I was lucky I was able to do some of my school work today. The worries of what the Doctor would say to my parents was pushing me down. What if I was placed into a Hospital where they made me eat three meals a day? I'd have to gain more weight then what was already on me. What did it matter? It was my body and I was in control of everything that happened to it, so what did it matter if I skipped two meals a day and when I had the chance, three?

"Rin..."

Kohaku pushed lightly at my shoulder, making me shoot up and bite my lip in the pain he had inflicted. "You're Dad is here." I looked to the door and saw my parents in the door way, talking to my History teacher about something, most likely why I was going to have to miss the rest of the day. "I'll call you tonight, Kohaku..." I mumbled, gathering my books together, not even listening to his reply of why I had to leave now.

The appointment was quick. They talked to me for a bit before weighing me. In which I was horrendous 90 pounds. They then took a look at my body, and asked me a few questions before asking me to leave the room while they talked to my parents. Though it didn't stop me from hearing in. Gently, I pressed my ear against the door, hoping he'd speak loud enough for me to catch every word.

"Mr and Mrs Sakaru, I'm sorry to say that you're daughter is Anorexic." I could hear mom let out a gasp and start to cry a little. "This Disease is curable as I'm sure you are aware...we'd actually like you to try to make Rin eat three healthy meals a day. If that doesn't work, we suggest you put her in a Hospital where they deal with girls like her." Neither of my parents said a word. I could hear Mother's heavy breathing of trying to keep her tears down, but that was the only noise that came from them.

_Anorexic?...No, I couldn't be! That's impossbile..._

"If you'd like I can give you some pamphlets and a documentary on Anorexia?" The Doctor continued with his speech. "It may help you get a better idea on what condition Rin is in. Odd though, this normally happens to girls who are starting puberty...You're daughter is a little over half way."

When I heard footsteps coming my way I backed away from the door. What were my parents going to do? Yell, Scream, Cry, Strike me?

Mom was the first to walk out of the room. She didn't even look at me, all she did was let out more silent tears and go to the desk for some information.

Dad on the other hand walked up to me. His face looked furious, it was scaring me. I knew it, a strike on the face is what I was going to get. Instead, my dad bent down on one knee, shot his arms out toward me and pulled me into a warm, yet gentle hug. I let out a soft whimper, telling him that it hurt a little, raising up my own arms and returning the hug. I felt hot tears fall into my hair. My dad, in my eleven years of living with him I had never seen cry, was crying over...me. I wanted to tell him not to cry and that everything would be fine, yet I knew that wouldn't all be true. We stayed in that position until Mother let out a small noise, telling us we had to leave. Neither of us saying a word to how the other reacted to his embrace and tears.

I glanced at the clock; Seven forty-seven. I figured Kohaku would be worried about why I haven't called by now. Picking up the phone, I slowly dialed his number.

"Hello?" Good, it was Kohaku that answered.

"Hello...sorry about not calling sooner..." I mumbled, sounding like I was the cutter and he was the consular.

"It's fine. Where did you go anyway?"

I sighed. Did I really have to tell him about my condition? "Um,...My family and I were going in to the Hospital...since my Mother...was having a check up on the Baby. She just wanted me to be there." Ah, the perfect lie. He'd fall for it, seeing as he knew how much this New Life was going to mean to my Family.

"Oh, so how is the Baby?" His voice was more relaxed from when I first called.

"Oh...it's good. Due around the mid of April." I looked at my calender. It was now the end of February. Only a month and a half I had before I'd be a Big Sister.

"Er...I have to go. Miroku wants me for something and it's not going to be quick. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Alright. Bye...I love you..." It was always weird to say those three words together. Even if I knew no one was tapping in my phone line it was always awkward.

"I love you too. Bye."

I hung up the phone and sighed. After dinner I was forced to watch the documentary with Mom and dad, and wasn't allowed to get up for anything. Not even for the restroom, taking away my chance to dispose of my meal that I had previously consumed.

When the documentary finished, I surprised to see mom walk me to my room.

"Rin...you know, I understand what you are going through right now..." She whispered softly, guiding her hand across my face like she wound an infant. "I don't understand...what do you mean you know what I'm going through?" Mom gave a weak smile. "You know I was Anorexic once..." Instead of replying to what she said I rolled over on my side, as much as it hurt. "I said in my Journal that I gave you that I met your dad at a School Dance." Mom took a deep breath and sighed. "Though that's not how it happened...I'm not sure if I want to be the one to tell you..so when your dad drives you to school tomorrow, I'll be sure to make sure that he tells you..."

She stood up and leant over my body, giving me a small kiss on the temple. "Good night Rin..."

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

"...Why do we have to wear such _revealing_ Gym uniforms?"

I turned and laughed at Rin. "Revealing for the girls maybe, I actually _enjoy_ these uniforms compared to our everyday ones." She bit her lip and blushed. "Well if you were a girl, you'd find these uniforms to be unpleasant." I laughed once more and studied Rin's frail looking body. Where her womanly hips and curves should have been, I saw only bone. The flesh that covered her bones seemed to be like a tightly wrapped seal that was supposed to be protecting it.

"Ri---

"Hey Rin, Kohaku. You'll never guess what sport we're playing in Gym class today." Souten said, bouncing up and down while clinging to Shippou at the same time.

"And what would that be?" I asked.

"Volleyball!." Souten squealed, bouncing up and down more and more.

Sure enough that once Souten finished her squealing our Gym teacher blew on her whistle, calling everyone to the grounds, telling us what game we'd be playing and how. Boys where on one team and the Girls were on the other. All we had to do was smack a ball around the court, how hard could it be?

"Kohaku! Heads up!" Souten's voice over powered all the others as the white almost gray ball headed towards me. Jumping up I smacked the ball making it fall towards Rin's friend, Shiori. I called out her name and award her about the ball. Volleyball wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, I wasn't the best at sports and finding one that I was some-what good at made me enjoy them more. The cycle of passing the ball continued. Not once did I see anyone pass it to Rin. She didn't even flinch when the ball was close to her.

When the ball was in my reach I called for Rin.

"Rin! Above you!"

Her expression looked afraid, almost as though it was a bomb heading towards her. She bent her knees and jumped up into the air, but just barley. She was a good inch away when she collapsed onto the hard ground.

Shiori screamed and like all the other girls rushed over to Rin. A few of the boys even followed while a few of them raced to find the teacher. One girl even had her cell phone and was calling for an ambulance. I squeezed my way through panicking girls and saw Rin's body laying on the cement, motionless yet still thankfully breathing. My mind was racing. My heart was pounding and my body felt like shutting down right there.

"Where's the teacher?" I yelled, checking her pulse. The students around me looked around for the Teacher. Wasn't she supposed to be watching us? I couldn't wait any longer, I picked up Rin's light and limp body and raced towards the nurses office.

_Rin you idiot, is this why you're so thin?_

Thankfully a Teacher spotted me carrying her and helped me get her to the Nurses office and contact her parents. Once the Nurse had finished taking care of her, I was allowed in to see her until her parents arrived.

"You idiot..."

It was all I could say to her as I held her hand, rubbing it softly. I wanted to tell her other things yet every time I opened my mouth all I could say was those two words.

_How could I not see it earlier? Her envy filled eyes whenever we passed a women who was skinner or dare I say prettier. Refusing to eat lunch with me except for certain days when she'd eat a small salad. The clothes that fell off of her body, her bulging eyes and sunken face...how could I not see it? How could her parents not see it? I'm her boyfriend and yet I failed to protect her from this..._

A little whimper caught my attention..

"Rin! Are you alright?" My grip on her hand tightened as I leaned closer to her face, which was still a pale white. "Kohaku...?" She sat up a bit and held her head.

"Did...I pass out or something?"

I nodded lightly. "Yes..." She looked at me as though I was telling a lie.

"Sorry...lack of sleep..." She let out a small blush.

"I didn't know lack of sleep made your clothes fall off and made your face sunk in..." I bitterly confronted her. Now aware of this illness and what it could do to a girl, slapping myself mentally for not bothering to research it on the internet. I wrapped my arms around her frail body.

"You idiot. How could you do this to yourself? You were absolutely perfect and beautiful before you started! You helped prevent me from killing myself, well what do you think you're doing Rin? You're killing yourself, this is what this 'diet' causes!"

I let go of Rin as she laid back down on the bed. The coming footsteps could have been her parents, and I didn't want them to figure out that we were so close to each other.

When her mom entered to room first she screamed out her daughter's name and rushed over to her, pushing me aside in the process.

Her dad on the other hand stood against the wall, watching his Wife's actions, looking as though he didn't even care what had just happened to his child. How could someone act so heartless to someone so close to them? Without second thought or any hesitation I walked up to him and began lashing out in a low voice.

"She's your daughter! How could you not catch that she was ill?"

He didn't say a word to me, not even a glimpse with his eyes.

"You're daughter is practically dying and you couldn't catch it? You see her everyday! You didn't even notice her skipping meals, and becoming weaker and thinner with each passing day?" Still no reply. "I'm talking to you! Didn't you notice anything about her!" I was furious enough right there. I picked up my right arm and curled my hand into a fist and aimed it at him, hoping then he'd reply to me when I strike him. Only then did he move. He grabbed my wrist, twisted my arm and slammed me against the wall. Instead of listening to his Wife, who was now telling him to let me go, he bent down and whispered in my ear, "For that action I wouldn't let you see my Daughter again. However, it seems that you care so much about her that you'll actually lash out at me. Remember this Kohaku, try that again and it will be the last thing you do."

The threat sent chills down my spine and caused me to avoid any eye contact with him for the rest of the time they were in the room, discussing with the Nurse and Principal what had been going on with her. I was only given a few short moments alone with her before she left for home.

"I'm so sorry for the way dad reacted to you almost punching him...did he hurt you?"

I shook my head, lightly massaging the wrist that had been in his grip. "Not really...the threat freaked me out more then anything though." I let out a small laugh at the end, assuring her that everything was fine and she didn't need to worry about anything but her health. "I'll drop by your house later. Sango and Miroku are bound to come visit you once they find out."

She gave a weak smile. "Alright. I'll see you tonight."

It was night and I had told Sango and Miroku about Rin's health. I kept putting if off making excuses to Rin on why I hadn't seen her since that day in the Nurses office. Sango told me that Kagura called and invited us over, saying something about Rin being very depressed and requesting to see me. Driving along the road I watched the rain drip down my window...was Rin going to be like the rain? Slips away and gets thinner and thinner by the minute? I shake the thought from my head. I would have to pull Sesshoumaru aside. He's the man of the house...why didn't he see this sooner?

Coming upon their drive way, I felt uneasy. Somehow I knew that something was going to happen tonight...wether it was by me or because of me I didn't know. I don't blame Kagura on not catching Rin's illness, though Sesshomaru, I'll make him talk. Stepping to the door I ring the door bell, Sango was fidgeting behind me. The door opens and I saw Kagura, looking distressed with her hand on her ever-growing mid-section. She gives a small smile and ushers us in.

Dinner was delicious as was to be expected with Kagura's cooking, I've learned to love her like a mom. Rin was sitting, staring at her plate and I noticed this. Why wasn't Sesshoumaru doing something? A loud voice interrupted our silent meal.

"I swear to god Rin, if you don't start eating soon I will _force feed_ you!" Sesshoumaru boomed aloud, startling everyone at the table.

I surprised at Rin's reaction. I thought she would immediately stick her chopsticks into the bowl and devour her noodles. Instead she stood up and ran to her room, crying her eyes out as she went and screaming it was her body and not his. Instead of Sango or Kagura starting up a conversation we all kept our heads bowed low and finished our meal. Afraid that if we refused to finish it, he would threaten to feed us.

It took a while but we all finished. Rin's neglected noodles were sent down the drain as Sango and Kagura began to clean up mumbling soft words to each other. Miroku went outside to make a call. And here I was, alone with Sesshoumaru at last.

I walked up to him. A little scared of what would happen next.

"Sesshoumaru..." My voice was a bit creaky when I began his name, a sign of fear and he knew it.

"What is it?" His eyes narrowed and studied me, making my fear increase.

Letting out a small cough I stepped closer to him and lifted up my head, looking at him straight in the eye. My hands were clenched into fists, I wasn't going to try punching him again. "I'm going t-to ask you again...why didn't you catch Rin's condition earlier? You see her almost everyday and you couldn't notice that none of her clothes where fitting and that she used safety pins to keep her skirt up?" I kept my voice at the same tone the whole time. One note higher and he would have thought the wrong thing. "Why is it that I noticed and you didn't?"

"Hm, if you did notice...why did you not say anything to her?. After all...you _are_ her boyfriend." A hint of amusement crossed his voice.

I gaped at him in shock for a moment. How could he have known? We kept it so tight and secure the whole time, not once did we hold hands, hug or even...kiss in public where he could catch us. The only possible time would have to be when we first said those three words.

"How—

"Did I find out?" His strict face turned into a smirk. "I over heard you that day you said you _loved each other_. Right there I was tempted to run into the room and grab your little neck.."

"Ahem!"

Kagura's stern cough barged into our conversation. She wasn't crying like I expected, her face was more flushed with a small tint of pink under her eyes. "Kohaku, Rin want's to talk to you."

With a quick glare to Sesshomaru, I rushed off to Rin's room.

Her door was opened a crack and I was able to get a quick glimpse of her sitting on her bed. Holding a large stuffed animal in her arms and crying into the head of it.

"Are you okay?." I pushed through the door and sat at her feet.

She lifted up and her head and sniffled a few times. "Kohaku...I-I don't want to die!" Immediately, her body was plunged on top of me, tears began to soak through my shirt as she went on about not wanting to die so young. Without using much strength, I sat up and wrapped my arms around hers. "This is why you need to eat. If you want to live your body must eat carbohydrates and calories."

She sniffed a few more times. "But that makes you..."

"Makes you look healthy. Have you seen yourself! Rin, your nothing but skin and bones, if you don't put on a few more pounds you _will_ die."

She adventured her eyes away from mine and looked and her scrawny arms. A small whimper of un-satisfaction was made. "But have you seen those models? They are..." Trailing off she looked away from her arms and stared at the Ayumi Hamasaki poster, making her eyes fill with Envy.

Nothing was going to please this girl, she could be Miss Japan and still believe she was over-weight.

"Rin..I think it would be best if you went to the Hospital for a little while..."

"What?" She pulled away from my grip and sat up on my knees, taking my words the wrong way. "I tried to hard to lose all this weight for_ you_ and now you want me throw all my hard work away?" I reached out to hold her again back she slapped my hand and scooted away from me. "Don't touch me!" She screamed and covered her face.

"But Ri—

"Get out!" Her legs began to kick out towards me as though I was a rat that was to be disposed of. "Out! I don't ever want to see you again!"

"But..."

"I said get out!"

The door was slammed in my face and by then, everyone in the house was staring. Sango shook her head slightly and whispered something to Miroku. Kagura stood in shock next to her husband, who was glaring at me with deep eyes.

"It's getting late...thank you for having us over though.." Sango mumbled, grabbing me by the back of my ponytail. "_I'll_ call later tonight, Kagura." Kagura let out a meek nod and walked us to the door. "I'm sorry about Rin's behavior..but Kohaku..it's best you don't see her for a while.."

"Why? Because I told her to go to a Hospital?" I was now angry at Rin, wishing she never came into my life and stopped me.

Kagura nodded again and turned her head back every few seconds to see if her daughter had calmed down. "Just until everything is settled again and she's up to talking to you."

Right there, I stormed off without a good-bye and furiously slammed the car door when I closed it.

_Stupid, stupid Rin! It's her fault she's dying. She's the one that stopped eating and ignored it when everyone asked her to eat! I wish she never came into my life and stopped me from cutting! Then perfect little Rin wouldn't be Anorexic and thow a fit towards me..._

I looked up towards the house and saw Sango waving good-bye to Kagura midway through the walkway.

'_I'll just breakup with her, everyone will be much happy. And Rin won't have to worry if her 'boyfriend' is looking at other women._

Yes, end my relationship with her. A part of me wanted to get out of the car and do it now, but the other told me to wait and see how things turned out. Either way Rin would most likely be in tears through the middle of my sentence. Turning my head back to the house I saw Sesshomaru head towards my car.

_Coming to give me another lecture, hm, Sesshoumaru?_

He opened the car, ignoring Kagura and Sango asking him to stop and explain what he was doing. His arm reached out and grabbed me by the back of my neck, dragging me back into the house, ignoring my pain. I guess I was going to be able to breakup with her tonight after all.

"Ow, what the he-..."

"You're going to apologize to my daughter." His grip tightened around my neck and pulled me back into her room. Which was now a mess, posters were ripped from it's pins and tossed onto the floor, her blankets scattered and make-up splattered. And worst of all, her back was towards me. She _knew_ I was there and she actually had the nerve to face her back towards me? I felt like I was going explode with anger, I had never been so mad in my life. Pulling away from Sesshoumarus grip and told her what I truly thought.

"Why the hell did you do this Rin? Because of me? There was nothing wrong with you to begin with, I-I still don't believe that you actually starved yourself for me!." I paused for a moment and clenched my fists together. "Rin..." Taking a few steps closer to her, I made certain that Sesshoumaru was out of reach to ring my neck. "..you were perfect, absolutely perfect." Uncertain how she would react, I reached my arm out and grabbed onto her shoulder.

_This is your chance Kohaku, end it with her now!_

"Rin..."

_Now! Tell her you are breaking up with her!_

My mouth opened, yet no words came out. I knew what I wanted to say and yet it seemed impossible for me to do.

"I'm not just Anorexic, I'm a Bulimic to..." Rin whispered. "...and I'm proud of doing it, both Anorexia and Bulimia."

* * *

Author's notes - (Said in dull voice.) I so didn't see that one coming...

Thank you for reading.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha

Author's note- I am so sorry for two things...One - For disturbing a few of you with Rin's purging...I try keeping this story realistic. Two - For not updating in nearly a year! I am so sorry about that. I was caught up in school, training, and then my health went low...Not to mention my own mom was pregnant, since pregnancy nearly kills her (literally) every time, I was forced to take care of the house and her. I also put the story off for a long time, growing bored of it. I then decided to re-write all of the chapters! So, while I give you knew ones, I will be going through and re-writing the old ones to make them a hell of a lot better. Thank you for those of you who stayed and waited for my return. I also apologize for the OOC-ness, I am making the characters very _dark_ because I like it that way. No flames would be nice, maybe complaints about my absense, but that's all.

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

"I'm not just Anorexic, I'm a Bulimic to..." Rin whispered.

My fists were clenched together as I tried to contain my anger, yet it seemed impossible. "Rin..." I started, wondering if this was going to be the right thing to say. "... you're such a damn hypocrite!."

She gasped as though I had _truly_ insulted her. As she opened her mouth to argue, I quickly walked up to her and pressed a finger on her lips.

"Let me continue."

She gave a small nod and glanced over at Sesshoumaru, who stood there in the doorway still.

Taking a deep breath, I continued with my harsh speech.

"Are you trying to get me killed by your Father? Apparently, I am the reason that you went in this direction...but you know Rin...there was a moment in time where I could care less about your body and how you were taking care of it. I told you that I loved you, and you still ignored me and continued this act." I paused for a moment, getting a new idea. "Or is it...you just want to die together?. Think about it. I could go back to cutting...or would drugs be more officiant for you?. Come on Rin, you're so determined to die, so why not me as well?."

I waited for a brief moment. Waiting and wondering how my words effected her.

Her head was turned to her Father, who surprisingly just stood there, obviously waiting to see what next I had to say.

"Why Rin...must we be in this suicidal love?. If you want this to be a relationship were we are 'dying' to love each other, then so be it. Hopefully I die before you, so I don't have to watch you wither away from a beautiful blossom to an ugly twig. What path do you want this relation ship to lead?." I yelled at the top of my lungs, to the point that it was hoarse. Reaching into my pocket and grabbed my knife. I didn't use it much for cutting anymore, it began more of a self-defense weapon. Putting it to my wrist, I smirked. "Since you are ahead, don't you think I should catch up?."

Her brown eyes filled with shock, as I lightly glided my blade along my wrist.

"So what do you say? Should I catch up?."

"You wouldn't dare! No way would you have the courage to do it in front of me."

I pressed harder on the blade and a small trace of blood appeared.

My action seemed to have effected her more then I thought, when she noticed to blood to spill out heavier and faster, she ripped one of her sheets into a bandage cloth. Grabbing my wrist, she affectionately tented to my self-inflicted wound.

"This means that you'll start eating again I assume, and won't throw it back up?."

She lowered her head and clenched her fists together. "You just don't get it do you?."

"What's not to get? You stopped eating to impress, but I can say you succeeded you impressed me. I'm actually amazed you've gone this long without eating and you're still alive."

"It's not like I just stop not eating like that." She snapped her fingers at the word 'that'. " Do you have _any_ idea how hard it is t-to refuse to eat...and..." Her lowered her head back down. "Just go...I don't want to see you right now."

I didn't have to be told twice, I turned around and headed out of her house, to the waiting Sango and Mirkou.

"Is she alright?." Miroku asked, pulling out of the driveway.

"She'll be fine...if she actually gains some weight soon." I grunted.

"Kagura told us that tomorrow evening they are going to send her to Rehab. Which means you won't be seeing her for a while." Miroku added.

I looked at my wrist and grunted again, to angry to say or do anything.

Why would I care if she is send off to Rehab? After a fight like that, I doubt we were even lovers anymore.

Sighing, I lean back into the comfort of the car, letting my mind wonder to other things like what the people in school will think if they find out that, Rin Sakaru, of all people had decided to turn to Anorexia. If she's in rehab that'll mean that she'll have to have needles coming out of her arm and probably having a feeding tube shoved down her throat.

Pulling up into our driveway, I could almost hear my bed calling to me. This day, even in the last few minutes of it had been very tiering. Dragging my feet up the stairs and feeling a numbness in my legs that practically said, "I need rest" I complied and landed face forward onto my wonderfully awaiting pillow. Rest found me...but peace didn't.

I was startled early the next morning when I opened my eyes to see Sango in front of me.

"What do you want!" I said in a voice that clearly showed that I was very irritated for being woken up in such a manner.

"It's Rin, Kohaku see...she..." Sango didn't look me in the eye and she didn't even finish her sentence.

"What? Did she collapse again?"

"No, Kohaku...nobody can find her!." She said quickly.

"What!" I sat straight up in bed and almost banged my head into my sister.

"Sesshomaru had a feeling that something was wrong last night and went to check on her and when he opened the door...she was gone."

"Without a trace?"

"She did leave a note..."

"Sango come on! The car's warmed up, is he even up yet!" Miroku's voice rang throughout the small house.

"What is he talking about?" I asked, confused.

Sango let out an angry sigh. "Sesshoumaru wants you to help him find Rin, so obviously we're going to drop you off at his house."

"Why?"

Sango let out another angry sigh, "Just get ready!"

I groaned, a little annoyed of being awoken so early I said, "Alright, I'll be down in three minutes."

"Alright Kohaku. _Three_ minutes."

The drive there was fairly quick, since Sango was the one driving, she seemed to be the fastest driver in the country.

The Sakaru's door was open and you could feel that something was amiss. Getting out of the door in a rush, I hurried up and walked through the doorway and got a chill up my spine. This house reeked with sorrow. I could hear Kagura's sobbing coming from the kitchen. Slowly walking towards the chamber that held the sweet smell of coffee in the air, I turned the corner to see Sesshoumaru comforting Kagura, running a soothing hand up and down her back. I almost felt that I was barging in on them...they looked so peaceful and yet worried. How could Rin do this? I wondered idly if she had any idea just what she was putting her parents through.

Kagura sensed another presence in the room and turned around hopefully only to see that it was I, and not a police officer baring the news that they found her precious daughter.

Her eyes were a bright red, swollon from all the crying she had done. She gave a weak smile, as if I was a new hope for her daughters returnal.

"You are going to go with Sesshomaru and search for her. I would come but..." She rubbed her stomach. "The baby is due any day now."

"Kohaku, try not to argue with Sesshoumaru..." Sango whispered from behind."As you can tell he's in a bad mood...it'd be best not to say anything at all to him."

I nodded lightly and headed back outside, where Sesshoumaru quickly followed.

* * *

**_Rin's POV_**

I zipped my jacket up even more then it was when I started my journey of running away from home. Shivering, I slipped my fingers into the sleeve of my jacket. It was so windy and I didn't have anywhere to go.

If I went to Aunt Kikyou and Uncle Inuyasha's they'd instantly call Mom and Dad, Kagome wouldn't do any better, she'd probably ask me why I wasn't at school and why was I carrying a duffle bag and my backpack. Shiori, Kanna, and Souten would all be a bad choice as well. Not only were they at school at the time, but they to would also call my parents.

I quickly pulled out my wallet and counted the money I had in it. There wasn't much, only three hundred dollars, which I had been saving up since I turned fourteen.

Sighing, I put the money away. It was my lifeline now and I knew I had to save it until it was desperately needed.

My watched beep twice, telling me it was now ten, I had been walking for five hours, with a few breaks along the way and I had gotten no where.

I studied the busy street, in hope of an area to rest, and then it hit me; The subway.

It was perfect, I knew that there were benches to sit (and if needed, sleep) on while you waited for the sub to arrive. I could stay there until I was able to get back onto my feet.

Smiling broadly, I skipped down the stairs to my new home.

My smile faded once I entered the dirty subway, it wasn't exactly what I wanted it to look like. Fast food bags and candy wrappers would glide every time a gust of wind flew by, people were talking loudly and rushing past each other without a care in the world, others were either smoking or drinking, also not caring that they were giving the other's second-hand-smoke. At the far end of the long strip of waiting people, a few homeless looking teens were gathered in a corner, talking and laughing. The eldest of the group seemed to be no older then eighteen.

Shyly, I walked over to the group, hoping they would not be rude, but kind and willing to get to know me.

"Hi!." I said smiling, not wanting to look scared.

The eldest of the group, looked up at me and smiled. "Hey," he said.

Perfect, this was going the way I had hoped it would.

"I'm Rin...Rin Sakaru." I stuck out my hand.

The eldest stood up from the ground and took my hand in his. "I'm Riku, Yuudai Riku." He gently took my hand in his and gave another sweet smile.

He turned his head the other three people with him. "This is, Hikaru Rei..." he pointed to a young teenaged boy who looked about seventeen, with long blonde hair that was obviously bleached, "The one next to him is his girlfriend, Ostata, Mai," the seventeen year old girl smiled and waved, her shoulder length hair was dyed pink at the tips and was formed in a braid, "and last, this is Shima, Kiru." The last boy looked so much like Riku, that he could have been his younger brother, they had identical hair and eyes.

"So why aren't you in school, Rin?." Mai immediately asked me, shortly after Riku asked me to sit down.

I lowered my head and played with a loose string on my jacket. "I...well...I ran away from home. My parents were going to send me to Rehab...and...I just got so mad...so I ran away."

"Why would they send you to Rehab?." Kiru asked, tilting his head.

"Um...well...apparently I'm near death because of an Eating Disorder." What was I doing? I didn't know these people, and here I was, sharing my personal life with them.

"Oh, what Eating Disorder?." Asked, Mai.

"Anorexia." I quickly spurted.

Riku raised his eyebrows. "So that's why you're so pale and sickly looking!."

I frowned a little, I never did like it when people told me how sick I looked.

"So..." I said, in hope of changing the subject. "Why aren't you all in school?."

Mai and Rei both explained about their forbidden love and instead of Mai's parents sending her to an All Girls School, they decided to runaway together, in hope of starting a family.

Kiru came from an abusive family and instead of waiting for social workers to decided what would happen to him, he abandoned his past life.

Riku also came from an abusive family and had been on his own since he was fifteen. He also has a job with Mai and Rei and too is saving up money for a home so he could have somewhere to live, which Kiru would join as well so he wouldn't be alone.

I was stunned by each passing story.

"So...you have anyone looking for you, Rin?." Rei asked, curiously.

"Probably my over-protective Dad and...ex-boyfriend.." I wasn't even sure if Kohaku and I were finished, by I might as well declare it that way.

"Ex? What happened?." Asked, Riku, leaning closer towards me.

Taking a deep breathe, I told my story about my "Boyfriend" and Eating Disorders.

After telling my story, they allowed me to stay with them until I was also able to raise some more money of my own and rent a small apartment, though Riku was much more then happy to offer him a room in the one he had his eye on.

When it reached one in the afternoon, Mai, Kiru, and Rei all left for work and assured me that they would be back late in the night.

"Where do they work?." I asked, once they were out of earshot.

"Oh, they are janitors at one of those five star Restaurants."

"I see...and what do you do?."

"I'm an mechanic at a nearby twenty-four hour car-shop. I actually just got off my shift a few minutes before you came here." He said in a softer voice.

Pursing my lips together, I studied the busy subway, just to kill time. Every now and then people would give me strange looks and mutter things to the person next to them. Some of them would actually glare at us and say aloud "_Get a job_!" while a small amount would toss money to us.

"So...tell me about your 'ex-boyfriend'." Said Riku, shortly after another person told us to get a job.

"What?." I said stunned.

"Your ex, tell me about him. How did you two meet?." Riku moved to a more comfortable position, like his Mother was going to tell him a story.

"Oh...Kohaku. Well, when I first met him he was suicidal...you know, cutting himself and things like that. We met when I became his teenage consular. After he left the Hospital he was in a terrible car accident and I went to visit him everyday. I guess that's how it all started, we then began to grow attached to one another. After he said he 'loved me' in December we began to do everything together, even at times he'd become a little jealous when he'd notice other boys looking at me." I laughed a little remembering that day. "When I passed out in Gym class a while back, was when I think our relationship began to break. He never returned my calls, never came to visit me when I'd ask him to...then last night...he told me that I should go to a Hospital that would take care of my condition, right there I went crazy, ripped posters off my walls, tore off my bed sheets, my makeup was splattered all along the floor. Thankfully he left and didn't see my episode. When my Dad finally dragged him back into my room, I knew he was going to end it with me, so I stopped him by saying that I was proud of my Eating Disorders. So...that's what lead to me running away."

Riku blinked a few times in shock. To me, he seemed speechless and a little disturbed from my childish act.

From then on he asked me questions about my life and I asked about his, just to get to know him a little bit better then what he told me.

The time slipped by so fast, before I knew it, it was six o'clock.

I let out soft sighs every couple of minutes, indicating that I was a tad bored and a little depressed. Of course Riku didn't hesitate to comfort me and make sure I was entertained. Though I didn't mind talking, it did get a little annoying listening to his _long_ stories from when he was my age. I hated long stories, but he didn't need to know that.

After finishing his long story about his first love he asked me an intresting question; "Do you still love Kohaku?."

I was stunned, I barely knew Riku and here was asking me a question of love as though the three of us had been best friends since birth and one of the boys _finally_ decided to make a move, causing the other to drown in envy.

"W-well...I-I..." I bit my lip, what was I to say? The fire of romance between Kohaku and I was burning out and there wasn't anymore four hour long phone calls, passionate, lusty kissing, secret dates, or any other the other fun things we did anymore. What if I was to say no, and Kohaku still loved me? What if it was the other way around?

"Well?" He said, leaning closer towards me.

_Come on Rin, choose!_ A voice in my head hissed.

"I still love him, but as a brother now...since we've 'broken-up' we decided to keep a close bond!."

_Great lie, Rin. You know perfectally well that you and Kohaku do not keep a 'close bond'._

Riku's expression of questioning turned to a bright smile.

"Alright, I just wanted to know."

I returned the smile, but was stopped. My heart was pounding faster and faster with each passing second, as the pounding went faster it felt as though someone had stuck their hand through my chest and was now twisting my heart, as though they were trying to rip it out. I gasped and clutched the pain, tears began to flood from my eyes and I fell to the ground, gasping, crying, and still clutching the pain in my heart.

When I fell Riku began to panic. He shook my gently and began to call out my name.

"Rin! Rin! Are you alright? What's hapenning?."

I didn't reply, the pain was to unberable, now gasping for air hurt.

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

We had been searching the city all day and there was still no sign of her. Sesshoumaru made me call the school and all of her friends at least a dozen times before he realized that she _wasn't_ with them.

I was still bitter with Rin from the pervious night and as of now, could care less where she was. Yet a part of me secretly worried about Rin and was hoping that wherever she was, she was safe and out of harms way.

My watched beeped, it was now seven and I was growing tired of looking for her and sitting around in the car for so long.

"Should we give up until tomorrow?." I said hopfully to Sesshoumaru.

He didn't reply, he never did. Though when we were stuck at a red traffic light he'd mutter things to himself as though he was trying to perform some magic trick that he'd "summon" her towards him.

_It's her stupid fault..._

I thought bitterly to myself, wishing I could be at home watching a good horror movie with Miroku like we had planned.

_If sh__e didn't develop this stupid illness, we'd still be together, happy and healthy. Her dad wouldn't be blamming me for everything that happened in his family and Kagura would have less stress on her shoulders. Sango wouldn't be so noisy and Miroku would lay off on the doctor talk about average weight, height, and all that assorted crap of the average teen. Yes, if she wasn't self-conscious I know our lives would be easier..._

"This will be our last stop and I'll take you home." Said Sesshoumaru in a tired tone of voice.

We pulled up at a gritty part of town, the buildings there were old and worn down, like they had been there for several decades. On the street were a few old fast food resturants, a dance club and a subway at the end of the street. I quickly jumped out othe car and began entering every building on one side of the street in search for Rin, while Sesshoumaru searched the other side.

"Do you want to check the subway?." I asked, noticing that Sesshoumaru was heading back to the car.

"No, she's terrified of them."

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't mean she won't go in one."

Sesshoumaru turned back to me and opened his mouth to argue, but instead of a cold threat or comment, a cry of a teenaged boy filled the air.

"Help! I need help, I think she's having a heart attack!."

_She_.

Could it be Rin? Anorexia could cause heart failiure after all.

I turned my heal and raced towards the voice, my own heart pounding faster and faster of fear that I could be just a little to late and would lose her because of my foolishness.

Coming up from the steps of the subway, I saw a boy in his late teens, holding a small frail figure in his arms, whose chest was moving up and down at a rapid pace.

It _was _Rin.

I stood in my tracks, breathless and in shock, my mind was going blank and I felt as though my eyes were quickly studying every aspect of my surroundings, trying to avoid the dying figure in front of me. My breathing then began to pick up when I saw a clear view of her face, pale everywhere except for her eyes, which where puffy and red with tears pouring out of them.

The boy came up to me, tears were also streaming down from his face.

"Can you drive? I need to take her to the Hospital!." He cried, clutching her shoulders tighter.

I shook my head to get focused again. "No...but _he_ can take you there." I pointed to Sesshoumaru who was studying my every move, unaware that the dying girl was his own daughter.

"Thank you!." He said, quickly as he rushed towards Sesshoumaru and begged for a ride to the Emergency room. I followed the boy, into Sesshoumaru's car. Obviously in the short amount of time Rin had met this boy, he had fallen for her.

While we drove quickly to the Hospital. He must have still been unaware that it was Rin. Within ten minutes we arrived to the Emergency Room and the boy carried her in after thanking us half a dozen times.

"You don't know who that girl is, do you?." I said cooly to Sesshoumaru.

"Why would I even want to know? I have my own daughter to worry about."

I clenched my fists together. "Because she _is_ your daughter! How could you not notice?" Without any warnings, I jumped out of the car and raced after the boy and Rin.

After running around the Hospital, I found the boy sitting in a chair alone, tears were still streaming down his face. It wasn't after a minute of me staring at him in anger that he noticed I was there.

"Oh..." he said, wiping his nose on his dirty sleeve, "did you come to make sure she was alright?."

I sucked on my lip and unraveled my fists.

"Yeah...I did..."

* * *

Author's note- (Sighs) Once again, I am so sorry about the wait and now I've left you all with a cliffhanger...but on the bright side I was able to get two chapters of my top stories up tonight...good thing right? ...No, lol, I didn't think you fans would be pleased (And not to worry, Rin isn't dead! Just because in recent manga chapters she died for a second time, doesn't mean I'm going to follow it.)

Anyway, thank you for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha.

Author's notes - Alright, I am clearing up once again that though Rin has had a heart attack she is not dead. I am once more sorry for putting the story off for so long and I promise to update more often. (Laughs) I remember when I first started writing this story I had all my holidays matched up perfectly, now it's all messed up thanks to my absence.

**Happy (but not so important) News -** Suicidal Love has finally reached 100 reviews! Thank you song-within-my-heart for giving me my 100th review for this story. "OMG this is getting intense!! I must read more" (Laughs) Well, I'm glad that I've written this story to your liking that you can hardly stop.

* * *

**_Kohaku's POV_**

After running around the Hospital, I found the boy sitting in a chair alone, tears were still streaming down his face. It wasn't after a minute of me staring at him in anger that he noticed I was there.

"Oh..." he said, wiping his nose on his dirty sleeve, "did you come to make sure she was alright?."

I sucked on my lip and unraveled my fists.

"Yeah...I did..."

The boy wiped his nose again. "The girl has Anorexia...I think that's what caused her to have the heart attack."

"I know..." I said, looking down at the clean floor.

"How? Do you know her?" The boy looked at me with full attention.

"Oh, no. I don't know her. I was trailing, sorry. What I meant to say was 'I noticed'." I was sure that Rin had told this boy about me and if I said that I was her boyfriend the boy would become outraged that I let my own girlfriend develop a disease.

"Oh. Do you wanna sit down?" He scooted his body over to make more room.

"Yeah, thanks." I sat down. "I'm K-...Karasu." I made up a fake name, just in case.

"I'm Riku Yuudai." He said. "I met Rin, the girl, down in the subway this morning."

My eyebrows raised. "This morning? She's just a teenager isn't she, wasn't she supposed to be in school?"

Riku nodded. "Yeah, but, she's a runaway."

"Runaway? From what?"

"She said she was running away from her family, who want to place her in rehab and her ex-boyfriend."

_Ex? So we are officially over now?_

"I see...well...do you..._love_ her?" It was hard to ask that to another person about Rin.

Riku was silent for the next while. "It's dumb, because we just met, but yeah...I love her..."

_So he does love her. My Rin...he's in love with my Rin..._

"I see..." Was all I was able to say.

A doctor soon came out from the room next to where we where sitting. He was covered in sweat and looked tired.

"Is Rin alright?!" Riku asked, jumping out of the chair.

The doctor shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I'm not sure. At the height of 5"6 and having a small frame, she should weigh around 120lbs to 130lbs. She only weighs 82lbs. I'm even amazed the girl managed to survive this long. We've done all we can for her, I'm sorry."

Riku's face turned white and he sat back down into the chair. "She's only a teenager...she can't die..."

The doctor rubbed his temples and sighed. "She's sleeping right now, but I'll allow you to see her."

Riku and I thanked the doctor and walked into the hospital room. It was a horrifying site to see Rin laying there, flat as a bored, sickly skin, sunken face, and iv's and tubes in her body.

"R-Rin..." Riku gasped and rushed over to her. I, on the other hand stood in the doorway looking at the woman I love with horrified eyes.

Sesshoumaru quickly stormed through the door, nearly walking into me. He didn't say a word as he walked up to his daughter. He only pushed Riku and I out of the way and sat down next to his daughter.

"Who the hell are you?" Riku asked

He didn't answer, he kept his eyes fixed on his daughter.

"I asked you a question. Who the hell are you?" Riku lifted up his arm to hit Sesshoumaru to grab his attention but I quickly made my way over to stop him.

"That's Rin's dad...can't you tell?"

He raised an eyebrow at Sesshoumaru, and then sat in the second chair that was by the television in the room.

"How does it feel, Sesshoumaru?" I asked, peering down at her body. "To have your daughter dying and knowing there isn't a thing you can do."

"Yes, Kohaku. How _does_ it feel to know that once more in your life, someone who love is going to die and there isn't a thing _you_ can do?"

My eyes narrowed and I gave him a glare from behind.

"What is he talking about? You know Rin?" Riku stood up from the chair.

I nodded. "Yes...Rin is...was, my girlfriend."

"So you lied to me?"

"What's your point?" I asked. "If I told you the truth it wouldn't change anything."

"She said it was for you. You're the bastard that did this to her! You could've stopped her, but instead you watched her disappear in front of you. And then blame her dad on it."

My eyes trailed up to Rin's monitor and that me her heart rate. "Whatever..."

There was then a buzzing noise that filled the room. Riku jumped from being startled and my eyes darted down to Sesshoumaru's jacket. His cell was ringing, it was probably Kagura asking if we had found Rin yet.

"Hello?"

I couldn't hear the voice on the other line, I was only able to make out a bit of the voice on the other line, it was full of panic. Kagura's water must've broken.

"Right. I'll be there right away...North?...I'm at the East...I'll explain later." He hung up his cell and stood up. "Kagura's water has broken and she's going to have the baby...watch over Rin...I'll send your sister over to pick you up when I reach the North hospital."

"You're just going to leave?" I protested.

"My wife is having a child. She needs me there."

"And Rin doesn't?!"

"She has you doesn't she?"

I stayed silent and sat down where Sesshoumaru was sitting.

"You better survive Rin..." I touched her cold as death hand with my warm one. "Don't you want to see your new sibling? You'll be a big sister soon."

I was hoping Rin would answer me, but she only stayed silent her body barely moving with her breathing.

"Do you think she'll survive the night?" Riku pulled the chair he was sitting in up beside me.

"I don't know...it doesn't look like it though." I replied, not looking up.

"So...how did you meet Rin?" He asked.

"I met Rin while I was in the hospital, she was my consular. When I was released, we stayed close and then began a secret relationship."

"Why secret?"

"Well...you saw who her dad was. He wasn't to fond of the idea of me dating his daughter."

"He found out though?"

I nodded. "Yeah, the first time she passed out...everyone had clued in by then. I'm guessing you met her in the subway shortly after she ran away?"

He nodded. "Yeah...I mean, we only have known each other for a few hours, but I felt something special in her. So...her mom is having a baby?"

Once more I nodded. "Yeah, they've been trying for a while to get pregnant. Rin was thrilled when she found out. She always wanted to be a big sister."

"Trying for a while? You mean Rin is adopted?"

"Yeah. Maybe that's why she developed the disorder. She thought she was going to be replaced."

"Or her boyfriend was looking at thinner woman?"

I glared at Riku. "What, did she actually tell you _why_ she has the disorder?"

He didn't reply, it was an obvious no.

* * *

"Mr, Anberu. There is a phone call for you." A nurse walked into the room carrying a piece of paper that carried the information of my call. "Just pick up the phone and press 'line' and the number 'four.' You're caller will be waiting for you." 

I did as I was told, it was probably Sango with information on the baby.

"Hello?"

"Kohaku! Kagura had her babies." Sango said in an ecstatic voice.

"Babies? You mean she had twins?" I said in surprise. Kagura was rather _large_ in her pregnancy, I thought it was just because the baby was going to be big.

"Yes. She had twin boys." She said proudly. "They're so _adorable_! With little fluff of jet black hair and dark brown eyes. Just like their mother."

"What did she name them?"

"Takeaki and Takito." Sango said proudly. "You should see them Kohaku! Oh, it makes me want to have one of my own." There was a muffled noise on the other end of the phone. "No Miroku, not here!" Sango laughed. "Now he's really eggar to go home, he thinks I'll finally give in to bare his children. Anyway, Sesshoumaru told me that you're at the North Tokyo hospital. How come?"

I gulped. "Um...well...we found Rin."

Sango gasped before I finished. "She's not dead is she? Is she alright?"

"We're not sure. She had a heart-attack and might not survive the night or even this upcoming week."

"Oh my god..." Was all Sango could say.

"I assume that Sesshoumaru hasn't told Kagura yet."

"N-no. I'll be right over...I need to make a quick stop at our house. Is there anything you need?"

"My walkman...and bring the CD's next to it please. It's on my dresser."

"Right...I'll be there in about an hour."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and sat back down in my chair.

"Her mom had twins huh?" Riku asked.

I nodded. "Do you plan on staying the entire night here?"

"Yes. Are you?"

"Yeah..."

"Why did you ask the person on the other line to bring you walkman?"

I yawned. It had been such a long day and was going to be an even longer night. "If I'm going to stay by Rin's side I want something to listen to."

Sango arrived an hour and a half later, there wasn't a cheerful expression on her face. She looked dull, tired, and scared.

"Before I left, Sesshoumaru told Kagura about Rin." She started, setting the walkman and CD's on the stand next to us. "She didn't take it to well."

"I didn't think she would."

Sango gave a small yawn. "Since the babies are healthy and have nothing wrong with them she'll probably be coming home tomorrow afternoon." She glanced at Rin's body and backed away with a horrified look upon her face. "And she'll visit...if Rin survives the night..." Her eyes then darted over to Riku. "Who's he?"

"A boy that she met while she was in the subway. Apparently, he's fallen in love with her and was also there when Rin's heart attack occurred."

"Fallen in love with her? In only a short period of time?"

I nodded. "I know, I don't get it either...so are you heading home?"

"Yes, it's been a long day and I have to go to work tomorrow. I want to stay here with you and Rin, but Miroku and I don't want to risk losing our jobs." She bent down and kissed my forehead. "On my way out I'll have a cot brought in so you can sleep comfortably in the room."

The cot was brought to her room half an hour later. It was already midnight and I was drained of energy.

"You're going to sleep?" Asked Riku in disbelief.

"I'm tired and I've been up since three in the morning...why?"

He shook his head. "Never mind. Just if she was _my_ girlfriend I wouldn't rest until I knew she was well again."

I rolled my eyes and placed my headphones upon my ears and laid down on the bed. I wasn't going to let him get to me.

That night, Ayumi sung me to sleep. Her voice calmed me down and sleep came peacefully to me for the first time since Rin first passed out.

* * *

I awoke early the that morning. It was only eight and the hospital was quiet. Riku was sleeping in an uncomfortable position in the chair and Rin was still resting in the hospital bed. She had thankfully survived the night. 

She looked so beautiful sleeping on the bed, even with the IV's and tubes in her body.

I pulled the headphones off of my ears and placed them on her own. "You always did love music." I placed the CD she had given me for Christmas in the player and went to track.09. Moments. The music was placed on a low so it wouldn't harm her ears, but that she was still able to hear it.

"This was our song...I'd listen to it for hours at a time when we weren't together, remembering the first time we sang it together and when we saw Ayumi sing it live in front of us for the holidays." I smiled. "Some say, that when you talk to a person, or play music for them while the are in a coma or dreaming, they'll wake up."

Only her chest, which showed that she was breathing, moved.

"I didn't think it would work..." Moments was now over and the CD had moved to its' next track. "There is a song I want you to hear though..." I reached over to the night stand and grabbed a burnt disc. "I was saving this for your birthday, but by the looks of it, you won't make it that far."

I felt so stupid for talking to her. It was no different from talking to a corpse.

"It's called Yumemiru Tameni...I think you'll like it." I set the CD player to go to the last track on the disc.

Faintly, I heard the peaceful song begin to play, and once again Rin's body didn't show any new movement of life.

_This is stupid. You know she's not going to wake up Kohaku. And to think you were going to play this on the night you were going to..._

"Rin isn't any better yet?" Riku had finally woken up.

"No. Not yet."

"Why are there headphones on her ears?" He pointed to my player.

"Oh!" I quickly took the headphones off, the song was almost done anyway. "I just thought...never mind."

Riku raised one of his eyebrows. "Okay..."

"Still nothing?" I heard Miroku's voice fill the room. He and Sango must've come to check up on us.

I shook my head. "No, not yet. How's Kagura and the babies?"

"Um...they're all good. They'll be here in an hour or so. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Yes."

"Sango is down in the gift shop. Are you hungry? I can call her and tell her to pick something up."

"No, I'm good. Do you think it'd be okay, Miroku, if you took me to the jewelry store where you bought Sango's wedding ring?" I could tell that I had now confused Riku and Miroku.

"Sure I can take you." Miroku finally said after an awkward silence opened. "Let me tell Sango where we're going and then we'll leave." He pulled out his cell phone and dialed my sisters number.

"What are going to get a jewelry store?" Riku asked. "A ring maybe?"

"It's none of your concern what I'm going to buy." I said cooly.

"That's what it is. I can tell. Remember idiot, you two are no longer together." He said angrily. "If she recovers from this, I doubt she'll want to see you again, let alone _marry_ you."

I rolled my eyes. "Who said it was an engagement ring? Did you ever think that I'd just like to buy something nice for her?"

"Kohaku, are you ready?" Miroku called.

I shot Riku one last glare. "Yes."

"Kohaku, are you going to-

"No. What makes you think that? It's just a congratulations for recovering gift." I snapped at him before he could finish his question.

"What if she doesn't recover?"

"Well..." I thought for a moment "She can at least be buried with something nice."

_Am I really going to buy this? Buy a ring for a girl who may not recover, and if she did, not want to even see or speak to me again? Was it worth the money? Was it even worth spending a small fortune on her?_ _If she does recover, would she even accept the ring? Riku...would she be happier with him?_

"Hello, may I help you?" An shortly elderly woman greeted us as we walked into the store.

I was still in daze of my thoughts and didn't realize she was talking to me.

"Kohaku, the lady wants to know if she can help you." Miroku nudged my ribs.

"Oh, sorry!" I snapped back into reality. "Um, well I'm looking for an..." My eyes shifted up to Miroku, who had, like Riku, caught on that it was going to be an engagement ring. "...engagement ring."

The woman smiled and clasped her hands together. "How sweet. Let me guess...childhood sweethearts?"

"No..." I said embarrassed. Rin and I were nothing close to childhood sweethearts, if anything we were suicidal sweethearts.

"Oh." The woman continued to smile and began to pull out small displays of rings. "Do you know her size?"

"Yes. Well...I think I do. As of now she's most likely a size three or four. If things go to plan she'll grow into a size seven or eight."

"My, she has such tiny fingers!" The woman exclaimed. "Well, let me see what I have here...Oh! Here we go!" She pulled out a small display of silver banded, diamond rings. "I hardly sell rings of that size so my collection is small."

"It will do, thank you." I began to carefully look at each ring. "How did you choose one for Sango?"

"Simple. I chose the most beautiful one there was, to represent the most beautiful woman in Japan." He smiled. "Personally, I like this _small_ one on the left." Miroku pointed to the smallest ring. "It's very fitting for her. Small, and beautiful."

"Perfect..." was all I could say.

"Have you chosen?" The lady came back to the display.

I nodded and pointed to the tiny ring. "The smallest on the left. It's perfect."

She smiled and placed the ring in a box and handed it to me. "That's five hundred yen."

I pulled out my wallet. I had been saving up my money for so many years and gave around half to the elder. In exchange I was given a beautiful ring that would hopefully bring Rin and I together.

* * *

"Oh, Kohaku, there you are! Do you want to see the babies?" Sango said in a cheerful voice and pointed to the twins that Kagura was holding. 

I was amazed that in the short time period I was gone the hospital room was filled. Sango, Kagome, Kagura, the twins, Sesshoumaru, and Riku were all in the room.

"Um, okay..." I held out my arms so I'd be able to one of the babies. Kagome brought me the child.

"This is Takeaki," She beamed proudly, gently handing me the baby. Sango was behind her, holding who must have been Takito.

The infant was an exact replica of Kagura and Sesshoumaru. Dark black hair and deep beady brown eyes. "He's cute." Was all I said.

_Rin will never be able to have children thanks to Anorexia, the one thing almost every girl wants; a child of their own and she'll never be able to become impregnated after this._

Takito was handed to me next, he was constantly stretching and moving his body around as if he was playing with a dog.

"Has the doctor given any news about Rin?" I asked, instead of telling Kagura that this child to was adorable.

Kagome shook her head. "The doctor did say something..."

"What did he say?"

She pursed her lips together and didn't reply. No one else said a word in the room, Sango had taken Takito back and sat down next to Kagome, who was carrying Takeaki.

"Is she going to live?"

Kagura shook her head.. "Kohaku, they're even surprised she managed to live past the night. And believe she'll be lucky enough if she lives through this up coming week. Her heart rate has increased a bit but not enough to satisfy them."

"Oh..." I slowly walked up to Rin's peaceful body. There still wasn't any color in her face. Was she going to die on me? Before I even had the chance to say that I was sorry? I didn't want it to end like this.

All of a sudden the twins started crying. Kagura, Kagome, and Sango rushed to a mother's air room that was down the hall.

Were they crying because they knew their sister wasn't going to make it?

I laced my hand in hers and lifted it up to my face. I breathed softly onto it, warming it up a little. "Your brothers are going to never know their sister Rin.."

Her hand twitched a little, and her face tightened up. Was she waking up?

"K-kohaku?...W-where am I?"

* * *

Author's notes - Okay, obviously I do not know how to count yen into dollars, but whatever works. Sorry for cutting it off like that, but I needed to end the chapter or it would've dragged on and become so boring. (Not to mention I'm dead on idea's and a new Naruto is on! Sakura's getting some big screen time in this episode..I think...lol)

Thank you for reading.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer - I do not own Inuyasha or the song 'Yumemiru Tameni' they belong to Rumiko Takahashi and some artist I do not know of, but it's not mine for sure.

Author's notes - Sorry I haven't been updating this story that much. I've been highly depressed with the Inuyasha series now over. So here we go - Chapter fourteen, the _final_ chapter of this story.

Oh, and please let us take a brief moment to remember Ana Carolina Reston, a model who died from Anorexia Nervosa at age 21 and weighing in at only 88lbs on Tuesday 14th 2006. May she rest in peace.

* * *

**_Rin's POV_**

Was it all just a dream? It had to be, I knew for sure that if I was to open my eyes, there would be Kohaku sitting by my bed, making sure I was better from my sickness that made me have that dream. It was impossible to swallow, why? Opening my eyes I realized that my dream wasn't over and that it may have become worse.

I wasn't in my house with Kohaku or mom waiting to for me to wake up. It was a white room with a large window.

Shifting my eyes to the side I saw several IV's stuck in my arms and monitors that beeped, giving off information of my heart and condition. Another monitor had two long clear tubes coming from it that went deep into my throat.

What was this?

"K-kohaku?..." I gasped out in panic. "...Where am I?" It was impossible to speak with the tubes down my throat and I'm sure it came off to him as more of a muffled noise then words.

"Rin? You're alive!" Kohaku grabbed my hand and carefully held it close to him.

He looked so strange. His hair wasn't neatly pulled back into a ponytail, it was a mess and looked like it hadn't been brushed in days, he was dirty, thick gray bags hung under his eyes and a weird odor came off of him. Behind him I saw dad, no compassion or any emotion crossed his face. Wasn't he happy I was awake from whatever happened to me? I darted my eyes across the room, and on Kohaku's other side was Riku. He looked just bad as Kohaku, but I believed that was just from him being homeless. In the strange room I wasn't able to find mom. Was she having the baby?

"Where am I?" I breathed out again.

Kohaku caressed my hand. "In the hospital. You had a heart-attack. Sesshoumaru and I were looking for you around the subways when we found Riku carrying your body saying that you had the attack. We took you to the hospital...they said you wouldn't even survive the night."

I tried to stay calm. My heart attack was real after all. "Whe..where is my mom?"

Kohaku pointed to the bathroom behind him. "Taking care of the babies."

"Babies?"

He nodded. "Your mom had twin boys."

"How long have I been in the hospital?"

"Only about a day...but a lot happened."

I tried to keep my emotions in order. Right now I wanted nothing more then to be in Kohaku's arms and cry my heart out. I had almost died without seeing my baby brothers. Mom would be in such a state of depression for sure.

"Kagura! Rin's awake!" Kagome's voice was the next thing I heard. In her arms was a small bundle wrapped in a ocean blue blanket. My brother was in her arms.

Mom came out of the bathroom without a baby in her arms, she rushed over to me and had pushed Kohaku and Sesshoumaru out of the way. "Rin!" She called out, as she bent down and gently wrapped her arms around my body. When she pulled away from my body I saw a rim of tears around her eyes.

"I was afraid Takito and Takeaki would never be able to meet their big sister." She mumbled.

From the bathroom I saw Sango carry out my other brother. He was also wrapped in an ocean blue blanket. As much as I wanted to see my brothers, I wanted to get these tubes out of my throat.

"Why do I have these down my throat?" I asked, hoping at least one of them.

"It's feeding you." Riku said. "These tubes are giving you nutrition so that you'll actually live."

My eyes grew wide. "No."

"No?" Kohaku said. "Rin, after that heart-attack, you don't want to recover?"

I slowly shook my head. "I don't want to be fat, I want to be thin, I _need_ to be thin." Tears began to build up in my eyes. It was so weird confessing this to my family and friends, but what good was I at 82lbs? If I weighed less I'd be even closer to perfection.

"You _need_ to? Rin, you almost died the other night doesn't that change your point of view?" I could tell Kohaku was frustrated with me now.

"No."

Kohaku clenched his fists together and turned around. "Why did I bother?" He muttered, storming out of the room.

As Kohaku left me in the room, I saw Riku smile.

My eyes studied everyone's expressions. Dad slowly shook his head in shame and mom bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears the welled up in her eyes. Miroku, Sango, and Kagome just stood there in silence, unsure what to really say.

"Oh, Miss, Sakaru is awake?"

Everyones heads turned to the doctor that stood in the doorway. He was an elder man who seemed to be at least fifteen years older then my dad. A large smile was upon his slightly wrinkled face. "Miss, Sakarku, it's nice to see you awake and alive." He walked into the room and pushed everyone aside so he could get closer to me. "You're defiantly a lucky one to have survived the night." He tapped the heart monitor and eyed my body before turning to my mom. "If you want your daughter to live to her next birthday I suggest you send her to the Eating Disorder clinic on the other side of town."

She glanced down at me and nodded. "Of course, when can we transfer her?"

The doctor tapped my heart monitor again. "As soon as I un-hook her from these machines if you'd like? Her heart rate is now at sixty. Still a little low but better then what it was."

"Do it now then." Dad said with a hint of happiness in his voice. "The sooner she's in Rehab, the better."

I glared at my dad. He was going to take all my hard work away from me, just so I would gain all that weight I spent so long shedding off of my body. He's not even my real dad, he had no right at all to enforce me into things I did not want, I wasn't his child to control.

"Alright then." The doctor pulled off from his belt and sent a message for a nearby nurse to come assist him, a male nurse came into the room three minutes later.

"You'll all need to leave though. Most parents don't seem to fond of us when they see us pulling out of IV's and tubes from their childs' body."

One by the one everyone left me so they medical workers would be able to remove the items in my body. I was overcome with fear of the tube brushing against something in my body that would cause me to choke on it or worse. Carefully the Doctor gave the Nurse instructions on how to remove the tube and IV's in my throat, while he glanced between my heart rate and the tube every now and then.

When the tube was out I was finally able to breathe normally again, I gasped for air and enjoyed not having the tube down my throat. "Thank god." I said after inhaling another breath of air.

The Nurse handed me my clothes. "It's a long drive to the Eating Disorder clinic." He said. "You'll probably want to wear some real clothes."

I thanked him and wobbly walked over the bathroom to change my clothes.

Slipping out of the Hospital gown and I looked into the mirror with disgust. They were fussing over nothing. My body stood there with fat hanging from every angle of my body, my arms was covered with large amounts of fat that hung from my arms as I brought them up to brush my hair. They were sending me to gain more weight even when I was already fat enough?

I slipped into my clothing with hate towards myself, my family, and my friends. They were holding me back from what I wanted. My ribs were finally visible through all my fat, and they wanted to take that away? Why?

* * *

_**Kohaku's POV**_

"They're sending Rin the a clinic where she'll become healthy again." Sango said, still holding Kagura's baby. "It'll be back to when both of you were healthy. Won't that be nice?"

"I don't even know if she'll want to even talk to me when this is over." I mumbled, pulling out the small black box where her engagement ring was held. "She probably won't even accept the ring."

"Ring? Kohaku, what do you plan on doing with that?" Sango's eyes grew wide. "You're not going to ask her to marry you are you?"

"It was something I was going to ask her after we made up from this argument." I flipped open the box to show her the ring, in which she gasped in delight from. "Riku doesn't think she'll accept the ring either."

"Riku? You mean that boy in Rin's hospital room?"

I nodded. "She met him in the subway, where she was going to stay for a while. He was with her when we found Rin, and if it wasn't for him asking for us to take her to the Hospital, she probably wouldn't even be alive."

Sango pursed her lips together. "I'm sure she'll accept the ring."

I shoved it back into my pocket. "I heard Rehab is something that takes a long thing to recover from...do you think she'll move on and not love me anymore by the time she gets out?" This was _girl_ talk, what was I doing, asking Sango if Rin would still love me?

"I'm sure she will." Sango rubbed my head like when we were little. "Come on, I'm gonna go get a bowl of Ice-cream from the cafeteria downstairs before we take Rin to the clinic, do you want some?"

"Sure..." If I denied the ice-cream I'm sure Rin would have a fit about it if she saw everyone else licking a cone and me just standing there, telling her to go gain some weight.

"Here, hold Takito while I go get it. Just plain Chocolate, right?"

I nodded. "Of course."

Waiting for Sango to return with my ice-cream and everyone else to come back with Rin, I grew bored and annoyed at the comments of people asking if I was a teenage-parent who was holding their new child. With each person who asked that I'd glare and say that I was waiting for an Anorexic girl to get out of her room. Their eyes would quickly grow and they'd rush off in a whisper.

"Here you go! Cookies 'n' Cream for me and Chocolate for!" Sango said cheerfully as she handed the cone to me.

"Thanks..." I took it and slowly began to lick it, being cautious of the sleeping baby in my arms and careful not to spill any on him.

"Oh...and we're taking Riku to the clinic with us?" Sango said, swirling her tongue over the ice-cream.

"What?" I said, remembering the infant.

Sango shrugged. "Sesshoumaru and Kagura can't take him. With Kagome and the two car seats, there won't be any room in that tiny care. Besides, it'll just be you, Miroku, and I. Riku will only take up one more spot."

"And what about Rin?"

"She's also coming with us, you don't mind do you?"

I licked my ice-cream to stop it from melting off it's base and onto the baby. "Of course not..."

Sango smiled. "Why don't you propose to her once we get to the clinic? That will be so romantic, she'll be so inspired to—

"Lose more weight." I said. "It'll just inspire her to lose more."

"What makes you say that?"

"Don't you girls want to slim down for weddings and special occasions like that?" I mumbled.

"Sometimes..."

"Exactly. She'll just be inspired."

"But she's going into _Rehab_. She'll dispose of the disease."

"No, it'll still be with her...it just won't be controlling her mind anymore."

A light _ding_ from the nearby elevator showed us that everyone was now coming down to take Rin to the clinic. Bitterly, she stood in the back, her arms crossed and her head lowered.

Takeaki was no longer in Kagome's arms but now in his fathers who held him closely and carefully. Kagura and Riku walked out of the elevator in a deep conversation and continued to carry it even when they saw us. Miroku and Kagome where carrying the two car seats for the babies as well as their diaper bags and Kagura's purse.

"Ready?" Sango asked.

Kagome nodded since no one else dared to move or make a sound. Riku and Kagura finished their conversation as soon as my sister asked.

One by one, each of us piled into the cars. Takito was handed to his mother who carefully strapped her babies into their seats which soon followed by Kagome's body. Sango and I where now finished with our ice-cream and pilled into our own car. Miroku took the drivers, while Sango took her not so typical passages seat. Rin took the seat behind Miroku's, leaving Riku and I to fight over who took the seat next to her. Taking my chance, I pushed Riku out of the way and quickly buckled myself into the middle seat next to her. Leaving a pissed off Riku to sit next to me.

"Rin, you know this is for the best, right?" I mumbled as we left the parking lot.

She turned her head away from my gaze and stared out at the window. "I thought you'd support me in this. It means so much to me..."

"What means to much to you?"

"Perfection..." was her only word.

"Sorry." I mumbled. "I just don't see how starving your body is perfection..." Slowly, I reached my hand towards her and warmed her ice cold one with my hot one. "But you know I think you're beautiful no matter what."

Sango gave a small giggle, which I knew she was trying to keep in.

Rin kept silence.

"Did you hear the song I played for you last night? Yumemiru Tameni?"

"No...I guess I was in to deep of a sleep to hear anything..."

"Would you like to hear it now?" I reached for my CD player and headphones.

"I guess. It'll probably be the last piece of music I hear for a long time..."

I gently placed the headphones upon her gentle ears and went to the right track number and played the song for her. As the beat played she closed her eyes and tilted her head back with enjoyment from the song. I saw her body move to the beat as if she knew the song already off by heart. When the song ended and she returned the headphones she seemed happy for the first time since her episode.

"What a beautiful song..." She mumbled, slightly singing the beat as she spoke.

"Yeah..."

"Is there a certain reason of why you wanted me to hear it?"

I shrugged. "Not really...I just thought you'd like it."

She smiled. "You were right though."

Riku glared at me, arms crossed with the same pissed off look on his face.

As we pulled into the clinic I could tell Rin was nervous, she began to breathe at a fast pace and she squeezed my hand.

"It'll be alright...I whispered."

Everyone slowly exited their cars. It was now back to that depressed surrounding. Kagura and Sesshoumaru held their babies in their arms and waited for Rin to come out of our car. Kagome was wiping tears from her eyes. Sango had rushed out to comfort her, while Miroku just stood beside them.

"You have to go in there you know." I said. In the car was Rin, Riku, and I.

"I know...but I don't want to."

"You'll still be beautiful." Riku said, as if he was Rin's boyfriend and was constantly telling her that she was beautiful.

"Thank you, Riku." She mumbled, I guess she was also confused about how and why Riku was still with us through all of this.

"There's a surprise you'll get if you go into recovery." I reached over and opened her door. "You just have to walk up to the entrance."

"Will I like it?" She asked, curiousity getting the better of her.

"I hope you will."

After much difficulty Rin finally agreed to go to the entrance only if she was given the gift before she entered "Hell" as she called it.

Walking Rin up to the entrace took a while, with every couple of steps she would walk backwards saying that no gift was worth gaining weight for. When she was finally at the entrance I eyed Sango and gave a light nod. She smiled and whispered something to Kagome and Miroku who lost their depressed expressions and grew smiles.

Unsure what I was supposed to do, I bent down onto one knee and pulled out the box.

"Rin..." I started, having no idea where this was going to end up. "I'm not really sure how to say this...but I want to tell you that you mean so much to me, and that this gift _is_ something to gain weight for." I opened the box to show off the small engagment ring I bought for her. "If you recover from this disease and after we graduate from school, I want to know...will you marry me?"

Rin gasped and brought her hand to her mouth, the surviving color in her face left and tears began to build up in her eyes. "K-kohaku..." She stuttered out, holding out her hand for me to apply the ring to. "O-of course I will."

Gently, I applied the ring to her finger and stood back onto my two feet. Thankfully she did the next move and embraced my body into a joyful and warm hug, thanking me and saying "I do" over and over again.

I turned my head to the side to see everyone's reactions.

Kagome and Sango had a joyful smile upon their face, their fingers laced in each others and trying to hold back the fit of giggles I knew that were about to burst. Miroku stood proudly next to my sister and gave me a 'thumbs up' in approval of my move. Kagura nearly dropped the baby she was holding and her jaw was dropped as far as it could go, her eyes as large as could be as well. Riku's reaction was how I expected it to be. He still stood there, arms crossed and a bitter, hateful look upon his face. His eyes gave me a small threat. Sesshoumaru's reaction was the one I feared most. Her fathers eyes didn't shift at all, he stood there holding his child almost as if he didn't hear my proposal to Rin.

"You know that if you want to get married...you have to recover right?" I said, prying her body away with no effort at all.

She frowned. "But, in my wedding gown I want to be so thin and beautiful."

"But you're already thin and beautiful. You'd much more attractive if you gained some weight though."

"B-but..." She bit her lip.

"Please, Rin?"

She sighed. "I'm not going to like it and I'll fight through the whole thing..argue, curse and at times hate you for making me do this..."

"But it will be worth it all." I kissed her forehead and gently pulled her into the clinic.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_It's hard to believe that I'm finally reaching the ending of the pages in this book. We've been through so much together and now I have to say good-bye. _

_Things have been good within these last couple of months as you know. Rei and Mai are still together. Rei enlisted into the military and works with dad now. Mai went back to school and is learning to become a Hair-stylist...weird profession but I'm very proud of her. Kiru was placed into a foster home last weekend and now happily sleeping on a comfortable bed. I feel so much more sadness whenever I see someone who's homeless now...We were finally able to have Riku leave us alone...lately as you know he's been bothering Kohaku and I non-stop about how I could 'do better.' I'm amazed he just gave up. I don't know what's going on with him now but I'm sure he's doing great where ever he is._

_I start my new job as a Eating Disorder Therapist in two weeks and I'm really nervous about this, to tell these young boys and girls that they should recover from it since I was one who hated those people two years ago. Gasp! I don't think I mentioned ever what Kohaku was going to do, did I? He's going to become a therapist as well. Isn't that wonderful? We'll both be therapist and changing lives. It'll be rough I know, but I'm up for that challenge._

_The twins are doing good as well, they just recovered from their cold. They look so adorable with their red noses, if the cold wasn't so dreadful, I wished they'd stay like that forever. But since they are better now, teaching them how to carry the ring with Inumaru has become a lot eassier._

_As I write this final entry mom is currently doing my hair up into a bun like the girls at Prom. She's even going to add small red flowers to match the theme of Red Roses Kohaku and I chose for our wedding. I can't believe it's today...wearing my gown I still look in the mirror and feel like I could afford to lose a bit of weight, but I know Kohaku is oddly satisfied with my body no matter what. I'm ending the bottom of this page...and I must go now to apply the veil...the next time I write an entry I will be Mrs. Rin Anberu..._

_Rin Yama Sakaru._

"Can you believe it's my wedding day?" I whispered, as mom placed the veil over my head. "Just two years ago I was starving myself...and now, here I am, ready to be married."

"It's hard to believe..." She beamed proudly and kissed my cheek. "Come on, Kohaku is waiting."

Mom guided me out of my changing room to a organized line of people. My bridesmaids/best friends, my flower girl little two-year-old Kira, my three ring bearers. Takeaki, Takito, and Inumaru, and my dad.

"Can you believe it's my wedding day, dad?" I said, wrapping my arm in his so he'd be ready to walk me down the aisle.

"You look nice," was his simple respond.

As the music started everyone began to walk out into the room where the wedding was going to be held. My heart began to beat fast, I was so nervous and felt the butterflies begin to fill up my stomach. "I can do this..." I told myself, stepping forward with my dad right beside me.

The butterflies that fluttered in my stomach quickly faded away as I saw Kohaku. He stood there, tall and handsome. His long black hair pulled into a neat ponytail and a small blush crossed his face. His suit matched perfectly against his muscular built body and I felt myself to become slightly turned-on by looking at him.

When we reached the end of the aisle, dad picked up my veil and kissed my cheeks. "My little girl is all grown up..." was faint and quickly whispered as he moved from one cheek to the other.

After setting my veil down I walked up the few stairs to the platform where Kohaku and I would be married. Kindly, he lent out his hand and guided me up the steps.

"This is it," he said, "The end of our suicidal love, and the start of a new beginning."

* * *

Author's notes - Well, there it is. The ending of Suicidal Love. I'm actually amazed it only lasted to be fourteen chapters. I was aiming for twenty but then things would have repeated and it just would've become more boring then it already was. My story ended a lot like the Inuyasha anime - like crap. (It was good, but could've been better...) I thank each and everyone of my reviewers and readers for being with this story for the past year and I wish you all good luck with your own stories. Maybe in the future I'll write another Rin and Kohaku story...(laughs) if I get any ideas...but for now I say good-bye. 

-Anorexia


End file.
